The story of 25 people running from Baltimore to Key West in Support of the Ulman Foundation

While the thoughts are still fresh, and I have received a lot of questions about how the week went (thank you!), I wanted to share a recap of the Saturday to Saturday spent running and driving from Locust Point in Baltimore, MD to the Southernmost Point in Key West, FL in support of the Ulman Foundation. 

This experience was literally indescribable. It has been tough to put words to this in conversations, so writing it out is the best way to describe this cathartic 8 day experience with 25 strangers who became family as we covered 1500 miles, visited 3 cancer treatment centers, and checked off every emotion under the sun.

As we shouted at the start of every day - "Cancer Changes Lives. SO DO WE!"

The Start to this Journey. When I signed up for the Ulman Foundation’s annual Point to Point event earlier this year, I truly did not know what I was signing up for, in more ways than one, but all for positive reasons. They told us to trust the process, which some, rightfully so, found very hard to do. How often can you take time off from work, just show up for a week-long trip, and know that everything is planned for you? Or my take on it was a bit more theoretical given the mission of the organization to support young adults undergoing cancer. When someone receives that diagnosis, they truly have to “trust the process,” of their doctors, care team, etc. They can’t be told where they are going next, how they will feel, how long it is going to take, etc. Just have to trust what they are doing to help them throughout their treatment plan or journey.

We started our adventure in Baltimore on October 5th as a group of 25 strangers for the most part and really dove right into getting to know each other once we hit the road. Within the first few hours of our van ride, DAY 1 mind you, I learned more about my carmates whys, their stories, or connections to cancer. A highlight was when some mentioned the impact the organization Metavivor has made for Stage 4 breast cancer patients as we had a few breast cancer survivors in the car that day. A conversation that as it unfolded, I raised my hand to say sooo my mom was one of the cofounders of the organization, which led to me telling the story of how 4 women fighting terminal cancer wanted to surround themselves with people who “get it.” A story I still can not remember telling from start to finish... ever. Yes ever. This feeling of why is it that this is the only time I have ever really talked out loud about this started to creep in early on to say the least.

Those types of thoughts of why haven’t I shared this previously? Or how am I sharing so much with a group of people I JUST MET? didn't stop throughout the week. I attribute those thoughts to the Ulman staff who deserve a lot of credit because they really got us talking. Some days the convos started from some heavy questions. But as we all shared our answers, we all realized we all share so many – “I get that moments.” Though all of our answers were unique to us the common root was/is cancer.

Stories of how individuals were diagnosed, and the absolute angst and time that passed while doctors either pushed them off as being “fine” or misdiagnosing what the real problem was, I just couldn’t and still can’t fathom the feeling. Going to a doctor and just knowing something is not right, and being told to take this, or you just need to lose weight, the list goes on, frankly enrages me for my teammates and those who go through this. It was a reminder of what I hear all too often - you really HAVE to be your own advocate and PUSH doctors to get to the bottom of why you’re feeling tired, or have this pain, etc.

I digress though to another common angst. Communication. Patient or caregiver - the process of sharing what you’re going through is so hard, and something many feel is hard to even tell their kids, family, significant others, and friends. I know just a week of us all sharing some heavy stuff was hard - imagine repeating it over and over and over to tell family updates on your treatment, or how the person your caring for is doing. I think we all gained a new respect for those that need to communicate however they see fit.

The Day to Day. Each day we started with a dedication circle that I frankly found myself anxious before each one. Speaking out loud about my emotions is not an area of comfort. Writing — sure, fine I can do that pretty well, but getting my words out about who I was dedicating my miles to daily was tough. This whole effort started as a dedication to honoring my mom, but it evolved throughout the week. Suddenly each day was about her, but also the people I met along the way, my teammates, friends at home, and, well, me. Something I was reminded of is I have a high wall up when it comes to talking about my feelings.

The moment that provided that recollection that I still laugh about all the while giving this person so much credit for being as perceptive as he was… I helped to drive throughout the week, and believe it was day 3 when Brock Yetso opened up the driver side door and told me to: “get in the back seat. Time to let the wall down, your crutch is the steering wheel.”

He was/is right in more ways than one. Control is my crutch, supporting everyone else is my crutch. I don’t know enough of what it is like to be supported, let someone else take the driver’s seat, plan an entire trip, and just hop in the car and go.

Now going back to the questions asked in cars — once I let the guard down, I admitted things out loud this week I honestly don’t think I’ve ever said or even had the time to think through. I haven’t grieved the loss of my mom, like REALLY grieved. I never realized how isolated I have felt by not talking about my mom, with friends, with family even. Hearing stories of pain, anger, sadness, and just so much grief, it broke me down. All too often I am told I am so strong, but something I gained on this trip was the desire to never hear that as a characteristic that describes me because frankly, it is not a trait I’m proud of 100%. My strength has been me pushing down my real feelings of missing my Mom. I am weak, and that’s ok, and I want to rebuild to be a "strong" I am proud of, and not one that’s created from masking my feelings, or just keeping them behind lock and key.

