The story about redefining success – Retro-March Edition

Hello My Dreamers,

I believe that wellness and wellbeing are inextricably interwoven with our definition of success, but not in the ways you would imagine.?In our culture today, our standard is to sacrifice wellness and wellbeing for success, “a sacrifice made at the altar of success,” if you will.?We worship the role, the reputation, the financial gain we make from success rather than holding our bodies in such regard that we would do anything to keep them healthy and well, joyful and fulfilled.?

Most of us take better care of our cars than our bodies.

And I don’t just mean going to the gym and having a fit physique because that is actually NOT my whole definition of wellbeing even though physical health is a small piece of it (more on my definition of wellbeing another day).

And why is it that we don’t care for our bodies???Because in western philosophy we value the mind over everything else. Our minds are what set us apart. Our minds are the thinking piece of our bodies that make us human. Blah, blah, blah…

Have you spent time in your own mind lately?

I’ll bet you that it’s not a super pleasant place to be. Oh sure, sometimes it has some gorgeous creative ideas, but I would bet most of the time it’s telling you you’re not good enough. That your colleague is doing better...or your neighbor or really anyone else that you might come into contact with (especially on social media) is more successful, more organized, more in love, more joyful...you get it.

I’ll bet that your mind criticizes you for the way you handle money or your kids or your drinking or eating or anything else where you feel not good enough.?

?Because I know mine does. It's a core wound many of us carry around. And is that really what we should value most? Above all else? This ego mind that treats us so poorly we would never say those things to our partners or closest friends. Because we don’t believe it about them, but we’ll certainly believe our own mind about us.?

What happens in those glorious moments when you can get out of your head???

Those fleetingly quiet moments when you’re present and witnessing beauty or awe and/or you’ve dropped into your breath or your movement enough that the ego mind falls away for a time. Again, I’ll make you a bet that you find peace, even if it’s only for a few moments.?

What would happen if we were to prioritize the wellbeing of our bodies? We might be able to find that peace more often. And we might be able to find our way to wellbeing through a practice in our bodies and, I know this is really radical, redefine success based on the wellbeing we feel in our bodies instead of our minds.?

I know, I know, it’s a crazy concept. But is it really?

Is it so crazy to consider prioritizing peace inside ourselves over all else? Peace with ourselves begets peace with our family and friends and, in turn, peace with our neighbors and the rest of the world. To quote John Lennon, “You may say, I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

You see, I believe that at its core, peace is about connection.

And at its core, connection is about nervous system regulation. When we practice finding peace in our bodies, we practice regulating our nervous systems. When we regulate our nervous systems, we feel a sense of safety and connection with others. When we feel a sense of safety and connection with others, we can recognize when they are dysregulated and we can makes efforts to co-regulate with them.

We find connection through our bodies, not our minds. Our bodies can feel safe and connected if we do the work to get out of our heads and into our bodies to understand our own traumas and experiences that have created dysregulation and disconnection from others in the first place.?

I'll be sharing more about this idea that the next "technology revolution" may come through our connection to our own bodies, rather than some piece of external technology, as well as my philosophy on wellbeing in my upcoming newsletters. So stay tuned. And in the meantime...

What can you do for yourself today to create more wellbeing (and peace) in your body and mind??