The stories we tell ourselves

There is a lot to talk about how we can shape the world with our words. But what about the stories we tell ourselves?

I am not talking about the things you say aloud to yourself. I am referring to the ones that stay in your head, the ones that runs through your mind when nobody else is listening. The ones that are so deep set in your brain and body that they affect everything from how you walk to how you breath, to how you interact with other people.

We all have them - stories that we have told ourselves repeatedly until they are as much a part of us as our own skin. These stories are so embedded in who we are they become part of our identity. They define us – whether we see ourselves as someone who succeeds at everything they try or someone who always fails; whether we think of ourselves as capable; whether we believe we deserve love or not.

The stories we tell ourselves as people are the lens through which we view the world. We look at our lives through the lens of these stories and we use them to guide our actions. They can make us laugh, cry, feel inspired or moved to action. They can be a source of joy and comfort, or they can make us feel inadequate and unworthy, like being unable to live up to some imaginary standard. They can be an escape, but also an entrapment that keeps us stuck in the old patterns of behaviours.

Most of us have limited capabilities to judge what constitutes a good or bad story of our lives. Our stories usually revolve around our fears, desires and experience that have shaped our identify and worldview. The problem is that many of these stories are based on unconscious beliefs that are not true about us or others – but we believe them anyway! These false beliefs cause us to make bad decisions, feel bad about ourselves and limit our potentials as humans.

When we are caught up in a story, it can be difficult to see beyond its narrow lens. We become attached to our version of reality and don’t see other possibilities or perspectives. The danger is that these stories become self-fulfilling prophecies; if I don’t think that I am not good enough, then I won’t strive for my goals.

It is important to be aware of how stories can deceive us about our own lives, as well as the lives of others. Stories can provide comfort and purpose, but they can also blind us to possibilities and prevent us from growing. We might not be able to change the context that surround us, but we have control over how we choose to perceive it and react to it, both in the moment and over time.?