The Stranger Things of Business

You did it. You launched your business. You’re feeling pretty damn good about yourself. And you can’t wait to share it with the world, especially your family and friends.

And then, crickets from those you expected the most from.

But the strangers and arm’s length acquaintances you may have on social media, they’re eating it up.

Welcome to a reality that many entrepreneurs face — the strange business of discovering your circle of support.

Launching a business tests your mettle. You need to have a strong backbone. You’ll quickly find out who loves you and who doesn’t (from a business perspective). And so often, it’s people we don’t know at all or barely know who love us most.

What I’ve found in my journey is that many of my friends and family are supportive in the sense that they’ll like and comment on posts of things that I’m doing. And they’re generally supportive and want to hear about what I’m doing. But they actually won’t buy any of the products or services I’m offering.

But they’re not afraid to ask for free advice.

I have hundreds of messages asking from friends, acquaintances, and family asking for Zoom calls to discuss how they can create businesses like mine. But when I created an actual coaching call and some business resources and put them out on the market for them and others to buy, guess who didn’t buy and compensate me for my time and advice?

I’m not bitter or upset by it, it’s just a strange reality. And it’s not unique.

I do believe in giving a lot away for free, but the requests for free advice and meetings is so overwhelming that I’d never have time to get the things done that actually make me money if I honored them all. And that’s not a sustainable business model. So I created other free or low-cost channels for them to get education from me, like my social media accounts and my Medium page. Some engage, and some don’t.

So why is this? Why are those closest to us the most hesitant sometimes to support us or in the ways we’d like for them to support us?

They’re intimidated by your success or potential success

Your friends and family know you a certain way — the way you were before you had this business. When you step into newfound confidence and chase after your dreams, they may be intimidated or think you’ve changed in some way.

And maybe you have, but it’s likely in a good way.

Yet they still may fear that you will fundamentally change or forget about them in the process when you become highly successful.

Remember, these feelings are on them, not you. Don’t dull your ambitions or efforts to make other people comfortable. Some may come around and other may not.

On the other hand, strangers or casual acquaintances don’t know you as intimately as family and close friends. They see you for who and what you are today, so they are less likely to pass judgment on you.

You’re expressing something about yourself that they wish they could about themselves

So many dreams are never realized because people are afraid to step outside their comfort zones and chase them. And when someone in their life builds up that confidence and does it, it can create a tinge of jealousy for those who wish they could do the same but feel stifled in some way.

They may consciously or unconsciously be jealous of you or feel resentful that you are confident and bold and took the steps to overcome your fears and pursue success.

Being around you may be a reminder that you have something they don’t. And that can be painful for some people.

You can’t change the way they feel. That’s on them. So just realize this may come with the territory. And keep moving.

And while there may be some sadness in losing some sort of connection, you’ll make many wonderful new connections, which I can attest to. I’ve made some amazing connections with other entrepreneurs both online and in person. These are people that get me and understand what I’m going through. These relationships are exciting and are an unexpected benefit of entrepreneurship.

They just don’t get it

They may not get it in many ways. In my instance, there are still people who don’t get how I could give up a great-paying full-time job at the university. They fret over benefits. They don’t get it because they wouldn’t give up such security.

So many people are content with living an okay life simply because it offers some sense of security when in actuality, they could have so much more if they took a chance on themselves. So they don’t understand people that have the audacity to give up that security or the prestigious job titles.

Just because they don’t get it doesn’t mean you need to be discouraged. Instead, find new connections through community or online groups who do get you. But create some sort of support system. You’ll need it.

They’re not your target audience

Some may be your target audience and some may not be. I get that it can be frustrating, though, because you’d hope friends and family would buy your book or guide or product to support you. But in reality, many of them won’t. And even the ones who may be in your target audience still might not either. We don’t like hearing that, but it’s the truth, and you must not take it personally. Dwelling on it will only slow you down.

Instead, use your social media channels or even paid advertising to push your products and content out to those who are your audience. Asking friends and family to share on their pages might be one way they are willing to support you. There are people who want and need your products and services. It just may take a little time to find them.

The bottom line is, you can’t change the way people feel. And the way they feel about your new journey and success is on them. You shouldn’t change your plans or dull your excitement about your venture simply to make them feel better.

And some of your friends and family will support you in certain ways. They may want to hear about what you’re working on. Or like or share a social media post. But some of them may never buy what you’re selling if you sell a product or service. It may simply be because they’re not your target audience. But I know that it can still sting because you hope that they’d be doing all they can to support you.

In the end, you choose what the relationships around you look like. If someone is truly unsupportive of your new success and excitement, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship and the role it plays in your life.

There is value in finding support from strangers, so don’t discount that. Hold onto that support and lean on the new connections you’ve made when times in your inner circle get tough.

And most of all, never dull your light because of what others may think. Your light is needed, even if it’s by the people you least expected would need or appreciate it.

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