Stress, Uncertainty, and Trauma-Stacking

As leaders, we all know that people need certainty. Our brains love certainty. Without it, we are flooded with stress chemicals and amygdala hijacks occur. But what about those times in life when the stressors, the uncertainty, and the traumas you're facing are not spread out in a way that allows you the space to process and heal? What happens when you're in a trauma or crisis and coping the best you can when suddenly another one plops down on you and you haven't had time to handle the first one yet? And then, you find that life throws you another curveball, and then another, and another. We call this trauma-stacking, and it's a real phenomenon that layers the stress chemicals and keeps the energy stored and locked in your body. What to do? Here are three tips for navigating trauma-stacking:

1. Find the people and places that feel safe. Surround yourself with support. You may feel inclined to hide in a dark room, head under the covers, and not deal with people, but this is the time to reach out to anyone and everyone who can offer you safety, comfort, and support. Let others pour into you. Accept hugs. The brain chemicals from hugs can calm the brain chemicals from traumatic stress.
2. Create certainty where you can. Accept that things will be uncertain and seek pockets of clarity and certainty. Maybe you don't know where you will live, but you can be certain you will have a place to live. Bank on that piece of certainty. Whatever small sliver of certainty you can find or create for yourself, do. It will combat the basic needs and anxieties that get triggered by not knowing what is happening or what to expect. Shift your mindset. Quickly become comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty. Become comfortable with uncertainty itself. One of my mentors when I was a young CEO said something poignant that I've had on my bulletin board ever since:

"Life sure does throw us curveballs...or maybe life IS curveballs we keep expecting to be straight?" ~ Dan Luczak

1. Prioritize yourself. Seriously. This is not just platitudinous self care. This is mission critical. Especially if you have a lifetime of taking care of others and prioritizing the needs of others, this may be unfamiliar to you. Figure it out. Lean on the people who support you for ideas of ways to put yourself at the top of your list. Do whatever you can to create space for yourself to do whatever you do to process pain. Cry, scream, journal, jump, run, whatever. You need to do whatever it takes to get through the trauma stack to whatever is on the other side of that mountain. From there you can create your future you.