Stress Relief Tip - Don't Try To Control The Uncontrollable
Professor Pete’s Stress Management Tools
Helping Hard-Driving Leaders Protect Their Health And Handle Challenging Situations With Grace And Success.
Many things we experience are beyond our control – traffic, the weather, flight delays, the economy, and of course the behavior of other people. If you are a parent, you especially understand that controlling your kids is a challenging and often futile proposition.
Things that are out of your control attract your attention, and by giving those factors your attention you are setting yourself up for stress. Rather than worrying over things beyond your control, why not focus on the things you can control?
A good technique for helping you with this is the 50 percent rule – the mindset that 50 percent of a challenge you can control and 50 percent you cannot. Control only what you can control and be 100 percent responsible for it. By following this rule, you ensure your contribution is effective before allowing any waste of time, energy, or attention on the “other 50 percent” that isn’t within your control. The 50 percent rule puts you in charge.(1)
An effective way to do this is when you are faced with a stressful situation that you have time to think about, try making two lists: the first list is what you cannot control about the situation, and the second list is what you can control about the situation. Once you have created both lists, try to focus as much of your attention on what you can control. When we feel like we are in control of our situation and can affect change, our stress naturally goes down.
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This mindset also applies to events in the future that have not happened yet. In other words, you should feel okay about not knowing exactly how things will turn out. Accept the unpredictability of life. Can you imagine how dull life would be if we knew everything that would happen? Think of all that is right with your life, control what you can, and embrace ambiguity in the future unknown.(2)
Please note that there is no guarantee a particular stress relief tool will work for you. Thus you must take complete responsibility for using them and for your own physical and emotional wellbeing. Further, Professor Pete Alexander is not a licensed health professional. Please consult qualified health practitioners regarding your use of any stress relief technique. Medical advice must only be obtained from a physician or qualified health practitioner.