The story about the Business Divorce - February Edition
Sarah Waylett
Chief Experience Officer @ Center for Innovative Leadership - ex-Innovation Evangelist @ Accenture - Human-centered, Design Thinking Facilitator - Mindfulness Mentor - Burnout Expert - Wellbeing @ Work Speaker!
Hello My Dreamers,
Three years ago, I was signing paperwork to turn my part of a beloved business over to my business partner.?It was a heartbreaking process just as emotionally charged as any marriage divorce, except that this was with one of my closest friends at the time.?But let me go back and start at the beginning – when I found dance movement as a practice.?
I was having a massage and the therapist said to me gently, “You have a lot of anger in your liver.”?
“Hell yes, I do,” I told her, I was having trouble in my marriage at the time (we’ll save that story for another day).?She finished the massage and when she was checking me out, she handed me a card.?“I think this could help.”?I looked at it.?It was for a dance movement practice and the class was that night.?I was kid-free, so I thought, “Why not?”
Little did I know I was walking into a practice that would change my life.?And it was there, that I met Sara, my teacher.?She was beautiful from the inside out, and moved with ease, and took up space in a way I didn’t know how.?I so very much wanted to feel like that.?I went on a journey into myself that night and came out a different person.?And then I did it again, week after week, dancing my way back to myself and into a deeper friendship with Sara.?I stayed late, I cleaned up, I imagined what it could be like to teach people to get into their bodies like she did.?
And then I heard the message, loud and clear, that this was a path I could take as well.
I started teacher training and again spent more time with Sara.?And in the process, we started to share our dreams of bringing women together in a community space that would redefine the way they worked, played, and grew.?We would offer co-working during the day and classes at night, office space for healers and community events that nourished everyone involved.
I had never felt to much a part of a community as I did then.?
Sara was a master at bringing people together and I was learning so much about myself in the process.?I wanted to bring this dream into reality and so I dove in heart and soul.?I invested my energy, time, and money to bring the idea to life with Sara.?We found a space, created the model for the business, curated beautiful brand messaging and logo art and started to gather women in community to bring the idea to life.
Through that process I used all my Dreamgarten tools, I just didn’t call them that at the time. We tapped into our intuition through dance movement and brought it to life using design thinking tools.?It was magical to see my tools bringing this purpose-driven business to life.?And then, we were ready to launch.
I was a part of something so much bigger than myself and what we were creating was so beautiful, and yet, something inside me didn’t sit right.?I was struggling because from the outside, this journey looked exactly like what I had imagined it would, and yet, on the inside I felt trapped.?I fought with myself over this feeling for quite some time as I continued to bring this business into the world.
Why did I feel like I was drowning when I was creating what should have felt like a lifeboat?
When I danced with it, and you know I mean that literally, it turned out I was concerned about being tied to a place that I had to show up to every day, when I had spent 15 years working from home with the freedom to roam and travel when I wanted to.?I was not aligned with my business partner about some of the ways we were giving away our services, rather than charging nominal fees that would enforce the value to both the provider and the receiver.?And deep, deep down, I began to wonder if this dream was really mine to begin with, or if I had gotten caught up in the excitement and fervor with which my friend and teacher was pursuing it.
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Now, please know that I’ve never really seen myself as a brave person, although people have told me so.?I’ve made decisions to follow my heart my whole life, sometimes to the dismay of those around me.?And so, after working so hard to bring this vision to life, I sat down with Sara and told her I couldn’t go on.?I felt so strongly that the business was meant to be hers.?And I had my own business idea I wanted to pursue in Dreamgarten.?I knew in my heart that committing myself to the business was not the right thing for me.?Being tied to a place felt like suffocating and I couldn’t bear to go through with it, even for her sake.
?I lost her that day.?
And I lost the community and friendships that came along with her.?Not only was I exiting a business relationship, but I exited the whole support system that Sara had built and then I had helped to grow.?I lost my connections to my hometown. I lost my connections to my Qoya dance movement teacher sisters.?It felt like I had lost the very foundation beneath my feet.?And yet…it turns out I was beginning a whole new journey to come home to myself which I’ve started to share with you.?
As always, I made a little video with a Design Thinking tip for you on Reframing Problem Statements using How Might We? questions.?Find it on my YouTube channel here!
PS Quick reminder…that new offering I promised would be ready in January??Stay tuned this Spring for something more from me!
You can also check out my latest podcasts, features and videos below:
Author, Substack writer and therapist
1 年Well said, Sarah. Thanks for sharing!
Appreciate the share and the story here. Having met Sara and seeing the friendship between you, I can appreciate the significance and loss. Our mutal friend Kate Horner (She, Her) was the first person to introduce me to the well worn expression that, " people are with us for a reason or a season". That has helped guide me through some of the more difficult losses, when friendships and business partners have moved on.