Storytelling is Way Better than Explaining

He interrupted again.

She walked in late to the meeting.

One team consistently blames another team.

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For leadership, this can often lead to an explanation. We reason. We lay out the ‘reality’ that their behavior has direct consequences in pissing people off. We explain that a certain word is offensive to a coworker. We give them a very reasonable argument for changing their behavior, and watch them nod their heads and agree:??they will try harder, they won’t do it again, and they will do what you ask.

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But seldom does anything change.

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There is an alternative communication/motivation technique that is hardly new. ?It has been used since our species could speak, and it is not only effective, it is delightful:??Storytelling. We are wired for it—literally. The neuroscience is conclusive—we use stories to build our realities and make sense of them. Think about your day—how much of what you said today, was a story???Most of it???All of it???When your spouse asked you about your day, your answer was a story.??When your friend asked about the goings on in Syria or Boulder or Kenya, your answer was a story.

So within the context of leadership—how is this not the go-to leadership tool of our time? Quite simply: fear. We are afraid we won’t know what story to tell. We are afraid we will tell a boring or bad story.?We are afraid people will raise their eyebrows and snicker.

To these fears, I say “there was once a man who was afraid to talk. He was worried about what it would sound like—would he growl???Would he hoot???Would he squawk???But then, one day he saw that a child was about to fall into a trap he himself made to catch coyotes. The child was too far away to reach so he finally called out, “Stop”.?The child stopped.?The child was fine—and this was because of what he had spoken.”

So that was a story. The intention was to get you to get past your fear, reframe storytelling, and then motivate you to open your mouth and speak.?

If you aren’t sure, then try it at home.? Do you have a child? Is your child afraid of the dark??Tell them a story about a mouse who has the same fear and then—because darkness is a part of life—he gets over it.??Just make it up and keep talking until the story it over.?It’s that simple. It doesn’t need to be profound or even insightful. You just need to show your child that you care enough to try.

The same goes for colleagues. We don’t stop being wired for story. What worked when we were children still works: when a lesson is storied rather than explained, we not only listen deeply, but we integrate it.? We make that story a part of who we are. And our behavior changes.?

Tell a story. Explain later, if you have to—but understand that through storytelling, you are speaking their language.?The language of dreams.?The language of possibility.?Plus it is a lot of fun.

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