Stress Management
Plenty has been said about the impact of coronavirus on our daily lives so that I won’t dwell on that topic other than to say that coronavirus all by its monstrous self has caused an oppressive layer of stress affecting us all. Inability to interact socially has been among the gravest effects. #workfromhome #twitter #facebook
This discussion instead focuses on stress management in general consistent with the way I have practiced it throughout my life and with the advice I have given the clients I coach professionally. Undoubtedly you have heard some of this advice before. You might dismiss it as common sense. I would argue that some may believe they possess common sense but its application in real life eludes them.
Avoid stressful situations
The simplest way to manage stress, so simple that it is nearly a cliché, is to avoid stressful situations. Limit the time you spend with an obnoxious person. When you can, if you can, walk away. That if is a big word, however, especially in office situations. Sometimes at work you can’t walk away. You face conflict or confrontation and must deal with it. What you can do is to present your case in a calm, fact-based way, free from anger and anxiety. You don’t let your emotions spiral you into a tailspin of uncontrollable rancor.
The converse is to surround yourself with people who are not obnoxious as much as you can, at work or outside work. Happy people bring about happiness in others. #stressmanagement
How do you know if you’re stressed? The short answer is that you feel it. Physical indicators are lack of sound sleep(not enough or too much), low energy, headaches, chest pain, rapid heartbeat, overall tenseness, including muscle tension, aches and pains, upset stomach. Psychological and emotional signs of stress include anxiety or depression, anger, irritability, lack of focus, difficulty in concentration, memory loss, constant worry.
You can take any number of stress tests to gauge whether you are stressed out. They are free. It goes with saying that accurate results depend on the sincerity of your input. Here are three tests that you can complete in little time. Some of the questions are similar. Consider taking all of the tests to compare scores. Thus, you should find a consistent assessment of your stress level.
There are a jillion techniques to help you manage stress in any situation. Here is one I like whenever you feel anxiety: the STOP method— a proven stress reliever. The short-hand descriptor for this technique is a well-known idiom: Take a deep breath.
The basic steps are:
· S — Refrain from an emotional outburst of anger. Pause for a moment.
· T — Take a deep slow breath through your nose, exhale slowly through your mouth.
· O — Observe your inner emotions. Calm down. Recognize that an angry reaction will only provoke a similar response.
· P — Proceed. What’s the one thing that you can say, in a tranquil spirit, that will defuse the situation. Smile as you say it.
Be Healthy, be well
Whatever your age, it is indisputable that good health is of paramount concern. Health affects every aspect of your life: your career, your relationships, your social activities. Wellness is the state of living a healthy lifestyle. There is no quick fix. Good health & wellness are achieved and maintained holistically through healthy practice over a sustained period of time. #health #wellness
It is also incontestable that stress causes poor health. Extensive research has demonstrated that stress can worsen or risk unhealthy conditions such as obesity, Alzheimer’s disease, depression, diabetes, gastrointestinal maladies, asthma, skin problems, migraine headaches, accelerated aging, and most likely cancer, whether I can prove it or not.
My twin sister died of uterine cancer in her early 40’s. She suffered severe stress in a failing relationship. I feel certain that stress compounded her condition.
The human body is the world’s most precious instrument, as sublime as the finest Stradivarius violin. The human brain and eye are the most complex organs in the body. Like a rare Stradivarius violin, the body must be cared for in healthy practice for a lifetime, including a good diet, sound sleep, and sufficient exercise.
Keep a healthy diet
We eat for several reasons, one— because we need to, in order to survive and obtain the nutrition needed to fuel our bodies; two— we eat to some degree habitually(our pre-historic predecessors ate in a famine or feast cycle; in some civilizations people ate only one meal a day), and third— we eat for gratification. It is pleasurable to taste good food.
You can find on the Internet many diets to lose weight or to maintain a healthy figure. Critics often label quick-weight loss diets as “fad” diets. I have observed all kinds of diets, including diets that restrict eating to popcorn, or just drinking beer! The diet that has always worked for me has been the Atkins diet. Recently, I lost 8.8 kilos on this low-carb diet, staying on the induction phase(1) for an entire month. But I do not recommend any particular diet, because everyone has special needs and tolerances. #diet
Instead, I advocate anyone seeking to lose weight and to maintain good health the following:
· Eat smaller portions.
· Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
· Eat chicken, pork, seafood—and occasionally— lean beef.
