Strength in Vulnerability

It was day two of a global three-day workshop, and I was utterly and completely exhausted.

The preparation work had been all-encompassing in the weeks leading up to the event, and last minute changes meant a hectic morning of getting everything ready to address a complex and emotion-filled topic with a team who had never come together before.?

As I stood at the front of the room, ready to launch the conversation, I decided to show all my cards and admit to everyone (with a coffee in hand): “I am just wiped out. How are you all doing?” After a few laughs, and more than a few knowing nods, I continued by sharing some personal stories from my past and actually said aloud, “I’d like to show a little vulnerability...” in order to demonstrate that this was a safe environment. No one was injured in the process and my willingness to admit shortcomings tipped over the first domino of openness and collaboration.?

Although I’d love to think my amazing facilitation (insert sarcasm here) was a turning point for this team, I honestly believe that moment of vulnerability truly made the difference. By simply stating what I was experiencing, I stepped out of my role as facilitator and into my role as a human being - a simple act of reminding everyone in the room that we are all just people.?

The value of vulnerability in leadership is nothing new. For years, experts have?shared studies?that show increased engagement and connection in teams where the leader is vulnerable. Yet despite?now-infamous Ted talks?and more than a few?HBR articles, too few leaders were willing to practice it. Fear of showing weakness and not being in control at all times still causes many leaders to “grin and bear it” rather than “admit and share it.”?

The pandemic continues to evolve how we approach work, and in many ways, it has changed us for the better. Conversations about?mental health, caregiving, and general wellbeing are front and center in ways that are helping us all make better decisions for ourselves and our coworkers. This shift in focus requires vulnerability and strength - sharing more of ourselves, and nurturing an environment where sharing is both encouraged and protected.?

All of this being said, it wasn’t?my?vulnerability that really made the difference - it was the vulnerability modeled by the leader of the organization. Their act of opening up and interacting as a person rather than a CHRO signaled to the team that imperfection is okay and that no one is immune to frustration, exhaustion, or uncertainty.?

At the end of the workshop, participants were encouraged to share their commitments and lessons learned, and I was struck by the openness expressed in their statements. I was also struck by the optimism and resolve I heard as well, which given the amount of work ahead was a bit surprising - and then it hit me. Because they had all been so vulnerable about their concerns earlier, they were equally able to share their optimism and excitement about the work ahead.?

And that’s the real strength.

With warm regards,

— Mark

Founder/Managing Principal/Vulnerable Facilitator, IA

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