The Story of the Chinese Farmer and Taylor Swift: How to Handle Bad News

The story of the Chinese farmer, also known as Sai Weng Shi Ma, is an ancient Taoist parable popularized by Alan Watts, the Buddhist philosopher who lectured on Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism. The story tells of a Chinese farmer who loses his horse, and the villagers declare, "What bad luck!" The farmer simply replies, "Maybe."

I couldn’t help but think of this story when I had tickets to take my teenager to that Taylor Swift concert. You know the one—that one in Vienna. The one that wasn’t meant to be (thankfully, because I do value everyone’s safety over a glitter-infused hours-long extravaganza of my teenager’s wildest dreams).

Scary - however, I’m genuinely thankful for the quick-acting police and the wise decision-makers who prioritized our safety, along with Taylor’s, and the city of Vienna’s. But... it was disappointing. And even more gut-wrenching was being the one to deliver that heartbreaking news to my daughter—a mega-amped, glitterized Swiftie who hasn’t even started high school yet. Disappointments strike just as hard in "real life" as they do in the corporate world. But whether it’s a canceled concert or a project falling through, I’ve found that the best way to break the bad news is first take a deep breath and work through the following steps:

It blows. Acknowledge feelings. Don't sugarcoat it. Don’t pretend it’s a blessing in disguise (even if, in my case, it kind of was). Disappointments hurt, and glossing over them will only make you seem out of touch. We all wanted to scream along to Cruel Summer, and saying "Well, it's probably for the best" doesn’t make anyone feel better in that moment.

Be honest. Say what’s really happening. Be clear, be direct, and don’t add fluff. Whether it’s, "We won’t meet the timeline under the current circumstances," or, "Taylor isn’t going to sing tonight," people appreciate straightforwardness. Adding padding just prolongs the sting.

Don’t drag it out. The moment you realize that your client’s (or your teenager’s) expectations won’t be met, communicate it. The only thing worse than getting bad news is realizing everyone knew before you. Plus, delaying robs you of the chance to figure out the next steps together.

Offer up options. While the outcome might be inevitable, you’re a thoughtful person who has probably considered alternative directions. For example, “We can either meet the deadline with an 80% product, or we can increase the budget and bring on two more resources to get to 95%.” Or, in my recent case, “Since we can’t see Taylor, how about we go shopping or have a fancy dinner and try some virgin mojitos? How about a new dress or a three course meal with a few mocktails?”

Give your recommendation. After presenting the options, don’t forget to guide towards a decision. Let the people involved know what you think is best and why. “I recommend meeting the 80% goal and planning for another sprint later because onboarding new people might slow us down.” Or, in my case, “I recommend getting the dresses (yes shopping therapy works on a 13-year old), because we’ll probably end up going to a restaurant later, and let’s face it, I can’t say no to you, my sweet daughter.”

So bad news is scary; maybe it was meant to happen, no matter how bad the news is, everyone will appreciate the circumstances around bad news, but getting a heads up, and a path to move forward is crucial. Also, I was politely reminded that the Eras Tour isn’t over yet.