"Straight Up" Advice from Gramma
I have never been such a sap, at least not since Terms of Endearment was released on Netflix.
Note: I am not one to cry over frivolities, honest, but level with me: When your pride is bruised and your heart is in a fragile state, it only takes one call from your ultra-chic gramma asking, “How’s the love life?” to completely crack.
Suffice to say, that was the moment that I finally broke.
“I gave him the Paula Abdul 'Straight Up' ultimatum and I haven’t heard from him since,” I sobbed, as I was ripping through my closet, tossing my entire wardrobe in a giveaway pile, save, a few banal cardigans and scarves.
Gramma: “You did what? Honey, you can't give men ultimatums. What does Paula know, anyway?
“Paula is a fantastic dancer," I sniffled, "Besides, Paula isn’t my problem; he likes practical women. All men like practical women, I know they do. I paint my nails red; I talk too much; I wear high heels, animal print, and fringe. Remember when I was dating the Roper? He is married to a very sensible gal now. I accidentally dropped the clutch on his pickup and plowed over his dummy steer; the final straw was when he tried to kiss me and I nearly took out his eye with my bedazzled cowboy hat.”
Kissing
With that, the tears really rolled.
Gramma: “Well, you live and learn. I'll admit that you could've at least picked a better song. Please tell me that you don't wear animal print to the office. How many times have I warned you about that? Savannah? What is that noise? What are you doing?”
“Gramma, I need to be the sensible type; you know, more agreeable and... I don't know, plain. I am really going dial in my driving skills," I reasoned.
"Anyway, I am tossing out everything with rhinestones and trading my pumps for Birkenstocks."
That, my friends, is when Gramma put her Michael-Kors-clad-foot down: “Over a guy? Don’t you dare! I better not ever catch you uttering anything like that again. You'd better not get rid of your Carlos platforms. If you start wearing loafers, then I am going to dump you. Straight up!"
Marketing Strategist | Growing Brands & Scaling Market Share
9 年Gramma does know best! Keep up with these posts, they're very enjoyable and you are doing a terrific job ????
All Steel Fabrication Inc/Native American Owned Firm
9 年Savannah , I agree with your grandmother 100% I do believe we can make changes to improve on our apperance as long as it's a change we choose to do for ourselves not to conform to what we think others will like. Style is a projection of who we are . The post I titled " The President / The Woman " was to show a picture of .."The Woman" who became "The President " of a steel company . At one point in my journey to becoming the President of All Steel Fabrication Inc. , I became confused and changed my apperance to suit what I thought would be more excepted in the industry I'm in , I died my hair brown cut my nails short and stopped painting them and " Yes" stop wearing makup!! The only thing that changed was me, when I looked in the mirror I did not like who I had become . So I fixed that..starting with the hair , polish back on the nails and boy did I have fun buying new makeup. I am a feminine women and love everything that goes with it from the lipstick to shoes. As I stated I became the President of All Steel Fabrication Inc., just because I was the owner did not make me the leader that's something I evolved into and yes "The President is a Woman, I do not half change my apperance or who I am to be the President ,that title I earned. Savannah, I love your stories as you know and you are a beautiful young lady with an enormous amount of talent , your style of delivering a story is fresh , spicy and humorous. I can almost visualize you sitting with your pencil and pad jotting down your story, wearing your badazzeled hat and Leppard print vest :-) "I believe even Will R."would agree."
Senior Counsel: Commercial | Litigation | IP | Partnerships | Product | Scaling Legal at Unicorn startup Branch.io
9 年Had to look up the Paula Abdul 'Straight Up' ultimatum