The Stress Buster Formula

Struggle, pressure and tension is what happens to all of us. It is up to us to react to it with stress or respond to it with a resolution.

Let me explain this with a story.

Rutwik & Tushar were running a profitable retail business, that they had built from scratch with sheer grit, hard work, financial prudence and persistence over the last 20 years. Recently they experienced sudden hardships in business as theirs sales dwindled, leading to insufficiency in working capital, depletion of cash reserves that went on to fund the slow-moving inventory, lack of credit from suppliers and immobile fixed costs, which lead them to borrow and finally their inability to repay borrowings with the declining cash flow led to financial trouble. This led them to bankruptcy. This bankruptcy generated different responses from the two seasoned Entrepreneurs.

Rutwik, being a typical gentleman, had always led his life in a way that would be socially pleasing, reacted to the bankruptcy as a major shock and became mentally disturbed. He held his fate responsible for his misfortune and succumbed to depression. He later retired and lived the rest of his life dependent and at the mercy of his family.

Tushar on the other hand, being a person who was considered a typical weirdo, as he didn't really follow the norms of the society and did things as he deemed fit, instead of being socially pleasing, responded by accepting the bankruptcy as a bad outcome that materialized as a prefacto which had significant chances of materializing, due to the advent of e-commerce. He went on to become a successful business consultant, who ended up helping numerous businesses navigate the stormy waters plagued with the waves of disruption with first hand experience under his belt. He was considered a highly successful business consultant, amassing wealth that he deployed in the companies he consulted and saw tremendous potential at lucrative valuations due to his strategic positioning. 15 years later when he retired, as a voice in the industry everyone revered, his opinion respected by top business people and last but not the least he had compounded his wealth at a brisk rate that made him multiple times wealthy than he was at the peak of his erstwhile retail business. He lived the rest of his life happily with his family, where he was looked upto for his wisdom.To understand the difference in their responses, it is imperative to understand the Persona and Psyche of the two individuals. 

This would require us to know their upbringing and their experiences in this journey. 

Let's begin.

Rutwik grew up in a protected and sheltered environment in a colony. His father was a well paid government executive and mother, a housewife. In his early years he played board games like Ludo, Snake & Ladder and also liked to play outdoor games like cricket & football as a consistent team player and performer, always striving and feeling pressured to perform better with every iteration. He was an obedient kid, never expressing his personal opinion and was programmed to be consistent in his studies too. His usual vacations would be visiting his native place, where all his cousin's would gather, creating an inevitable comparision that fuelled competitiveness within him to be the best in the rat race. This competitiveness was supported by his parents of being the topper in the race of academics only. He was also always taught to listen to elders, display people pleasing behaviour and he became adept at it. So much so that it was what the society expected of him that drove him. He was one of those rare ideal kids, who every stereotypical parent looked upto and compared their children to. He ended up feeling pressured to fulfilling all his social and family responsibilities, like taking formal higher education, getting a job, having timely promotions in his early career, buying a car, buying a house, getting married, having kids etc. His life theme was stereotypical, the socially celebrated one.

Tushar on the other hand grew up in a more flexible environment. His father had an agency business and his mother again a housewife, who was enterprising with a knack for creativity. In his early days he played games like finding differences between two similar looking pictures and solving different puzzles. He played outdoor games like cricket and football as a player who had hunger for experimentation, had leadership and ownership qualities, trying to learn and do something unique each time. He was a street smart kid, who managed his academics getting average marks. His usual vacations were similar to that of Rutwik, where the inevitable comparisions happened fueling competitiveness. But it was his beloved grandmother who always encouraged him to be unique and focus on holistic development. He was taught to be self dependent in a semi controlled environment. He was taught to be respectful to people, was encouraged to have an independent opinion and yet respect diverse perspectives of people. He evolved into being driven by independence of thought. He was taught to have a healthy self image and value it over anything else. His life theme was customized to suit his inner values and needs instead of the stereotypical societal theme. He went about his social and family responsibilities in a semi experimental manner. He changed streams of his formal education, learning different skills and figuring out the best fit for him, he changed a couple of jobs in the beginning of his career and always gave preference to having a good leader and boss from whom he could learn, over anything else, got married when he was ready to be with the person he felt worth living and sharing life with, bought a car when he found it necessary after his first child was born and bought a house when he had enough disposable saving. His life theme was customized to suit his requirements and was very different from the socially acceptable stereotype.

To draw home the conclusion, it was more the attitude and expression of attitude that differentiated Rutwik and Tushar. 

The learning here is, there is no single fit approach to how one must lead his life. It is up to the person to decide what fits him best.It is not what happens to us that defines us, but how we respond to it that does.The secret of how we respond is hidden in the way we have been brought up, the value system that has been imbibed and the weightage assigned to the freedom of thought and expression. Society must provide us with a supportive ecosystem rather than be the shackles to our fate.

Rutwik and Tushar are two extreme outcomes possible. Each of us is somewhere in between this spectrum. 

But here is the best part,

'We are not immovable like the trees, Hence, we can choose and alter the outcome that we are moving towards, by altering our beliefs and hence the expression of our beliefs. At the end the key to our future is in our very own hands. 

Choose wisely!

The sequel: The Task Manager v/s People's Manager

Disclaimer - "This article is purely fictional. Any resemblance to anything or any person real, living or dead, is purely coincidental."