Are Strength and Weakness Artificial Constructs?

The ageless debate of whether if we should focus on leveraging our strengths or improve our weaknesses is palpable. I personally have found this binary construct to be not very helpful framing. It is easy to hide behind “our strengths” or fall in the self-diminishing trap of fixing “our weaknesses.” Instead of getting too attached to our strengths or weaknesses, developing a range of capacities and focusing on contextual applications rather than perfection will yield higher milage.

Drawing from the wisdom of the Buddhist philosophy, non-dualism encourages us to look beyond our innate desire to categorize, judge, evaluate things as right vs. wrong, black vs. white, strength vs. weakness. Let’s hold all parts of ourselves simply as attributes, that we can lean on as we sense into what is needed then adapt and modulate accordingly. The dynamic understanding of the cause and effect in what is needed from us, at what point in time, in what context, with what approach is ultimately true leadership intelligence.

A reframe of strengths and weakness

The practice of a specific leadership attributes aptly over time make it our “strengths.” However, an attribute is a “strength” if and only if it is applied effectively, in the right context, with the right pressure. Similarly, “weaknesses” are nothing but attributes that have not yet being developed, tapped into, or put into practice regularly. We can deepen our mastery of contextual application of these attributes by first becoming aware of the circumstance we are in and what is needed from us to respond.

The holy grail of leadership is mastery of the self-awareness and system-awareness capacity so that we can assess situations accurately and chose the right response to harmonize with/tune to what the situation is calling for. In other words, it is about developing the capacity and range to assess situation accurately, without bias, and show up with the right combination of “tools” in our tool belt to get the job done.

We all lean on certain attributes as our dominant strategy as our comfort blanket. Here are some tips to breakout that habit: 

1. Ask “What is needed of me?” vs. “What am I good at?” 

Just like a contractor that you hire to fix a water leak damage does not show up with a jumbo hammer and immediately knock down walls just because it is what she’s good at (or perhaps enjoy.) You’d like her to assess the situation first and then determine what is salvageable, what is cosmetic damage vs structural, and how to remediate the situation. 

Similarly, this approach applies to leadership situations. A CEO client I coach has a preference to influence through informal conversations as he views interpersonal skills as your “strengths.” That said, these point-to-point communications is becoming more difficult to triangulate as team size grows and organization structure becomes more complex. What is needed of him is not more point-to-point conversations (to serve his own needs); rather, to be an initiator of a well-orchestrated process that brings people together while retaining the personal elements that he enjoys. This new orientation feels awkward to him (as it should as as it is a new muscle he is developing!) but he knows he needs to overcome to become a better leader for his team.

2. Take yourself out of the spotlight

The mental model that most of us carry is that we are in the center of everything. This self-centered mental model creates a fear of judgment (“the spotlight is on me!”) The truth is, too many people worry about themselves under the spotlight and no one is actually looking at the spotlight itself! (I know, it’s counterintuitive, right?) 

When we assess what is needed of our leadership, we need to shift from using an inside-out to an outside-in approach. Inside-out is when we evaluate the situation and take actions based on our internal assessment of what is needed – how we are feeling, what we are thinking, what we know, etc. Outside-in approach is when we can literally observe our situation as a bystander. Keenly see, listen, sense into the situation—what am I hearing? What am I sensing? What is needed of the situation?  When we do that, we can break free from responding to situations with that same jumbo hammer of our choice that we know too well… 

3. Pay attention – to your intention

What is the dialogue that you have inside your head right before you respond to a situation?

Here are some usual suspects:

·     What do I say that doesn’t make me sound too [fill in the blank]?

·     How do I show up as an expert?  

·     Who do I need to impress? 

 Or is it “How do I understand the problem as objectively as I can?”

When we pay attention to our inner chatters, we are no longer observing and understanding; instead, the exercise has become “taming the shrew” in our head! When you get lost in these chatters, check back in with your intention – and make sure your attention is placed on nothing but that. This will help you re-center and jump back to the outside-in approach as previous mentioned.

In conclusion, when we are able to shift from labeling things as “strengths” and “weaknesses” to improving our self and contextual awareness, we are able to build a leadership range that is flexible and versatile to thrive in any situation.

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At MKMB, we guide leaders, businesses, organizations through a holistic process to shift their operating system to create optimal conditions for reinvention and transformation.