The Stories I Tell Myself

Writing makes me uneasy. This isn’t like anxiety resulting in sweaty palms or a jolt of adrenaline—it’s more avoidant, more tentative, and sits somewhere in a state of restlessness. If writing were a person, I’d often find myself crossing to the other side of the street to sidestep any eye contact, rather than confront the idea of typing my thoughts out for the world to read.?

Yet, I write often.?

This seems odd, as surely I put pen to paper more than most. I draft dozens of emails, workshop outlines, and slacks each and every day. “That’s different,” I tell myself. Those are all business, and all conversational. What gets in my head is the vulnerable, creative, perspective-building kind of writing. I’m talking about putting yourself out there publicly, whether writing an article, a sonnet, or a LinkedIn post (gasp!). “It all feels so self gratuitous—who cares what I think?” Or at least that’s the story I tell myself.

I know I’m not alone. When our studio confessed a unanimous desire this January to build more confidence in their own writing, I realized they also suffer from the jitters. How is it that the most confident and creative people I know feel uncomfortable in a skill we all practice daily? I reached out to my friend and teacher Artie Isaac to share some pointers with our studio, and was delighted by how the conversation reframed our relationship with writing. Tldr: we’re back on good terms.?

Mental Chatter

What is stopping you from writing? It’s probably you and you alone. My biggest takeaway from Artie’s time with my team was exposure to the concept of mental chatter, which is the internal narration that you carry everywhere as you analyze and make sense of what’s around you.

I’ve recognized my own inner monologue through years (thanks Juan Alvarez for building my mindfulness practice), but hadn’t realized its role in my writing. Unfortunately, I’ve found my inner voice also tends to be cruel and self-doubting. Does this sound familiar? Think about all the times you’ve talked yourself out of something—judging your abilities, worrying about how you’ll be perceived, or imagining failure that does not yet exist. Parents may have it the worst, living in a constant state of internal scrutiny for how we should have acted in retrospect. It’s infuriating, this little voice, and it stops us all the time.

That mental chatter may be the central player stalling our writing, but funny enough, it’s not just the nasty person swooping in to sprinkle seeds of doubt. It’s actually the voice that narrates anything we document. Writing is simply a transcription of the thoughts currently happening in your mind. You’re constantly writing—the difference is whether or not you are documenting this stream of consciousness.?

This is liberating. Think about it—you could write about absolutely anything only by documenting what you think about the topic. This removes the desire to feel like you have all the answers. Expert or not, I have a perspective, which is unique solely because it is mine.?

Just Write

I suffer the most from getting started. Among other excuses, I’ll tell myself, “I don’t have time to finish this.” Now we know it’s the ol’ chatter that comes to call. But the advice was simple: Just write.

Artie recommended scheduling time for free journaling, removing the pressure of writing for someone else through the promise of privacy. He referenced the idea of daily themes, to encourage building content every day until it’s a habit—even if you only write 250 words. Oh, yes—this tracks. Artie was also my professor in college, and I remember our daily writing practice. We were to write three pages every morning before breakfast. My snooze alarm broke that deadline frequently, but this practice helped me make sense of what was in my head.?

Writing for yourself showcases that we all have something to contribute, because we know ourselves and our perspectives best. Furthermore, I found free writing tends to be more whimsical and less full of jargon. “Be endearing, not sensible,” Artie tells us. When you remove the pressure of performance and expertise, your writing becomes more human. Who wouldn’t rather get lost in that?

Additional cheerleading from Artie:

• To start, you have to believe this is worth doing. Are you willing to pause the other things on your list? You must believe that writing this sentence will be more fruitful and enjoyable than checking your email.
• You're never going to finish more than you start—but you can start more than you finish. “I hope you start a LOT more than you finish,” Artie encouraged us. This was striking, because so often I don’t engage when I fear I won’t have the time to reach completion.

The Finish Line

I’ve been called a perfectionist once or twice—by my high school art teacher, by the contractor who painted our 120 year old home, and perhaps, just perhaps, by my spouse. Given this, letting a piece of writing out into the world is really challenging.?

“But… couldn’t it be better? It’s just not ready yet.”?

Embarrassment has no place here. Writing is not like sharing some racy secret that’s going to determine the future of the world as we know it. Remove the pressure, because for most of us, that pressure is not based in reality. Writing is simply a transcription of what we think right now on a given topic. That’s it. In that vein, my writing will never be done, because I’m going to keep thinking and I’m going to keep learning. It will never be the best that I could do, as it’s my responsibility to always be growing as a student.?

As Artie shared, “Great poetry is never finished—it’s only abandoned.”

What will you write today? And even better, what will you share? Don’t let the stories you tell yourself be the reason you hesitate—let them be the voice you release. I’m waiting, and excited to hear your story.

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Resources:

See Artie’s entire talk with my team here . As you’ll see, Artie-isms are littered throughout this post, which is only appropriate as he continues to be a driver in shaping my leadership. Big thanks to him, and big thanks to my team for their vulnerability to ask for what they want. I will always be your biggest cheerleader.?

Recommend Reading (pictured in header):

• Teaching a Stone to Talk, by Annie Dillard? — Link
• The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron? — Link

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Lacey Picazo, Founder and CEO of?ZoCo , believes in the power of design to improve the experiences of people. Her team delivers research and digital product design to empower people, reimagine futures, and bring bold visions to life—all by prioritizing an understanding of the human experience.