The Miles. My coworkers had a laundry list of questions – do you run down I-95? Are you taking your own car? Are you traveling in a bus? Are you running relays? So first let me admit, I signed up as a driver all those months ago when I signed on for this. Why? I was afraid of the fundraising, the running, and just would rather stay in my comfort zone. I let fear dictate my decision instead of jumping out of my comfort zone. I soon realized I have some amazing supporters and crushed fundraising. I don’t know my worth or really feel proud of the things I do, so when I was doing well with fundraising, I was shocked. I realized I really should have gone all-in on this trip, I should have signed up to run, so I became a hybrid participant that drove and ran. I went into this week with another fear - running long distances and I swore I would not run the half marathon.

My favorite moment, when running the ? marathon, was Brittany Hirsch running by me saying – “hey Jen remember when you said you couldn’t run because of your back? Or remember when you said you weren’t going to run the ? marathon?”

Now I fully attribute my ability to run this week to my teammates. Me going out alone for a long run is something I want to strive to get better at, but for now, I want to continue to surround myself with running groups. Likeminded people. That support I referenced before can literally propel someone to do better. I started the week by saying - I don’t think I will ever run a 1/2 marathon and now I want to sign up for one for real. And who knows maybe a marathon after that. The point is I am capable, and I need to take advantage of that in all aspects of life.

Hospital Visits. Between the miles, we spent time visiting different hospitals too. This was an experience filled with mixed emotions. This area was rightfully so, a very raw and loaded space for many members of the group. For me personally, it was a reminder of how much my parents masked when they both were being treated for cancer. It never dawned on me until that time how little I really know about my mom’s treatment process, and my dad’s too. Did they sit alone? Did they get treated together? All questions that started to circulate in my head as I saw many patients sitting alone for their treatments. It reminded me, their life may be on pause to be treated but not everyone has the gift of having someone to sit with them daily.

I spoke with a few different men when at the treatment centers. Never about their cancer, or treatment, but about where they’re from, what they did for work, what they were passionate about. I don’t like to pick favorites, but Hugo’s story stuck with me. He grew up in Arkansas and found his way to Florida through being a wrestling coach and athletic director. He has visited 35 countries, every continent, and every single state in the USA.

His words of wisdom for me — make the most of experiences in life — travel as much as you can because there may come a day when you can’t travel anymore.

So, some takeaways about the Ulman Foundation. This group is just phenomenal. This week I realized the list of things they support grew to be a much longer list than the one I initially rattle off when talking about the organization. Patient support in the form of advocating for fertility preservation with insurance companies and at the state legislative level, providing scholarships to patients who are finishing up college programs they had to put a pause on when receiving a diagnosis of cancer because having cancer is not cheap, to managing cancer to 5k groups in many major cities such as Raleigh, Charleston, Annapolis, Baltimore, and more. The connections they have within hospitals, and local young adult cancer support groups are extensive. The light that staff members had in their eyes, or organization founders had when seeing the Ulman staff is indescribable. They look forward to this time of year 2x (for Key to Keys and Point to Point) when they get to see this group of people. 

Personal Takeaways.

Experience life more. By being present with thoughts and people this week I learned more about this now family, the cause I am passionate about, and just myself. Travel. Because people like Hugo can’t anymore as much as he wishes he still could and really pushed for appreciating the experience we were on for Point to Point and in the future too. Advocate. For yourself, your family, your friends, people you know navigating health problems.

Know your worth and use your voice. By recognizing what you can bring to the table to help others, or communicating your story, you will find a mutually beneficial balance of support. Disconnect. This was the first vacation I can remember in my entire career that I legitimately did not answer a single email. And I was the worst at answering texts. Sure, I was sharing social posts, but besides that I was offline.

Honor what you are capable of doing. We get to do so much, and we don’t really cherish that. We rattle off things we “have” to do but all too often forget in the grand scheme of things our "have to" list is more so a "get to" list. I have to go for a run, I have to go to work, I have to grocery shop… we get to do those things, and we need to savor that for those who can’t say they physically can or get to do that right now or in the future. Trust. Let go of control, let the guard down, and just trust more of the people around you, and yourself. 

FINAL thoughts. I could keep going on and on about this week, these people, and this organization. But the best way to know and truly "get" the impact this organization is making, is to experience it for yourself. Sign up for one of their wellness programs, make a meal at the Ulman House, just volunteer as an individual or as a business. You will. not. regret. it.

The final shout-outs I PROMISE goes to this group of individuals - the Ulman Foundation staff. Without their efforts, none of us would have been able to participate in this experience of a lifetime.

Also, a THANK YOU to my coworker family who supported me leading up to the event, and during the week too. Appreciate the fact I work for an organization (SC&H Group) that without question allowed me to participate in this experience!

As a participant in Point to Point and a Gamechanger I am still fundraising!!

And if this article isn't proof enough - the dollars I am raising to support the Ulman Foundation are making a true impact for young adults with cancer.