The Strangers among us
??? Katherine Ann Byam, MBA
The Wisbys Sustainable Business Awards |Sustainability Strategy| Author and Speaker on DEI, ESG & Sustainable Change | ??Global??5% Podcast-Where Ideas Launch Sustainable Innovation| FCCA| MBA |-Views are personal.
On a recent trip to the Netherlands, I took the opportunity to catch up with an old friend. As my partner and I entered my friend’s block of flats, we were greeted by his four-year-old. Mia does not speak English, nor I Dutch, but she confidently led us up to her flat greeting each neighbour with some chat on the way there. I had a feeling we were in a special place.
I learned that they lived in a “Collectief Particulier Opdrachtgeverschap”; a Co-housing community in English. The block, owned by the architect and all the tenants, houses a theatre, a nursery, some small shops, a harbour, a greenhouse and a swimming area. They even have a common studio flat that they let at low prices to guests of the community. They rotate roles and responsibilities for managing various aspects of their collective. Each year, they also publish a book that grants households a dedicated page to share a picture and a story about themselves.
I decided to investigate the concept. It exists in the UK, you can check it out here https://cohousing.org.uk/information/uk-cohousing-directory/.
You can also learn more about it via this 2017 TED talk from Grace Kim. At her co-housing block, its customary for her community to have communal meals, cooked by a member of the community.
https://www.ted.com/talks/grace_kim_how_cohousing_can_make_us_happier_and_live_longer
These communities made me reflect on my flat dwelling experiences in the UK. Opportunities to engage with your neighbours are so rare, that often we do not even recognise them out of context. If you are renting your flat, perhaps your desire to engage is reduced due to the transitory nature of it. This curious behaviour of ours can however contribute to a feeling of isolation and loneliness.
I googled “talking to your neighbours”, and it surprised me to see that the first 3 results were all about how to resolve disputes with your neighbours. In Malcom Gladwell’s book “Talking to Strangers”, he speaks about the decision-making heuristics that make us default to either trust or distrust. We need our biases as they help us navigate the world more easily, but at times this bias can be quite unhelpful. Particularly when it comes to mistrust, as the incidence of untrustworthy people in our day to day lives are typically a small minority. In his book "Thinking Fast and Slow", Daniel Kahneman describes these heuristics as our system 1 and system 2. System 1 is driven by intuition, and system 2 is driven by logic and reason. Often though, system 2 takes the lazy option, and decides to trust the intuition of system 1, not always correctly.
With the knowledge of this, how can we turn our existing flats and building from places where we live in fear of our neighbours, to communities from which we thrive? I welcome your thoughts!
#cohousing #inclusion #community #socialwellbeing #mentalhealth #Coaching
The Wisbys Sustainable Business Awards |Sustainability Strategy| Author and Speaker on DEI, ESG & Sustainable Change | ??Global??5% Podcast-Where Ideas Launch Sustainable Innovation| FCCA| MBA |-Views are personal.
4 年Yes it really shouldn't be as hard as it is to default to trust for the greater good!
Chief Operating Officer (COO) at Health Diplomats Pte LTD
4 年simple things like looking out for those who may be particularly vulnerable, or struggling in some way. A single mum who could do with a 'spare' apple pie on a sunday, or invited round for a coffee with the kids for the company and support. The elderly man who lost his wife - ask him how he is and suggest you both go out for a walk some day - or better he comes round for dinner! The elderly lady who has a terminal illness appreciates a bunch of flowers now and again - these are all things I have done and simple things we can all -do that don't take up much time or energy - but make THE WORLD of difference to others.? I always would and do - encourage others to 'think' about how others are feeling if they were in their shoes. It is very easy to be kind and thoughtful.? Thank you for writing this post xx