Stories

Everyone has a story. Each story may be weighted in one direction, but it is theirs. I have always found it interesting that people make themselves the heroes of these stories while others focus on their roles as part of the team. I lean toward the latter, as it is always the people you collaborate with who make a difference in your life. The following tale is a chapter of my story that follows the latter.

One year ago, I was removed from my position as the VP of Marketing. We live in a world of at-will employment, and when the knock comes, you can only look forward. I knew I did my best.

A couple of months later, I interviewed with new staffing firms. I was down but fighting. But then I had a blood test. It changed the story. It was a standard physical, and they ran a PSA test. It returned as elevated. No biggie, many things can cause that. The secondary test was higher, and it was onto an MRI. The results of the MRI, two months later, showed a couple of areas of concern, what they call PIRAD-5, or likely cancer, but require a biopsy to prove that.?

I have to inject here that several years previous, I followed this same path with my colon, where they took the right half of my colon from me but discovered the tumor within was benign. Here I was again, awaiting if it would be something or nothing. Cancer scares can teach patience.

A biopsy was performed two months later, which confirmed there was cancer throughout my prostate. But it was early, so there was good news and bad news; the good news was early discovery, but intermediate risk as each sample had cancer in it was the bad news. For several reasons, surgery was not an option for me, so getting it out right away was not available. All that remained for options were hormone and radiation therapy. Cancer is a step-at-a-time process; no looking forward too far here.

I am a little more than halfway through that process and will wrap it up near the end of April. I go to radiation every weekday. I have to fast and deal with side effects like extreme fatigue, hot flashes, and joint pain; not debilitating, but not always manageable. There is no good cancer; even cancer that doesn't kill you right away is not good. Even highly treatable cancer is cancer. Sure, there are reasons to be thankful for the advancements in this specific cancer. But I cannot say precisely how good having it ever felt. Cancer is bad.

Every day, people at the Dana-Farber and Brigham and Women's Cancer Center in Boston greet me by name. They joke with, compliment, and support you, as do the other patients going through it on their side. About four to five doctors are working collaboratively to pick the best course of action. They are also highly empathetic and caring about me as an individual, and I am confident they are the same with others. As always, those we used to refer to as essential employees prove they are that daily. Cancer reminds you.

This specific cancer adversely impacts the African American community like other diseases can do. As a result, if you are over 45 and a black male, tack on that PSA test to your subsequent workup. Cancer does discriminate.

They say this is slow-moving cancer and one you are more likely to die with than from. Maybe that is because so many people discover when they are elderly. I do not feel elderly, so that does little to ease my mind. I have been asked a lot about this most recent gap in my resume and what I have been up to. It is illegal to ask specifically about illnesses. I explain that I am confident it is an issue that has been addressed and will likely not impact my ability to help a company grow. I ducked it, leaving people to wonder. Maybe rehab, maybe medical, maybe mental health, maybe. Cancer causes people people to wonder.

I have chosen to come forward because men don't like to discuss their internal sexual parts, and neither do I. But women have taught us that each time you see pink, you think of breast cancer. I may not be an influencer, but I have thousands of followers on this platform, who in turn have thousands of followers. I came forward so everyone who reads this may nudge their loved ones to ask to add a PSA test to their next healthcare visit. Cancer can be deadly when quiet.

Cancer has a lot of hate with it; justifiably, it has taken loved ones from everyone. I even had a text string to family to update I called F*** Cancer. I wore the gear that claimed I was a warrior. I have to admit the hard truth that being afraid I would never get a job worried more than this diagnosis and treatment of my cancer. I can hate both things. Cancer is hateful.

Most of my followers are in staffing, so maybe this causes some people to reconsider a long break, not fill in the blanks with issues, and accept that time was needed to stay alive, no matter what it was for. I am glad I stayed alive and do not care what it looks like. Cancer makes you strong.

When you have cancer, some people rally around you and offer to help even when it is difficult for them. Others shrink away and try to figure out what to say the next time they see you. During this process, I learned about my team, who?really?cared and who didn't. But those on my support and medical teams will always be heroes who saved my life even if I got the damn good cancer.

For more information, visit:

UK Prostate Cancer Site

Reddit Site

PCF.org

American Cancer Society

Patrick Walsh's best-selling book