STRENGTHENING RESILIENCE IN VULNERABLE YOUNG PEOPLE

For a long time, I have thought about studies of resilience, as a criminologist studying people who commit terrible things while also working alongside communities who have experienced terrible things and are doing there best to transcend often complex needs, trauma and abuse. It is not uncommon for these two groups to be interconnected.

I have also worked in high schools’ primary schools and NSW Education, taught at University of NSW in the school of Criminology and Social Work and in Juvenile prisons and mentored people coming out of prison where I have witnessed vulnerable young people at all stages navigate the complexity of the world in which we live in. I have been a part of grass roots anti bullying campaigns and other great programs and after much reflection I have come to this standpoint.

We cant stop the bully. We live in a diverse and at times challenging world and we need experiences that will test us and put us under pressure to strengthen our resilience. What we need equally if not more of though is a strengths based approach that provides the opportunity to develop the skills to confidently navigate these people and problems that we may encounter.

I have at many times come across a real fear in institutions, schools and organisations to strengthen resilience and confidence through the delivery of self defense type programs. The idea of them is often linked to a violent connotation which to be honest for the most part I completely understand.

However, what I have learnt as a criminologist is that people in custody have statistically higher levels of victimisation than the rest of the population particularly in juvenile detention. This is even higher for women in custody and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. In addition, to being victims of crime, they have larger levels of trauma, abuse and one of the earliest indicators for all people in the beginning of juvenile and anti-social behaviour starts with truancy and disengagement from school.

And whilst these are complex issues, combating bullying through strengthening resilience could only have a positive impact on these population groups. I know we have amazing community programs here in Redfern, Sydney that use boxing fitness three mornings a week as part of a community development and crime prevention initiative. I know my Jiu Jitsu school ran a women’s mentoring program for local girls in the community to engage them in self defense and linked them with mentors in the community, there are great programs and examples already happening across communities.

The case for Gracie Jiu Jitsu

Gracie Jiu Jitsu is self-defence. It is a model of grappling that does not involve strikes, punches or kicks that can defend and mobilise an opponent and provide the skills to keep a weaker and smaller person safe.

Why Jiu Jitsu? For the environments I reference here, schools and juvenile detention centres there is already an uneasiness towards self-defence or fighting of any kind. Gracie Jiu Jitsu provides a syllabus that is safe an effective for students of all levels and abilities.

For me personally having now practiced Gracie Jiu Jitsu I really wish I had this as a child. I wish I had the confidence to know that I could have protected myself without having to be forced to fight through everything, in addition to this Jiu jitsu has many philosophies that transfer both on and off the mats that develop people personally. One thing for me that correlates is the importance of breathing and working with things and not against them.

I am a proud father of five kids with three kids under five, my four year old son has been having fun doing jiu jitsu for a year now. You know what I notice though even In the parks and playgrounds is how primal bullying and fighting can be for young kids, a few months ago I watched my son engaging in rough play with two kids a couple of years older that began to verge on what could be called bullying, though my son is four he is learning how to navigate these experiences still. I watched the behaviour escalate before my son came to blows with these two kids throwing punches and kicks before I intervened and deescalated it all. My son knew I was in the park and not far away, but I wanted to watch how my son would navigate himself with these sorts of confrontations. When we were walking home, we talked about what happened with those kids and why he doesn’t need to punch and kick anymore if he is feeling threatened because he is learning how to keep himself safe and to remember his Jiu Jitsu. I am sure that with time when and if my son ever finds himself in a similar situation, hopefully never, that he knows how to keep himself safe without needing to hurt the other person either.

My opinion though is one of lived experience personally and as a parent, tertiary education as a criminologist and my professional experience working alongside young people and disadvantaged communities my entire adult career. As such though this is only my opinion and therefore should be treated as such.

My personal reflections and experiences of bullying

As a shy kid, quiet and reserved I was also extremely overgrown. One of those big kids that was almost double the size and weight of most kids in primary school. Being anything ‘different’ at a young age often makes you a target for bullying and being so extremely large but equally as soft made me a target for verbal and physical bullying from a young age for most of my primary school years. i never physically retaliated which often meant it would continue.

At 12 we moved into a highly disadvantaged community, known for juvenile crime and anti-social behaviour, again my size would make me a target and I recall getting jumped for the first time by other teenagers 14-15 years old and getting my face busted up and bleeding for no reason at all, for the rest of year 6 in primary school I was so scared to walk down the main street after school sometimes that i would take the long way almost 40mins out of way to avoid any of the bullies that might try and take me on again all because I was big, didn’t fight back and was new to community.

Amongst all of this, I came from a family background of extreme poverty and disadvantage, many times my family would go hungry and both parents dealt with issues of addiction and mental health.

As time passed, this quiet and shy kid started to get angrier and more comfortable in his body and by the time I started year 7 found I found myself in fights regularly, I got suspended 3 times in the first four weeks of my first high school for fighting and was asked by the principal to leave the school. These fights continued into my next school and violence became very normalized in my community.

By 15 I had left home and was for a short time living in a group home in Kings Cross. Again, in physical confrontations with other young people in vulnerable situations like my own at times feeling unsafe and like it was fight or flight mode at different periods of life.

At 16 a confrontation involving a knife in Woolloomooloo scared me and I walked into the City of Sydney PCYC. I wish at the time I had found Gracie Jiu Jitsu though instead found boxing for what I thought was how to protect myself, following that journey on and off for some years including competing at an amateur level.

It was at this gym when I received the phone call on a Friday night that my sister had been removed from my families care in Redfern, where she would remain a ward of the state up until the age of 18. Among all of this and throughout these years though as a young person i was so angry, although as weird as it sounds the times when i never got into trouble or into a fight strangely also were the times when i was boxing or training, which goes against the common opinion that if we teach people self defense they are just going to go out and attack people, an opinion i have come across many times professionally. I have friends from similar backgrounds in my community that all attest to the same correlation between training self defense and a decrease in crime and/or violence as a young person.

15 years later I find myself back at the City of Sydney PCYC, although the gym I was in when I received the tragic call about my sister being taken away has now been turned into a Dojo, where an awesome community of great people come together to learn, share and grow under the teachings of Gracie Jiu Jitsu.

Reflecting on all these experiences make me a massive advocate for the use of self defense through Gracie Jiu Jitsu in schools and juvenile detention centers to teach young people how to stay safe on the mats and in life. I am a big supporter of anti bullying campaigns but i am more of a supporter of strengths based approaches that provide young people of all abilities with the skills and confidence to keep themselves safe and develop their resilience in youth and throughout life.