Strick's Laws of Printing

Who Strick was, or where he or she worked, remains a mystery. But one thing is pretty clear. Strick was a pressman.

1.       A customer never changes his mind on ink color until after the press is inked.

2.       A good pressman never gets to run good equipment

3.       A pressman is only as good as the last job he ran.

4.       Pessimism in the pressroom is directly proportional to optimism in the office.

5.       Incompetency is an inherent characteristic of all people with authority.

6.       Telling the boss “it can’t be done” will insure that you will be given a chance to try.

7.       If you print a “perfect” job, somebody will always find a typo in it.

8.       No matter what goes wrong, never admit fault. If they corner you, lie.

9.       Always put your spoilage in somebody else’s garbage can.

10.    Coming to work with a good attitude is dangerous and should not be tolerated. On the other hand, chronic bitching is exciting, keeps the office staff in line and prevents ulcers.

11.    A wise pressman always puts the good ones on top.

12.    When printing multi-colored jobs that are in a “must go today” situation, you can be sure that you will not get the plates until 3 PM.

13.    Pressmen who don’t drink simply don’t understand the situation they are in.

14.    Ask for a raise at least once a week…you won’t get it, but you will keep them worried.

15.    To be a competent journeyman, you must know at least 200 swear words and be able to invent new ones at will.

16.    Be wary of a smooth-running press…something is going wrong and it is up to you to find it.

17.    The chances of something going wrong with your press is directly proportional to how far away you are from it.

18.    When a customer demands blue ink on his job, you can be sure the color of the stock will be yellow.

19.    When muttering swear words in the pressroom, the only people that will hear you will be the customer who is a nun, the boss’s wife or the pope’s brother.

20.    If management fills out a ticket wrong, and you print the job, don’t worry about it- you are going to get the blame, regardless.

21.    The best way to insure that your shop will always have an adequate supply of rubber bands, paper clips and scotch tape is to ask the boss for new parts for the press.

22.    The best place for your company to place its salesman in relation to the pressroom is out of town.

23.    If you believe what management tells you, you haven’t been in the trade long enough.

24.    When you start a new job and the manager tells you to take the first day to get acquainted with the equipment and company procedure, figure on having ten minutes before they hand you a rush job.

25.    Telling the prep department they stripped a job crooked will insure that the next 10 will be.

26.    When the ink salesman tells you that their new ink dries “instantly”, your next three

jobs will offset.

27.    When cutting stock and you have no help, it will always be on the bottom.

28.    When the customer demands a perfect ink match, their sample will always be on colored stock.

29.    You come to work on Monday and the boss says, “This job has to be delivered on Wednesday”, chances are good that you will have a press breakdown, run out of plates, and the stock will be back ordered.