STRANGER IN MY OWN COUNTRY (3)

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Returning to the UK after many years in France is like visiting a parallel universe where everything is eerily familiar yet profoundly strange. My recent trip back to the land of crumpets and warm beer felt like stepping into a Monty Python sketch—absurd, amusing, and a tad bewildering.

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First off, the accent. I’ve spent decades perfecting my French to the point where I can curse fluently at Parisian drivers and argue over the correct type of cheese for a soufflé. Landing in Manchester Airport my ears were assaulted by the omnipresent Merseyside accent, which, strangely enough, sounded almost foreign. It’s disconcerting to say the least, especially when you’re used to the brusque yet charming directness of the French.?And … nowhere in France do you get called ??My Love?? so affectionately as in the north of England.?

Seldom have I found people so friendly as those I met in the North West of England ..in France we don’t even greet people with ??Good morning?? unless you are hiking at the top of a mountain somewhere ….

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Then there’s the food. After years of enjoying delicate pastries and three-hour lunch breaks involving wine and existential debates, returning to British cuisine was like entering a gastronomic time warp. I found myself yearning for a decent baguette while staring at a spongy piece of white industrial ??bread??. That bread alone was enough to make me question the very fabric of British society.?Eating at people’s homes reminded me that the notion of different courses doesn’t seem to exist?:?they pile on the salad (no sauce) , the cheese, the cold meats, all at the same time.?And no bread, not even that bathroom sponge variety.?

On the other hand, I discovered how easy it is to find delicious international cuisine at almost every street corner, tasty and cheap ??Artisan Pies?? at Powells Pastries , and rediscovered Eccles Cakes.?

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Naturally we discussed the Olympic Opening Ceremony.?I loved it, and so did my UK friends.?But I can’t help thinking that .. it did lack a dose of humour.?The self-deprecating variety that the Brits master so well.

Every conversation with friends I had in the UK was accompanied by gales of laughter.?With the exception of one French friend who has spent many years in the UK (Xavier Lavergne), I really don’t have as many belly laughs in France …

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Ah, the weather. You can’t normally talk about the UK without mentioning the perpetually gray skies and unpredictable downpours. In France, I’ve grown accustomed to summers that actually resemble summer. In Britain, you are so often greeted with the kind of drizzle that makes you wonder if the sun ever existed. It’s as if the UK has a personal vendetta against vitamin D.?

Only this time, my ten days in England were all wonderfully sunny, with the nights refreshingly cool.

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Despite the reverse culture shock, being an expat – at least a British one - has its undeniable perks. Living in France has given me a unique perspective and a funky set of skills. I’ve mastered the art of the French shrug, a powerful gesture that conveys everything from “I don’t care” to “I’m deeply offended.”

Moreover, the expat life has taught me ???????????????????? ?????? ????????????????????????.?I’ve learned to embrace different cultures and customs, blending the best of both worlds. My children are bilingual, effortlessly switching between languages, and my palate has become sophisticated enough to appreciate both a full English and a delicate coq-au-vin.

I am deeply grateful to my adopted country for allowing me to live and work here.

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The expat life is certainly never boring.

So, to my fellow Brits considering the expat life, I say: embrace the strange, and the occasionally baffling. Life is richer when you blend the ???????????????? ???????? ?????? ??????????????.

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