Strange World - A Short Fiction Story
Danish Z. Khan
Founder of BIMTechnik LLC, USA | M.Com, MBA, M.Sc. Marketing (Pursuing) & PMP? | Sustainability & Renewable Energy Entrepreneur | SAP ERP & Data Analytics Expert |
In the isolated jungle...
I was lying on the ground filled with mud and water. When I woke up from my sleep, I found myself surrounded by a strange jungle that seemed like from the outer planet.?
I was crying with the pain as I jumped from the tree when I fell with the parachute.
I cried in a loud voice. Where am I? what is this place? Anybody there?
There was no response at all.?
I cleared the mud from my T-shirts with water falling from the tree that looked like some kind of animal. In the spur of the moment, I heard a grunting sound coming from behind. I turned my face to look at it.?
It shook me from top to bottom as it was something that I had never seen before.
It was a rabbit-like creature; it came to me and stopped, then started eating some vegetables. I tried to touch the rabbit, but suddenly, its whole body moved like a glitch and reacted weirdly. I was shocked and found myself in balance, fell on the tree where I was taking water to clean myself.?
In my wonder, the tree also reacted so weirdly by turning into thousands of tiny butterflies and flowing away from me. I fell to the ground and looked at the newly created butterflies from the tree. They were so colorful and had their unique color, size, and structure different from each other.?
It was strange and unimaginable but enchanting and exquisite.
For a few seconds, I almost forgot about the rabbit. The butterflies were flying in some kind of formation. I stood up and tried to pick one of the butterflies as I couldn't resist myself. When I put one butterfly on my backhand, one giant turtle kind of animal came from nowhere and ate all of the butterflies, then that animal started chasing me as I had the last butterfly on my hand. I started running like a maniac. I turned left to avoid the creature, but it was clever as it did the same. It was trying to eat me alive with its monstrous conical-like-shaped teeth. I ran faster as I could, but the creature was not in a mode to lose its prey.
I saw an elevated rock near the large mud hole. I leaped to the rock and jumped to the branch just above the mud hole. Out of nowhere, the splash of the mud water came from below, opened its canine-like teeth, and tried to eat me, the exact moment the creature from the air attempted its last bit by opening premolars teeth from the left of its mouth.?
It was the time when I saw the hundreds of teeth trying to eat me concurrently.
The mud creature picked up the flying creature with its cave-like mouth and ate it alive. I got lucky by picking up the tree branch with my left hand and hanging it in the air during a very crucial time of my life.
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The unimaginable luck played the game that I almost lost and saved the life of the unluckiest man in the weirdest land.?
The Cave
I cursed the jungle, cleared my cloth, and started walking in the deeper jungle. After passing the few steps, I found the rabbit again hiding in the tree trunks. I tried to catch it, but it slipped from my hand.
When I followed that rabbit, I came across a hole that turned further into a cave.
I went further into the cave and discovered an ancient natural gate leading to another cave, further and further. The cave was old, ancient, filled with webs resembling spiders but thick and robust. It seemed like no human had ever been there before in the cave.
After walking for an hour and so, I saw a circle in the middle of the air. It was a very unusual transparent glass-like circle that was hanging in the air. When I tried to touch the circle, it floated like a bubble. It felt like a mixture of liquid and sticky.?
I tried to put my hand in the circle, and in my wonder, it went inside without breaking it. Instantly I removed my hand as the cave was wet and dry; however, the temperature inside was cold like ice. It almost freezes my hand.
I threw some stone inside it, but nothing came back. I was surprised but curious to know about the circle. The option was limited, and if I wanted to reveal the truth, I needed to go inside; the choices were mine. Take the risk for curiosity or leave it as it is.
I finally decided to take the risk. I managed to grab some big rock so that I could lift myself. I went inside the circle and found the land that was beyond my imagination.?
The wonderland
The temperature was colder than the ice; however, the weather seemed like spring. The tree was blessed with fruits and flowers, and the rivers were cleaner than the crystals. The sky was milky white, the land was greenish-white, and the air was strange as there was no air.?
The strangest thing about the land is that there was no sun in the sky, nor any moon or planets, only the bluish cloud is perfectly aligned shapes.
I found the same rabbit there with his family.
Recent Graduate of Landmark College
5 个月I find this to be quite an interesting story.?There may be a flaw or two,?but interestingly if one looks at it from certain perspectives, the flaws actually add more intriguing merit.? Examples:? There may not have been much decriptive details for the jungle, BUT when the character stated that it was like something from "the outer planet”, that immediately?screamed for a vibe one might expect for a sci-fi setting. There could have been a little more decriptive details for the creatures beyond simple comparisons, BUT?the lack of details conveys a realistic and relatable character, because not everyone is an expert on animals. Also, there’s room for the reader to imagine what the creatures could look like. For example, maybe the “giant turtle kind of animal”is a cross between a snapping turtle and a dinosaur.? What I ultimately love about this piece is how it seems to?combine sci-fi and fantasy elements.
Overall, I think you have done a good job in crafting a unique and imaginative story. With some careful editing, the story could become even more engaging and immersive. Keep up the good work!
IT Support Specialist
1 年This is a very imaginative and creative story with an interesting plot. The author does a great job of setting up the mysterious and unknown atmosphere of the jungle, which adds to the tension and excitement of the story. The description of the creatures and the environment is vivid and detailed, making it easy for the reader to imagine and picture the setting. The use of the natural gate and the transparent circle adds an element of mystery and intrigue to the story, and the author does a good job of building up the tension and anticipation before revealing the wonderland. The contrast between the cold temperature and the spring-like weather in the wonderland is also a nice touch, creating a sense of magic and fantasy. The ending of the story with the discovery of the rabbit and his family in the wonderland is a satisfying conclusion, although it leaves the reader wanting more. The story could benefit from more character development and a clearer understanding of the protagonist's motivations and feelings. Overall, this is a well-written and engaging story that captures the reader's imagination.