A Story of Breaking Free from Expectations and Constraints

Growing up, I was the son of an ad man (think Mad Men). From the age of 13, I learned all of the ins and outs of the business. When I went to college, my goal was to finish first in my major, land a killer job, and make lots of money. In my mind, I already knew the business and just wanted my graduation certificate. But, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t get to the top. While my grades were decent, my professor was critical of my work. It seemed the harder I tried, the worse I did.

One day, he took me out to lunch. I’ll never forget him telling me he could see my father’s influence all over the place. My work, according to my father, had to be sellable in the real world. He was wrong. The whole point of college, my professor explained, was to explore—to be creative, unconstrained, think big, and deliver great work.

I’ll never forget what he said to me. “Allow yourself to succeed.” What the $%@! does that mean? His explanation made a lot of sense. My eyes were only focused on being the best. I measured my work in terms of how far it would get me in reaching my goal. I was listening to my father, because he was the best. But what I was doing was merely a “means to an end.” If you’re not familiar with this term, it means you’re doing something because you believe it will help you achieve something else, even if you don’t enjoy or value it by itself. Put another way, you consider it necessary to suffer through those things in order to accomplish your goal.

Over the course of lunch, he explained that by focusing so hard on my ultimate goal, I was preventing myself from achieving it. I wasn’t being creative, I wasn’t doing anything new, and I wasn’t enjoying myself. He explained that if I relaxed, listened, allowed my creativity to shine, and did the things I really enjoyed, successes would come to me—instead of me chasing after the goal. “You can prevent your own success,” he said to me. “And you’re the only one that can allow it to happen.”

That’s when I had the light bulb moment. I finally understood what he meant.?

I ditched my father’s advice. I became a creative wild man and submitted crazy ideas that would never see the light of day in the real world.

And I succeeded.

In the end, I received an academic award of excellence from the university (and money), an autographed work of art from one of the most well-known advertising executives in the U.S. and was offered a job at one of the top advertising agencies in New York.

When I mentor young professionals or up-and-coming leaders, I give the same advice—and get the same puzzled look.

Do you need to build or optimize a high-functioning digital marketing or innovation department? Contact Kurt Mueller and let’s have a conversation.