Story Development Tip: Using "But" in Your Premise

To lift your story concept, reply PREMISE.

The most important and most difficult part of creating a story is developing its premise or concept. Most films, television shows, and novels that fail do so because their premise was not developed deeply, originally or dramatically enough. Following is one simple technique to help you develop stronger story concepts.

Consider this example of a simple story premise:

An ambitious teen desires to become a world class ballerina, BUT she weighs 300 pounds.

The first half of this premise statement conveys the protagonist’s goal, while the second half of the statement contains her main obstacle or problem. The BUT that joins these two statements makes it dramatically (and grammatically) clear that these two ideas are in conflict. This “but” helps the writer focus on creating a big conflict (or contradiction) in his story.

Following is an example of a more complex story premise, for the classic novel?(and film) The Prisoner of Zenda?by Anthony Hope:

To save the life of a kidnapped and weak king, a heroic and honourable English gentleman, who looks exactly like the king, impersonates him BUT falls madly in love with the king’s fiancé, a courageous princess.

The first half of this premise again conveys the protagonist’s main goal, while the second half states the great complication, twist, and conflict against that goal. That is, while impersonating the king he wishes to save and support, the Englishman falls madly in love with the king’s fiancé. The English gentleman is now in a terrible conflict between his two highest values (honor and love). This conflict is made dramatically clear by the word “BUT”.

To emphasize the point:

The “BUT” clearly shows that the protagonist is in a terrible dilemma he must struggle with and resolve during the story. His first big honourable goal is to save the king, but an ironic and related?consequence?of him struggling to attain this first goal is his second BUT goal and problem: Wanting to love and marry the princess who is engaged to the king he is rescuing. These goals are mutually exclusive!

Using BUT in a premise statement, clearly focuses and essentializes in a writer’s mind the contradictory and terrible internal conflict of a protagonist. Because, for instance, the Englishman in The Prisoner of Zenda can’t attain both goals this story premise is intriguing and dramatic. We the audience are desperate to know what he chooses. The word “but” makes this conflict and dilemma especially clear and strong.

The protagonist in The Prisoner of Zenda having an internal conflict makes this a more layered and emotional story. Many writers could create a fine adventure story about an Englishman saving a king from kidnappers, which is the main plot line of this novel and film. But that is just a one-layer story of action and intrigue.

By adding the second layer of the hero’s internal conflict,?The Prisoner of Zenda?is now also a drama and a love story. That is, it is now a deeper story interesting to a wider audience. This explains why?The Prisoner of Zenda?is considered a novel and film classic and is so popular.

Actionable Creative Tips

To help you develop a more compelling and layered story premise, ask these questions:

Click here to read for free 6 practical tips of how to improve your PREMISE with "BUT".

I help writers, producers, directors, and creative executives develop their story concepts. Reply PREMISE.