Stress

I’ve felt stressed the past few days — and it’s an experience I’m no longer accustomed to. Years ago, in my corporate career, I was on high alert most of the time. Feeling stressed was a given. High profile role, high expectations of myself, too many demands on my time and energy in a highly toxic work environment all contributed to high levels of stress.? It was exhausting. I know from experience how hard, if not impossible, it is to do your best work under such conditions.

Today, I’m reflecting on stress. Simply because I’ve been feeling it lately. What causes it?? Why do so many of us feel it on a day-to-day basis?

What IS Stress?

The simples explanation I’ve ever come across for stress is this:

Stress is what arises when we’re trying to control something that we can’t.?

And when it comes right down to it, there are only a few things we can control:

• Our thoughts — at least some of them — the ones we’re aware of
• Our beliefs —? again, only those we’re aware of
• Our actions — pretty much all of these are within our control

Everything else is outside our control. We can’t control our bosses, teams, colleagues, customers or partners. We can’t control the external circumstances we find ourselves in.? We can, however, control our response to what happens. ?

Especially as a leader in a world that’s riddled with uncertainty, letting go of control is tricky, maybe even a bit scary. The ego senses a threat and wants to protect us. Yet, our teams and people look to us as leaders to guide them through that uncertainty with confidence. Even if we don’t always feel it. We want to control the situation as much as possible, yet often find we can’t. It’s a perfect storm for stress to build up if we’re not careful.

I’ve not been careful.

Lately, I’ve resented my external circumstances and reacted to them with stress.? Felt they were distracting me from what most matters. Yet, I chose to commit to all of them, and occasionally felt obliged to go along with others.

It began well enough with a relaxing and restful few days holiday mid August; I came back refreshed and ready.? Yet I struggled to get back into the swing of things. I began ignoring the routine activities I need to do on a regular basis, losing that consistency that is so important when you’re? running your own business.?

Further behind than I intended, I headed off to Swanage for a long weekend to enjoy the Folk Festival with my husband. We got drenched. Every day, caught out in torrential rain. I came back ill tempered and distressed, and even further behind with those routine but important tasks. Didn’t get them done…

Cue this weekend, and a surprise birthday party for my husband, the RoxyFest to prepare for, set up and manage our display there, and today, I definitely feel as if I’m coming from behind. With a huge week ahead of training, coaching and delivery, much of which I am not fully prepared for.

I’ve been reacting; making the circumstances wrong. Wishing I could change or cry off those commitments. All to no avail. Yet, I did get everything organised. RoxyFest was a big success; I managed to get my office back into shape for today.? Despite the heavy week ahead, the myriad things I need to do, I have a choice: I can carry on reacting, up my stress levels and perform under par. Or I could choose a more resourceful response, one that eases the stress, and interestingly, puts me back in control of what I can control: my thoughts and actions.

Almira

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