The story behind this stain will surprise you

Why am I writing about a mascara stain on my cardigan? It has been there for over two years after all. This says at least two things that are completely true about me:

1. I own too many grey cardigans if I can happily not wear it for so long
2. My dry cleaning is clearly overdue

As you would expect, behind this teeny stain is a story. This is not my mascara, but came from someone I used to employ - lets call her Lindsay. Her performance had been slowly getting more erratic, and she needed more support to hit her targets. Every conversation about what might be going on behind the scenes was rebuffed. For months. And then one day a crack appeared in her armour which quickly turned into a torrent. I'm not sure how many hours I hugged her over how many weeks as we supported her to tell her story of domestic abuse.

It came to a head on a day when she started fainting in the office at the prospect of talking to her parents about what she was facing. This day is one of my proudest as a leader, even as it ended with hours in A&E, ambulances, and the ultimate arrest of her husband. I didn't deal with it on my own, and the staff who helped were magnificent. But they didn't know what I did - that our company future was doomed and the business would shut in less than six highly traumatic months.

They say it is lonely at the top, and even though I worked in a family business I felt it that evening. Events, both immediate and in the bigger picture were out of my control, and I needed to step up like never before. But once I dropped Lindsay off at her parents house after midnight, and briefed them of what was happening, I had the rest of my drive home bawling my eyes out both for her and for me.

We were there for her the day they arrested her husband, three of us camping out at her house to keep her safe and supported, helping her look after her children and making sure she came to no harm. And I loved my staff who dropped everything on a Friday night to help out, and my husband who did not bat an eyelid. And then in the days, weeks and months afterwards, supporting her to work with the police, listening to her when the charges were dropped, making her eat, helping her find her feet.

This was at the same time as my own anxiety stress and misery at the business situation got out of control, leading to an anxiety attack on a train and trips to A&E with a staff member where I couldn't say what had gotten me into that state.

How does this relate to me now? When I spotted the stain I went straight back to that point in time - my lowest, but I also had a compulsion to tell the story. I don't employ staff at the moment, but the work I do is all about helping businesses be more profitable and happier places to be. I can do this work confidently because I have been there and done it - becoming Managing Director of a multi million pound business at 35, doubling it's turnover and profits in the first five years of being in charge. Then responding to changing market conditions to shrink it back down again while preserving the profit margin.

These skills and experiences are highly relevant to today's market conditions where we are all scrabbling about either growing rapidly or forcibly shrinking. Having a great team is a necessity, as is great data to help you make informed decisions. As a Business Advisor I can help with both - bringing state of the art tools, and a massive dose of common sense, tons of drive and a business partner who is an IT God.

The lesson from this? Keep asking the annoying questions when you can see someone is struggling. You are not imagining it, and they will open up when you have built the trust. Concerned you can't handle it? I think you will surprise yourself with how strong you can be when you need to be.

Feeling like you are drowning? Ask for help - from your GP, mental health support workers, a business coach, your family. It is amazing the difference it makes when you find the right person to support you - for me it was a Career Coach who picked me up and helped patch me back together - the right person is out there, they just might not have an obvious job title. And two years later I have a lovely little business doing work I love, clients who have thriving businesses in part because of me, big dreams, and a cardigan with a stain with a lot of meaning.

If you would like to know more about how I can support you go to our website at https://www.be-astute.co.uk/ or book a free chat here : https://calendly.com/julia-business-revolutionary/60min