A story on running your own race

Maitland parkrun 104, NSW Australia, Trail

This morning, as I ran through the beautiful woodland trails of Parkrun at Maitland, I noticed someone about half a kilometre ahead of me. He seemed to be running a little slower, and that gave me a boost of confidence. "I’ll catch up with him," I thought. So, I began pushing myself, faster and faster, closing the gap with each change of direction on the trail. Before long, I was just 100 feet behind him, and with determination, I lifted my knees, picked up the pace, and passed him.

Inwardly, I felt a surge of victory. "I beat him!" I thought, but then, something shifted in me. I realised that in my effort to outdo him, I had lost focus on what really mattered. I had let the competition cloud my mind. I was coughing and spluttering, my breathing was erratic, my form was off, and I was running all over the course—head down, stumbling over sticks and roots. Awful. I had become so consumed by the goal of passing him that I had missed the entire point of my run.

I wasn’t running my own race. I had lost the peace, joy, and clarity that usually come with running. I had missed the beauty of the green landscape, the tranquillity of the water, the rhythm of my breath, and the calm that running usually brings. And when I crossed the finish line, my performance reflected it: 25:25, 44th overall out of 259 runners, down to 8th in my age group—far below what I was capable of.

Amongst my Aussie companions, it was a humbling moment, and I reflected on how I was a Parkrun tourist from the other side of the world in Manchester. It made me realise something crucial: isn’t this what happens in life when we focus too much on competing with others? We spend so much time trying to outdo our co-workers, neighbours, or friends, striving to be better, faster, more successful, that we lose sight of the real journey. We get so caught up in the race to be ahead that we miss the beauty right in front of us—the happiness in our own lives, the peace in our own path.

The truth is, there will always be someone ahead of you. Someone with a bigger house, a better job, more success, or a seemingly perfect life. But here’s the lesson I learned: You can only be the best version of yourself when you stop competing with others and start focusing on your own race.

Emotional intelligence teaches us that life isn’t about defeating others. It’s about understanding ourselves—knowing what drives us, what brings us joy, and being aware of how comparison distorts our reality. When we tune into our own emotional responses, we find that our drive to compete is often fuelled by insecurity or fear of not measuring up. But when we shift our focus inward, we find peace in the progress we're making and the lessons we’re learning along the way.

Unhealthy competition is a thief of joy. It robs us of the contentment and fulfilment that come from walking our own path. When we compare ourselves to others, we miss out on the blessings that are uniquely ours. We stumble, we trip, and we lose control, just like I did on that run today. The irony is that we often compete with people who don’t even know we’re in the race. Like the runner ahead of me, they aren’t concerned with us, but we let them dictate our pace, throwing ourselves off course in the process.

What I realised today is this: there is no competition in destiny. Each of us is on a unique journey, and no one else can run the race that’s been set out for you. Your pace, your path, your milestones—they are yours alone. And when you embrace that, when you run your race with joy and purpose, the need to compare and compete fades away. You begin to realise how blessed you are, how much potential you have, and how fulfilling your own journey can be when you stay focused on it.

It’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of comparison, but here’s the key: You don’t have to beat anyone else to be great. Your greatness lies in being the best version of yourself. When you stop measuring yourself against others, you find that the race you’re running is already full of purpose, joy, and meaning. You begin to notice the small victories, the progress you’ve made, and the beauty of your own journey.

Comparison kills the joy of living your own life. It blinds you to the wonderful things you already have, the unique gifts you possess, and the opportunities that are in front of you. But when you let go of the need to compete, you open yourself up to true happiness, peace, and fulfilment.

So, today, I encourage you to stop chasing someone else’s race. Focus on your own path. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Recognise that your journey is just as valuable, just as important, and just as beautiful as anyone else's.

Run your own race. A race that leads to inner peace, joy, and a steady, fulfilling life. Because the real victory isn’t in beating others—it’s in becoming the best version of yourself, one step at a time.

DS