Storytelling - Connection

Last week, among other things, we discussed why are stories so important, why humans think in stories and who are the key characters in a story.

Recall that the 3 main characters in a story are the Hero (the audience), the Light figure (the story teller) and the Shadow (the obstacle, internal or external) that the hero is looking to overcome in order to be truly heroic.

As a Storyteller you need to be a credible Light Figure and to do that you need to connect with your Hero on multiple levels. Only then you can help your hero overcome the shadow. That will be our focus today, i.e. how you connect deeply with your audience such that they allow you to make change they are seeking.

From evolutionary standpoint, all of us are trying to do three things from the beginning of time:

Survive (in the world)

Connect (with those that are around us)

Rise (in status/ranks in our groups)

Survival is the most basic so we won’t focus on it here because hopefully you won’t kill your audience by your story. Connect and Rise in status is of ?interest to us so let's explore Connect first.

Connection (and belonging)

Connecting with others is part of our DNA. Humans started forming small tribes in order to get protection, food, shelter and other basic necessities of life. There are survival benefits in being part of the tribe. When we become part of a tribe that is an indication that the tribe will take care of us and at the same time other tribe members will not feel threatened by us.

So what? Why is this important in Storytelling? That’s because once we are connected with someone it is so much easier to influence them (positively). It is lot more easier to talk and influence someone in your tribe than someone who is not. Your audience will not be threatened by what you are prosing if you are well connected with them. As Seth would repeatedly say, People like us to things like this.

You need to Connect with your audience in order to help them as a light figure to show them you understand them and align with who they are.

So how do you Connect with your audience? You need to figure out 2 things about your hero/audience:

1.????Their Identities

2.????Their Values

1. Determine your audience’s (multiple) identity(ies), i.e. which social groups they belong to

?We all identify ourselves to be different groups in our social circle. If we know it or not, we all do it. These identities are fluid and many and change overtime.

And how do you figure out someone's identity? Generally, statements with "I am..." tell you what group a person belongs to. If feasible, you can give your audience a sheet of paper with 10 lines of "I am _____" and have them fill it out or you can do it for them because I know, at least in B2B situation, it is not so easy to have people fill out papers.

For me, I live in San Francisco, I am a big Warriors fan, I grew up in Karachi, I am a husband, a brother, a traveler, a wannabe mathematician, love to eat, business development professional in tech, etc. etc.

These different identities give me a complete sense of who I am and where do I belong in the world. It is very easy for me to connect with anyone who has interest or experience in one or many of these groups. Imagine me talking to someone in Japan about Warriors or meeting someone in SF who just got back from Karachi. I will connect with them right away and will be willing to listen what they have to say than someone with whom I do not have an “identity connection”.

Also, as an example, take a look at some of the Subaru ads and you will see that they are trying to Connect with multiple identities of their customers (hero/audience), i.e. outdoorsy people, pet owners and parents. All of these identities can easily be part of a single person and Subaru is not pigeonholing their customers in one bucket of people who just like to go to Yosemite or Tahoe on the weekend. Same person will be doing multiple different things during the week and will be part of multiple other social groups

2 Determine your audience values

Once you know the hero's identity or the social groups he/she belongs to you need to figure out what values this group aspires to which is the reason your hero is part of this group.

How do you do that? Some of the statements that will help you figure out your hero’s values are:

a)????I pride myself on…

b)???I’d never allow myself to…

c)????I’d never forgive someone who…

Again, you can ask your customer these things directly or answer them for your customers. These answers will explain what behaviors and characteristics your customer/hero/audience values and hopefully you can craft your (product) story around these values.

You don’t have to be fake here. If you are targeting a certain set of customers than hopefully you are building products that align with similar values as your customers. You want to build an authentic story that relates your product to your audience.

For e.g. Apple has always been appealing to (or at least used to) change makers, rebels and creatives when they tell stories of their products. In turn, their customers feel that Apple's products help them achieve this goal and display these values to themselves and the world when using Apple products.

Interestingly enough, I just started reading Build by Tony Fadell and he explicitly talks about the importance of Storytelling in his career and the products that he worked on. One of the main Storytelling point he makes is that you need to appeal to your audience's emotional and rational sides in order to connect with them. I think the values piece is critical to emotional part.

Conclusion

In summary, Connection gives you Credibility as a light figure (story teller) to your hero (audience). Sharing identities and values with your audience will give you deep tribal connection and your message will resonate lot more than if you did not connect with them.

And, key to understanding the identities and values is empathy which comes from asking questions, listening and understanding them deeply. This will also help you give insights into what problems your hero is trying to solve. We'll talk about that in the last piece of this series.

I will talk about the importance of the "Rise in Status" next because just Connection with our tribal group is not enough. We need to rise in status in our groups in order to differentiate ourselves form others which is again key to human beings.

Until then, be good!

Fawad Khan, July 17th 2022