The Story of Mara: Born 10-18-1996 and She Died 10-19-1996

This past weekend would have been my ONE and ONLY daughters 28th Birthday. I sat quietly this weekend with beautiful weather outside and my four-legged pooch who I almost lost a month ago. He is close to stage 4 kidney disease right now and my heart is broken over this news. Let me start by saying this, no parent wants to have their child die before they do. I repeat, no parent wants their child to die before they do.

I was a high-risk pregnancy at the time, but I wanted that baby so bad because I waited to get married and have children in my late 20's like my parents expected me to do. I left home when I was 17, so I literally had been working hard and paying my own bills up until my 1st marriage before my 1st pregnancy. She came so quickly that day, and I felt so out of control. My family and my husband at the time, were all traveling. My next-door neighbors called the ambulance after I knocked on their door, ready to pass out and got me inside the ambulance and to the hospital.

I do not remember much after that; I just remember waking up to an empty belly and a doctor walking in the room like he had been sweating and told me, Mara was not o.k. At the time, when he was talking to me, I had not given her a name, but my family was finally there, and we all went to the room of high-risk babies, watching her in the incubator. My mom was like, this reminds me of you, when you were born this early at 23.5 weeks. You almost died.

I reached up and put my finger, through that plastic hole and that little girl, grabbed my finger, I almost passed out from so much joy and pain all at the same time. My babies face so beautiful on one side and very bruised on the side. The nurse that was caring for her was crying her eyes out, telling me over and over, I am trying to save her. She is so precious, so beautiful but so tiny. Twelve hours later, Mara died, and I literally wanted to die with her. This is all I can write right now. I will tell more of the story one day. As a 58, year old childless woman who wanted children but had many difficulties back then and boy was I was mad at GOD! I cannot tell a lie, but I am not anymore.

I am sick to my stomach about what these "silly ass politicians" are doing to regulate womans bodies in healthcare right now. I am a registered independent. I do not agree with all this confusion about how to control women, pregnancies, and the care they need while pregnant, locking up doctors, and scaring people to death if you help them. My question is, are we regulating men's penises? I am really exaggerating to make an absolute point.

I am not saying I agree with abortions as a method of birth control. What I am saying is, people in suits and stupid dresses in power, are trying to make crazy decisions for each woman out here in these streets, for their own bodies and it is just not right. On the flip side, if this was me back in 1996, having to deal with the current environment in 2024, that means I would have had to carry my baby in my belly until I was septic, and she may have died inside of me, and possibly I may have had to die before anyone would give me care. Read again and again and ask yourselves, does this make any sense to you?

Look, I miss my baby! It took me until I was age 43, to get over all of that whole idea that I was not a biological mother. God has since shown me that I can serve my life and help people in other capacities by mentoring and sharing my life's truths. I am not a MINDSET MENTOR for everybody, but I am for somebody who needs to get beyond major losses, divorce, and a ton of "mindset adversity" and grab their own dreams by the balls like I have and do some MINDSET SHIFTS and CHANGE.

If I did not do this, I want to tell you the truth, by now, l would be in sitting a rocking chair somewhere very sad, and brain dead without an INFRARED VISION. But with GOD, that is not the case with me today. I am not only surviving, but I am thriving by my own standards. I want to pray for those who are challenged right now, to turn the corner and do the same and thrive.

The rest of Mara's story will be written at a later date. Someday, I want to explore in writing, what I think it would have been like to have been "her mother" so stay tuned; it may be on the best seller bookshelves when you least expect it. I miss you Mara, mommy loves you. You were 100% my beautiful and loving GOD BLESSED ROSE! ??

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