Strategies for happiness (inspired by my teenaged son)

Do...

Have a regular sleep pattern – get to bed before midnight, and sleep for at least 7 hours and no more than 9.

Eat regularly… breakfast, lunch and dinner. Eat real, unprocessed food as much as possible. Avoid too much refined sugar and sugary drinks. Don’t let yourself get too hungry – low blood sugar is a massive mood killer.

Every day get some sunlight, fresh air and exercise – at least ? an hour. Exercise is one of the best things for lifting mood instantly.

Stimulate your brain. Change, novelty and challenge are good for you.

Cheer yourself up with things that are good for you… a warm bath, some uplifting music, listening to a HEADSPACE (or similar app) recording, going out for a walk, having a massage, etc.

When you feel down, it’s probably pointing to something in your life that isn’t working for you. Trust your inner GPS… ask yourself what isn’t helping you, and what you need to change. Then change it.

Become conscious of your thoughts, and replace any that don’t feel good with better thoughts. For example, instead of thinking “I feel really crap today”, swap it for something like “What can I do today to nurture myself and help me feel better?”. Instead of thinking “This situation is hopeless”, swap it for “This situation is temporary, and will soon change for the better”.

As an alternative to the above, dive in to the feeling and explore it. Notice that it’s only an illusion (like Virtual Reality). Stay present in the moment, and ask yourself what your fear is. Recognise that the fear isn’t real – it’s just a thought you are having, and that in truth you are enough, and your needs will always be met.

Make your living space your haven. If you’re not happy with it, change things up. Redecorate. Move stuff around. Keep it clean and tidy. Make your bed every morning. And don’t spend all your time in one room.

Have a good conversation with at least one person a day – friend or family member. We feel better when we socialise (even when we don’t really feel like it).

Set yourself small (or even big) goals… maybe learning something new… maybe starting a daily practice that will boost your health or confidence.

Don’t...

Don’t do the opposite of any of the things above ^

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. You are not required to be perfect or get things right first time, all of the time. Making mistakes is a necessary part of life and of learning. 

Don’t do nothing. Find something constructive to do… something that will keep your mind or body busy. Even if it’s reading something helpful, or listening to an audio book.

Don’t medicate a low mood with drugs and/or alcohol. They are depressants, and leave you feeling much worse later on. They also compromise your mental and physical health.

Don’t criticise yourself for anything – especially for something you can’t change. As long as you are doing the best you can with what you know, you are good enough. 

Don’t think that you should know all the answers and the right moves. No-one does. Many of us find our way through life one stepping stone at a time, and with a fair amount of trial and error – and that’s fine.

Don’t compare yourself to other people. There is no one right way to be, or right time to have achieved something by. We are all different, so ditch all the ‘shoulds’.  Know also that no-one’s life is easy or perfect – even if it looks that way on Instagram. In fact don’t spend too much time on social media!

Try not to let other people or external things bring you down. Happiness is an inside job. Decide how you want to feel about yourself, and how you wish to feel day-to-day, and then stubbornly refuse to let any person or situation spoil this.

Stop thinking back to past situations. They are over and gone. You can’t change what happened, but you can stop living it over and over again. Don’t do that to yourself.

Don’t be unappreciative of the good things you have. You were born pretty perfect. You are loved. You have everything you need – the stuff you haven’t got yet might be the cherry on the top, but it’s not essential to your happiness. 

Don’t worry about what other people think of you. The only person whose opinion really counts is your own. Be the best version of yourself that you can be, and be proud of that.