Stories, Truth & Hope: Post Traumatic Growth’s First 3 Strategies

How veterans can encourage Post Traumatic Growth (Part 1 of 2)

According to the book?Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth?by journalist Jim Rendon, psychologists Dr Richard Tedeschi and Dr Lawrence Calhoun (among others) have identified six strategies that people who experience Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) can leverage to heal themselves.?

Depending on your type of trauma and the amount of time that's elapsed since you've experienced it (among other factors), you'll maybe only need or focus on one or two of the strategies. But if you've experienced layers of trauma over long periods and/or undergone particularly devastating traumas (i.e., sustained emotional/physical abuse or combat), your healing might take years.

The six strategies are Stories, Processing, Hope, Support, Faith/Spirituality, and Creativity. In today's post, we'll explore the first three: Stories, Truth (Processing), and hope.

The stories we tell ourselves

Post Traumatic Growth is often about telling a new story about what happened to you. Trauma can rearrange the world as we know it, making us experience pain and suffering where none existed before. In order to grow, you'll need to reframe your experience in a way that allows you to see potential benefits (this is different than being "grateful" for the trauma).?

The simple example I often give about how reframing is about a person who has been mugged. After the crime, the person might tell themselves that the world is an inherently dangerous place and that it isn't safe to trust anyone or even go out.

However, once this person has processed what happened to them, it's possible for them to reframe the experience. They start to tell a new story, that maybe the mugging was an isolated event, or more about being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or that sometimes bad things happen to good people, or finally, that some things are simply out of our control. Then, this person might start to believe that it's okay to start leaving the house (albeit with some reasonable precautions). Eventually, they start trusting people again.?The new story is that the benefits of trust outweigh the costs of suspicion.

What stories have you been telling yourself about your trauma? And how is that working out for you?

When I first started using a cane, I hated going to the gym. I felt like everyone was staring and feeling sorry for me. But then I tried getting curious about if there was another version of the story that might be more useful to me.

At first, I tried telling myself I didn't care what other people thought. But that didn't work so well because it simply wasn't true. As much as I wanted not to care what others thought, I did.?

Okay, I thought, what if I told myself that none of them actually cared about my cane? This was way more plausible to me, since I personally don't care or think much about what other people do at the gym.?

But then I did one better myself: What if my fellow gym-goers thought I was inspiring??

After all, I certainly admire struggling individuals at the gym, those who show up despite what are clearly enormous challenges. What if others saw me and thought, "Good lord, what a badass showing up with her cane — if she can do it, what excuse do I have"??

To be clear, I have no idea what random strangers think of me. But it doesn't matter; it only matters what I think. I find it SO much more empowering to tell myself that they probably think I'm awesome (and then stop overanalyzing things).

PTG is about reframing and telling yourself a new story. If it helps you get the positive results you want, who cares if it's true?

Truth: Processing our pain

The second building block of Post Traumatic Growth is processing and telling the truth about your emotions. You can't start telling yourself a new story if you're not honest about the old one. I highly encourage you to get professional help with this one.

Our tendency as veterans is to avoid complicated feelings and emotions at all costs — it's literally how we've been trained. Who wants to relive our weakest, most vulnerable moments? That feels out of control, and you start to wonder if, once started, the terrible feelings might never stop.

This is one of the most important lessons you can learn, so pay attention:?Your emotions are not something to get over, like a bad cold. You have to face them over and over again.

Yes, it will feel weird and uncomfortable. But hard feelings can be cathartic. Think back to the times when you've felt intense sadness and grief; for me, those are some of the moments when I've felt most alive.

Give yourself that gift, and seek a trained professional to guide you through this process.

Our emotions are a sign that something inside us wants to change. Have the courage to face that change, and you'll be amazed at the results.?

I want to take a second here and touch on rumination. Another word for "processing" can be "rumination," for a long time, I believed that rumination was bad. While rumination can be unhealthy if it gets out of control, there is real power in repeatedly going over your feelings. It's your brain's way of processing the pain stored inside you. Without it, that pain remains stuck, blocking your relationships and ability to thrive. So keep working on it!

Once you've started processing and accepting the reality of your emotions (self-compassion will help a lot with this), the next step is to find optimism within yourself for something better.

Hope beyond hope

The moment you can see it's at least possible to benefit from suffering (again, not always the same thing as being grateful for it), you start looking for ways to accomplish growth. This is known as hope. People who have lost hope have lost everything.

Hope is the roadmap that shows you the way to a better version of yourself (not to mention the world).?So how do you find it?

First, a short detour back to storytelling, but in a different context. Actual stories — like movies, books, and even video games — can give us back our hope. The entertainment we all find most engaging is overcoming adversity and hoping for a better future. So start reading, watching and consuming stories that feature hope as a central theme.

But popular culture doesn't have the market covered on hope. As vets, we love to tell a good story. One of my absolute favorite things to do when I meet another vet for the first time is to hear their crazy stories (especially older vets — their stories can be BONKERS). None of those stories are ever, "My time in the military was fine, and then I got out."

So many vet stories are about overcoming challenges. Hearing how other vets have similar struggles as you can be so comforting, so life-changing, so transforming that I have a hard time seeing how we can heal without them. For millions of us, hanging out with other veterans feels like coming home. They give us all hope.

Want a better life? Start seeking out hope to find a new story about your life.

Stories, Truth amp; Hope: Reframing Strategies for Post-Traumatic Growth

In your own journey toward post-traumatic growth, I hope you’re able to more deeply explore the first three strategies: Stories, Truth, and Hope. Remember that these strategies are like building blocks, each reinforcing the other as you navigate the path to healing and transformation.

Reframing your experiences through new narratives can reshape your outlook, allowing you to see potential benefits even in the face of adversity. Processing your emotions, though challenging, is essential for self-discovery and growth. Seeking professional help can provide the guidance needed for this crucial step.

Finally, hope serves as your guiding light, illuminating the way toward a better version of yourself and a brighter future. Whether it's found in the stories you consume or in the camaraderie of fellow veterans, hope is the fuel that propels you forward.

As you continue your journey, remember that Post-Traumatic Growth is a deeply personal process, and it may take time. Embrace these strategies, adapt them to your unique experiences, and keep seeking out hope to craft a new, empowering story of your life. Your path to growth is a testament to your resilience and strength.?

Next week, we'll explore the last three strategies: Support, Faith/Spirituality, and Creativity.

Originally published at https://jillhintonwolfe.substack.com/p/stories-truth-and-hope-post-traumatic