· Avoid processed foods.
· Avoid sweetened beverages that spike your blood sugar(glucose).
· Drink lots of water.
· Drink alcohol in moderation.
· Do not smoke.
· Strive for metabolic fitness https://bit.ly/2M4YUoJ.
Consider supplements
There are two schools of thought about supplements. One school scoffs at their efficacy, writing off supplements as needless expense, hyper-marketing—just short of a scam. The other school praises the benefits of supplements.
I take a pragmatic view of this argument. To me, using supplements is like an insurance policy. In my early youth, I was a habitual smoker, a habit I eventually recognized as uselessly toxic to my health, and I quit completely. I spend less on supplements than I did on cigarettes as an addicted chain smoker.
You can google the health benefits of supplements including those reported to have efficacy for anti-anxiety. Caveat: be sure to read potential side effects and cautionary comments before taking any supplement. https://mayocl.in/3k0cO8e. All of these supplements are supported by research to combat anxiety and are available without a prescription. #anxiety
· Omega 3
· 5-HTP
· DHEA
· St. John’s wort
· Ginkgo Biloba
Get enough sleep
The Mayo Clinic recommends that adults sleep between 7-9 hours a day. Their research indicates that adults who don’t sleep enough perform poorly on complex mental tasks compared with people who get adequate sleep of 7~ hours a day. #sleep https://mayocl.in/3qus3J0
Take power naps
No matter how many hours you sleep, experiment during work with a 15-20 minute power nap in a quiet room at the office or in the comfort of your home if you are remote working—to refresh yourself magically during the day.
Exercise regularly
Exercise is the best stress management tool I have ever found. I exercise daily in one way or another. Although I have experienced many stressful situations(who hasn’t), other than during occasional surgical procedures or preventative health procedures, I have never taken a tranquilizer. Regular exercise is my natural sedative. #exercise
I have always been a jogger, but for much of my life ran as training for other sports. Then a boss “recruited” me to join him in the New York marathon, the first of many, and I was hooked. There is something cool about running through all five boroughs of Manhattan, and the crowd support is amazing.
These days, because of coronavirus, I join virtual long-distance events, including the Honolulu Marathon, which was cancelled in real-time last December.
One organization that I really enjoy is The Conqueror Virtual Challenge Series: https://bit.ly/2LWQAax. Not only are these fitness activities healthy, and The Conqueror postcards they send you along your journey informative guides, but there is another plus factor. At every milestone(20% increments), The Conqueror organization teams up with an NGO, Eden Reforestation Projects, to plant a tree in deforested areas around the world.
Achieve work-life balance
Work is a focus in our existence, the source of our livelihood. Ambitious workers strive to produce and to excel. Achievement provides fulfilment.
The operative word is balance. In so many ways, an imbalance results in harm. Excessive exercise—underexercise; overeating—undereating; overwork— underwork: all examples of unhealthy imbalances.
People have been writing about the benefit of work-life balance since time immemorial, and employers have advocated its salubrious impact on improved productivity continually. As published in the Journal of Human Resources Management and Labor Studies, “work-life balance involves successfully managing the deal between paid work and other essential activities — such as spending time with family, participating in exercises and leisure, offering unpaid assistance or pursuing additional study. Enhancing balance between work and personal lives results in genuine paybacks both for employers and employees.”
Recall Parkinson’s Law: work expands to meet the time allotted to it. The effect is that the amount of work you can do in a day is unlimited. Your task list is never completed. Call it quits at the end of the day, move on and move out to spend time with friends and family, enjoy a hobby, relax and refresh. Close the door to office work. #worklifebalance
Clients often jump to the conclusion that volunteerism is the best off-work activity for them. Some have volunteered to help Make a Wish https://www.worldwish.org/history/, an NGO dedicated to fulfil the wishes of terminally ill children. Others have set up chapters of Lean In https://leanin.org/, helped care for patients suffering from dementia, worked in safe haven refuges for abused women, and served in many other volunteer activities.
This volunteer work is noble and rewarding. Yet work-life balance does not require that you become a volunteer. The main point is that you do something outside of work, and the best activity is something that interests you, and ideally that you can share with friends and family.
So you were the captain of your high school or university rugby team. Fantastic, but when was the last time you played rugby? Consider playing rugby or any other sport in a community league or coaching younger players at your school.
