Storytelling, our obligation to the next generation.

I recently accepted an invitation to attend the 11th Annual Women’s Fund Luncheon of Northeast Tennessee. The organization was founded by a group of strong women that wanted to help make a difference in the lives of low-income women and girls in East Tennessee. The group's energy was palpable, and those in attendance enjoyed hearing from the keynote speaker, Adriana Trigiani.?

Adriana, a New York Times bestselling author of twenty fiction and nonfiction books, was a delight. Her storytelling and ability to play to the crowd were top-notch. I laughed - a lot. But, the artistry of her delivery drove home the importance of women, storytelling, and leadership. Our assignment? Buy a journal and document your stories, so those beyond have a piece of what we have lived.?

So, here it goes. My first attempt at documenting stories from a life well lived that I may pass on.?

In 2022, my family laid to rest my beautiful, energetic, intelligent, witty, life-loving, adventure-seeking, legend-of-a-human - Memaw.?

Legends leave behind an unforgettable impression; they are remembered and cherished. There are all sorts of legends in this world – some extremely famous, some famous in their own circles. They are funny, reckless, original, and sensitive in the proper measures. Becoming one means finding your role, calling, following it, and touching others around you.

The life of a legendary Flavy Todd, most widely known and adored by others as Memaw, was complete.?

The following words are a series of stories spanning the forty years of my life that sum up this incredible woman - and don't scratch the surface of her near century of life. I was honored to reminisce with my cousins to capture and share these with others at her Celebration of Life.?

Remembering Memaw

Her meaning, her purpose, her drive? Family. Memaw was passionate about her family. Her family was the light of her life, and she let us know it 'til the end, and her passion will be felt for generations to come.

Memaw's definition of family was all-inclusive, which is why we are all here today. We are all a part of what Memaw considered family. She would do anything for anyone – no matter the cost. She loved everyone as one of her own from the start – Memaw didn't have in-laws – she had more children, and the spouses of her grandchildren were never spouses – they were her grandchildren.

So, how do her grandchildren see this legend, and how will we pass her wisdom and humor to our children? Through stories, of course. Kipling once said, 'if history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.' Memaw had endless stories to share, and through our experiences with her – we have many stories to share.?

Over the past several weeks, the stories that have been shared have brought much laughter and reflection…but the following words kept appearing repeatedly - loving, elegant, guilt-trip (we will get to that in a moment), easy-going, neighborly, and dedicated.?

Memaw was loving. It is incredible what her smile and heart would do. Memaw was an avid reader - she would consume novels, articles, research papers - you get the idea - at an alarming rate. She was famous for making copies of something she found pertinent to a friend or family member - and then mailing it to them. Some articles were reminiscent of something special in our home state or a mention of someone she knew in the paper, and some were of research papers such as one that linked alcohol consumption to infertility (I am pretty confident every one of her grandkids…and their significant others received a copy of this one!). She had so much love to give and, in return, received so much love. She was proud of her family and friends and documented everything. In fact, a few days ago, several of us circled around boxes and boxes of photographs dating back several generations. Each photo had handwritten notes, in her handwriting, with the full names of those pictured, dates, why the photo was taken - and sometimes even a special message about someone in the photograph.?

Memaw was elegant. This is undeniable. She was always the best dressed, and from our earliest memories to the end – she exuded style and grace. Even while fishing, Memaw would arrive in a carefully curated ensemble. Fishing was one of the favorite activities she would share with her grandchildren – one memory was when we were cane pole fishing and pulled in a nice-sized bass out of Lake Okeechobee. While removing the hook from its mouth, she slipped and pushed it through the top of her arm. (Panic on the face of her grandchildren). It's ok, dears (as she makes the hook through – cuts the barb – pulls it out) …all while smiling!?

Fashion always stayed with Memaw. She looked elegant in head-to-toe Duke sweats with a matching fanny pack (she brought the fanny pack back in style before the luxury brands knew what was happening). And went to all formal affairs in head-to-to-toe style with coordinating accessories.?

Memaw got her energy from those around her. She always wanted to be in the thick of it and was ready for an adventure. Recently, and I mean that in the last 20 years, Memaw was at breakfast and met the Florida Skydive Team. In proper form, they became fast friends, and before lunch, she was on their airplane suited for a tandem jump! Her first ever. She, of course, didn't want to have any of us worry - so she did not share her plan with anyone until she was safely back on the ground. For those of you reading this - this all occurred on her 80th birthday.

She never wanted us to worry and only wanted what was best for everyone around her. Her love for others was undeniable, and because of this, she became legendary for the 'Memaw guilt trip.' And she was so sweet about it. You could be amid childbirth or supporting your spouse through delivery - and Memaw might call to give you her kind words of encouragement – but, in the voicemail, wouldn't fail to leave out 'well, I love you honey – wish you could have answered the phone instead of it going to voicemail.'?

And even though she was pretty good at a guilt trip, she was one of the most easy-going individuals. Anyone who spent time with Memaw knows her easy-going nature led to an incredible sense of humor. She was full of one-liners and was down for anything at any time. Football game – in. Mel Brooks movie – in. Offshore fishing at the age of 90 – in. Clubbing in NYC after a show – obviously in. The stories of her easy-going nature are without bounds. Like reading, Memaw was also a fan of music. One trip included a fabulous stop at a show on Broadway, followed by – what some of us on that trip would have guessed would have been back to the hotel for bed – but not Memaw. She wanted to go out. So, out she went. Upon arriving at an NYC hotspot, she graciously asked the waitress for three fingers of Glenlivet straight up and to 'please turn the music down; I am here with my granddaughters.' How did the club respond? They turned the music down. Legendary!?

We have so many stories like this that we all recall of her - and, as you can tell, she never wanted to miss out on spending time with us. Even when Memaw became tired of the volume levels of all of us cackling - instead of going to bed, she would casually turn down her hearing aids to still enjoy the company - but in her own way.?

Memaw knew everyone. She was the friendliest and warmest person in the world, and each of you is her closest friend today. She was the Queen of Belle Glade and Pahokee. She quickly won that title in Micanopy before moving to Jensen Beach. And I am sure that each of you can think of a story where Memaw invited a perfect stranger to dinner (at your home) after meeting them at the grocery store only moments before. Or, maybe you were driving her somewhere. She asked you to stop and chat with a group of perfect strangers –?only to roll down her window and ask for the Pahokee/Glades Central game score. Or, maybe you have had a conversation with a seemingly random individual on an airplane, only to find out through chat that they, indeed…knew Miss Flavy.?

Memaw loved life; she loved her family, friends, pets, and nature. No matter the situation she was presented with or how challenging, she overcame it.

Memaw taught us that no matter what happens if you remain calm and cheerful, you can overcome it. Lessons like that made her a legend, which will resonate with us for the rest of our lives.

We all have roles in life. What is yours? Will you be remembered for it years from now when you are gone? A legend leaves behind an unforgettable impression on others. They touch lives, they're recognized, and they're cherished.?

As we all have had the honor of knowing Memaw, she will go down in history as being a loving and elegant woman who was dedicated to her friends and family – but would not hesitate to take you and everyone around you on a guilt trip - and we wouldn't have had it any other way.

Rest well, Memaw. Your legacy will live on through the many lives that you impacted.