The Storm

Sometimes you must invite and activate the storm in order to create a high performing and healthy relationship or team dynamic.

In Tuckman's theory of team development he identifies 5 stages that a group (which is anymore than 1 person) will evolve through on it's way to being a high performing team.

The second of those stages he calls 'Storming' and it's where healthy conflict lives, where power dynamics play out and where the most support is required.

AND it is entirely necessary in order for the group to move into a norming and performing state.

It's the stage that most people and almost ever group avoids or does poorly!

Why?

Because so many people are conflict avoidant or have not been shown and taught the ways that conflict can be healthy.

We want to people please and keep the peace, avoid upsetting the apple cart, not risk vulnerability and hurt feelings etc.

But in all the years I have been facilitating and supporting relationships, teams and groups, the one thing I've noticed is that if the group doesn't storm - it doesn't achieve peak performance OR a flow state.. it's always a rough ride and while they may achieve it's substandard to what they would be capable of AND it comes with a much higher risk.

I remember one team I was facilitating for on a Leadership program that refused to 'storm' but sat in the discomfort of a forming team for so long not really progressing (being very, very nice to each other when I could see there was tension building).

I knew that we were about to head into a part of the program where they had to work together well and if they didn't 'storm' now then things could get very risky for everyone - including endangering lives.

So I activated the storm with a few strategic questions and let it play out.

We made it through safely.

It isn't always fun, being the one to activate the storm, especially if you are also a participant in the relationship/team (it's much easier when you are a facilitator!) but in my experience, it's worth the discomfort.

The group will either re-form, move to the norming phase OR it will disintegrate... each come with risk and reward and it's on us to make the decision about what we are willing to risk or gain in the process.

The characteristics of the storm

- resistance

- lack of participation

- conflict based on differences of feelings and opinions

- high emotions

- competition

- seems to go backwards

Strategies to navigate the storm

- create safe structures to ensure people aren't hurt in the process

- requesting and encouraging feedback

- identifying issues and facilitating resolution

- normalising matters

- building trust by honoring commitments

- getting outside support

- perspective sharing based on facts/events separating emotions

In the context of nature and, in particular, the role of a storm for the forest's evolution... the storm can feel like wreckage and damage and disaster - but inevitably the tree fall, leaf fall and other outcomes from the storm let light in, create more biomass, facilitate new homes for critters. The landscape is changed irrevocably but that's the point.. it helps in the evolution.

The difference for us as humans is that we can actually CHOOSE to evolve something by using a 'storm' and helping people navigate it safely and effectively to new ways of being and relating - which we can also choose!

Have you ever 'pulled a storm' in a relationship/team dynamic in order to illicit change?

What was your experience? I'd love to know!

It's the kind of work we love to support for our clients at Bowabirds..not because we love to see people in conflict, but because we understand the intrinsic value of a healthy and well managed storming process!

If you need help in this area please drop me a message, I'm happy to discuss.

#mayyoubloomwhereyouare

#mayyourbowabeblessed