Or take up a new hobby. There may be someone out there who does not like music, but I have never known them. You probably played some instrument in school. Take it up again or learn a new instrument to augment mental dexterity and to refresh your spirit outside of work. If not locked down, go out with friends and family to a karaoke studio and sing your heart out https://bit.ly/3btUkZM. If locked down, sing in the shower. Dance! https://bit.ly/37wKDIW Or try your hand at art. I have been an art aficionado since university and am an avid collector. But I believed I had zero talent for actual painting until I tried not so long ago. What I discovered was that the art of painting is an incredibly soothing pastime.
Be self-aware
Most people agree that self-awareness is the first step in acquiring leadership. If you don’t know who you are—your strengths and areas for further development—how can you adequately assess the strengths and weaknesses of others and put together effective teams. Moreover, you may attribute success to your initiative when it occurred despite you—who was actually an obstacle to success— but you never knew it, because you lacked self-awareness.
For years I have been using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator(MBTI), modeled on Carl Jung’s treatise on personality(Psychological Types), to interpret MBTI assessments. My service includes an hour session to discuss MBTI results and implications for personal development. Important are not just the identification of personal preferences but also an understanding of the preferences of others, in order to craft strategies for successful teamwork. I subscribe annually to a service so that clients can take the MBTI assessment online. #coaching
But here’s the deal. You can take a derivative of the MBTI free on 16 Personalities https://www.16personalities.com/. The questions are not difficult, and the assessment does not take long to complete. Answer the questions sincerely in order to get accurate results, help you better understand different personality types, and build better relationships with others. When there are sharply different personalities involved there is interpersonal conflict, stress, and a strategy to resolve it.
Be grateful & kind
We have so much to be grateful for, the presence of our loved ones, the fresh air we breathe, the achievement of a fulfilling project, friendship, the list goes on. Take a brief moment every day to be mindful of what you are grateful for and take the occasion to express that gratefulness with those around you. It may be thanks for a beautifully prepared and presented meal by your partner, or thanks to a colleague at work who helps you complete an important task when they did not need to.
It can be a random act of kindness you show a stranger: helping an elderly person having difficulty cross a busy intersection, returning a wallet someone lost in a coffee shop, thanking the person taking your order for their service at a restaurant or in a convenience store. You have a myriad of chances to show kindness and that expression will give you a good feeling. It will also encourage others to be kind and have a positive spirit. #kindness
Say it with a smile. It takes the same energy or less to smile than it does to communicate with someone when you are sour-faced. And you can take it a step further. Laugh more! The research is mounting that a good laugh can work wonders for your health, including strengthening of your immune system, lowering of blood pressure, and relieving stress https://bit.ly/2NCIep1 .
Take care of your network
Here’s one I need to be mindful of myself. You will build a powerful network of friends and supporters who can help you find a new job, if that is your goal, or empathize and advise about problems that you are facing. Nurture that network. It is easy to let your network slide. Big mistake. Stay in touch with your network periodically, at a minimum when you are preparing those New Year’s cards, but importantly much earlier, at every turn in your life, and especially when someone in your network helps you. Your network can be your savior. Take care of your network. People fundamentally want to help. Let them help you. #networking
Practice continuous learning
When we stop learning, we stop living. Seize every opportunity to learn from everything in everyday life. As much as anything, learn from failure, from making mistakes you can recover from and grow. I am fond of saying: Adversity is our greatest teacher. You will experience setbacks if you are human, but such setbacks are opportunities to develop resilience and personal growth. #learning
Read. It seems hackneyed advice, but I cannot overemphasize the value of reading as a continual source of learning. Throughout my adult life, I’ve set a target to read at least one book a week, sometimes fiction, other times non-fiction, sometimes poetry, which I feel joy in composing.
Explore creative realization
If necessity is the mother of invention, creative visualization is the parent of personal development and growth. Take the time daily to live in the present moment https://bit.ly/3qqXzYw and not dwell on the past. Make an effort not to worry about things you cannot control. Find the right balance of past, present, and future. Visualize your goals, give fire to your inspirations, imagine your future as you build the self-confidence that it will be. Take out worry or doubt out of the equation. You can do it. You will do it! Visualize your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, and living in the moment relish those targets, the enriching nuggets of life. #creativity
Meditate
Meditation goes hand in glove with creative visualization. The research is extensive that meditation can build skills to manage stress, decrease hypertension, reduce negative emotions, stimulate imagination and creativity, and increase patience and tolerance. #meditation
Meditation is believed to have originated in India and migrated to Japan, transmogrified in Zen Buddhism. Alan Watts, a guru and expert on Buddhism, Taoism, and Hinduism, was my first teacher. In my early 20’s, I visited a friend in Germany and her brother handed me a copy of Alan Watt’s The Way of Zen. It was the kind of serendipity that influenced my life thinking. Over the years, I read every book Alan Watts ever wrote, devouring whatever he said about meditation. Check out this article about meditation: https://bit.ly/2NrjYq
· Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you non-judgmentally.
