Strategies for Navigating Difficult Conversations:

Challenging conversations are an inevitable component of the job. Whether it involves providing negative feedback to a colleague or leading a subpar performance review, it is critical to prepare for these discussions and manage them effectively to achieve a positive outcome. Hayley Hawthrone says, “Communication is the connective tissue between humans, holding the potential to bring us together, create shared understanding, align on and execute initiatives and so much more. At the end of the day, communication is the vehicle for transformation”- John C Maxwell’s book, The 16 Undeniable Laws Of Communication.

Here are some strategies from experts in the field:

Adopt a Constructive Mindset

Jean-Francois Manzoni, professor of human resources and organisational development at INSEAD suggests that, instead of considering these conversations as "difficult," frame them as constructive dialogues. For example, reframe negative feedback as an opportunity for growth. This approach can help to reduce anxiety and increase confidence.

Remain Calm

The more centred we are, the better equipped we will be to manage difficult conversations. Take breaks throughout the day to practise mindful breathing, which can help us refocus and absorb any negative feedback. For example, if a colleague comes to you with an issue that might lead to a hard conversation, excuse yourself —get a cup of coffee or take a brief stroll around the office — and collect your thoughts.

Prepare in Advance

Holly Weeks, the author of?Failure to Communicate says that, before engaging in any conversation, take time to jot down key points and notes. However, avoid scripting the conversation, as it is unlikely to proceed precisely as planned. Instead, be flexible and have a repertoire of potential responses ready.

Acknowledge the Other Person's Perspective

Before initiating the conversation, take a moment to consider the other person's point of view. Ask yourself, "What is the problem, and what does the other person think is the problem?" Show your counterpart that you care, express interest in understanding their perspective, and take time to process their words and tone, says Manzoni.

Show Compassion

Delivering difficult news can often strain working relationships says Manzoni. Approach sensitive topics from a place of empathy, and strive to be considerate and compassionate. At the same time, refrain from becoming emotional or playing the victim. Don’t say things like, ‘I feel so bad about saying this,’ or ‘This is really hard for me to do,’ says Weeks.

Listen and Slow Down

“To prevent tensions from escalating, try to slow down the pace of the conversation. Slowing your cadence and pausing before responding can help to defuse negative emotions. Listening carefully to what the other person is saying will help you to address the real issues and improve the conversation's outcome,” Manzoni recommends.

Offer Alternatives

If a conversation puts the other person in a difficult position or takes something away from them, consider offering something in return. For instance, you could offer a strong recommendation or suggest a viable alternative. Nobody wants problems.” Proposing options “helps the other person see a way out, and it also signals respect,” says Manzoni.

Reflect and Learn

After the conversation, reflect on what went well and what didn't, says Manzoni. Consider why you had certain reactions and what you might have said differently. Weeks also recommends observing others who successfully navigate similar situations and learning from their strategies. ?“Learn how to disarm yourself by imitating what you see,” she says.?Handling a difficult conversation well is not just a skill; it's an act of courage.

Sources:

• Harvard Business Review
• The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication—John C Maxwell