· Don’t push thoughts out of your head.
· Think of everything as a happening in the moment, sounds you hear, thoughts you have.
· Allow your breathing to follow its own course naturally.
· You will find yourself breathing more deeply and slowly.
· Don’t worry about the future.
· Be aware of what is.
I spend no more than 10 minutes a day meditating. In the morning I meditate breathing with short, rapid inhalation/exhalation for about 20-30 seconds followed by a very deep, long inhalation. This exercise stimulates my brain as if with the jolt of caffeine in a double espresso.
In the evening I meditate to relax and quickly fall asleep. For around five minutes, I listen to the sounds around me, and especially the sound of my breathing, which is deep and slow. I can feel warmth moving through my body as oxygen feeds it and gives me energy. I inhale through my nostrils and don’t worry about the count or the pause after each inhalation and exhalation. I simply go with the flow and feel the tranquility.
I have taught these techniques to clients who found them very helpful. One told me that his parents had difficulty sleeping but when he shared the meditation exercise with them, they overcame that problem.
Touch Nature
Nothing can be freer or more rewarding than to get out and enjoy nature, or as the idiom goes, to smell the roses. When I googled it, this definition came up, which is apropos: to enjoy the finer or more enjoyable aspects of life, especially when one has become overworked or overly stressed.
The air we breathe is free. The infinite variety and exquisite color of flowers we experience are free. The innocence of a baby’s smile is priceless. Or the love of a pet for its owner.
Get out in nature. Visit a greenbelt in your neighborhood or a park filled with the beauty and joy of nature. You can enjoy the exercise of a nice stroll and the preciousness of our green earth, our only home. #naturalhealing
Take breaks from social media
Have you ever tracked the amount of time you spend on social media in a day or a week? For most of us, the time spent is extraordinary and can be addictive, as some of the founders planned(no kidding).
Especially when you are out with a partner, business or non-business in nature, refrain from constantly using your cell phone. Seldom is a call or text message urgent. Make the occasion quality time to share with your partner. And when you call it a workday, experiment with shutting down social media so that you can relieve the stress of a constant barrage of too often unsettling news over which you have no control.
In particular, do not take your cell phone into the bedroom. Enough said.
Manage time
I have written a companion piece to this post on the subject of time management, which I encourage you to read, as time management is an important aspect of stress management. Deadlines are a pressure point that can create anxiety in anyone. Some bosses, not the ablest, make every deadline an urgent one, or still worse, assign the same work to different people. Learn to ask when the real deadline is and to point out time management challenges that make it difficult to meet. Take the initiative to recommend the streamlining or elimination of work tasks that are redundant or unnecessary. You can find loads of such needless work in any organization.
Multi-task sparingly. It seems like a neat idea to get more than one, sometimes several things done at once, but research shows that excessive multi-tasking may cause distraction and limit rather than increase productivity https://bit.ly/2NmstTr .
I multi-task in limited doses. One way is to listen to podcasts or audiobooks as I jog. At other times, though, I prefer to use the training time and mull through a project I am working on, like this post. #timemanagement
The advice I give to my clients aligns with the way I manage my time. I follow the PPF formula:
Plan
Prioritize
Focus
Reward yourself
At the beginning of this article, I wrote that managing stress is a lifelong practice with multi-dimensions. One aspect affects another. Stress undoubtedly can have a deleterious negative effect on health.
Stick with it. I’ve suggested the ways I have learned to manage stress in my life. In the end, you will develop the model that works best for you.
One thing I should mention in concluding is to avoid making your life such a spartan existence of doing this and not doing that so that the result causes stress in itself. The corollaries are to take breaks from time to time, and to celebrate milestones in your progress by rewarding yourself. Celebrate with your partner. They will appreciate your gesture accordingly
Be healthy, be well, love.
Warren J. Devalier
n.b. I welcome comments: Direct Message @linked-in or email