Stopping What's Stopping You - Biz Tip #16

If you could just step right up to that emotional blockage - whatever it feels like it's made of, annoying sticky stuff, or concrete - and push it over, you would, right? You'd push it over with GUSTO!

That sense of being up against something you feel smaller than.

That feeling of defeat inside.

That feeling of not-enoughness because for all of your incredible efforts - other people look at you and go how on earth do you keep GOING like that??? - the ROI has felt so less-than.

It might sound odd to you, but what's stopping your forward movement isn't the feelings of smallness, defeat or not-enoughness. It's not even the external situations (they can only redirect you).

"But wait a sec! Don't I have to fix whatever it is so I can move forward? What am I doing wrong?"

This is a mind-blower for a lot of people but it's not the fixing that changes everything. When you try feeling bigger instead of smaller - puffing yourself up from a place of will instead of passion - some part of you is straining even harder, and it may also be telling you that this isn't from-the-core authentic for you. You can't sustain it.

When you try pumping yourself up with positive self-talk while at that core emotional place that you call "you", there's a place in you that goes, "Yeah, no." It won't allow for results either.

When you try efforting even harder than you already have, you'll actually get more resistance to your desired goal, which is even more frustrating for you!

So what are we to do to stop the madness and start the results?

If it's not about fixing the smallness, defeat or not-enoughness, what IS it about?

It's about something that touches the core of you, and leaves it transformed.

It's about something that changes your quality of life in this very moment.

It's about something that is completely within your control, even if you currently feel like it isn't.

Can you let yourself off the hook for a moment?

Or an hour?

Can you power down? Ease off? Take a breath?

Why on earth would you do that?

Two very good reasons:

1. Your nervous system can't take this abuse without eventually responding badly. Emotional outbursts, misery and lack of quality of life along the journey, and when you stay focused on one approach and one approach only, your reactions get locked in - at least for as long as you allow it. But when you balance the fight-or-flight just-do-it attitude with focusing on something you love, something that really emotionally lifts you to do, your nervous system helps you by rising with you, and suddenly you can access intuitive hits and new ideas. Good stuff.
2. Balance is possibly the most underrated approach to absolutely everything. We need balance like we need oxygen, if - that is - we are yearning for a life that feels good while we build. To me, that sounded like a pipe dream for most of my life. I had to get there before I could let up, feel good, enjoy myself in an authentically deep-down way.

I know - the idea of stopping (resting, enjoying, letting up) in order to start runs counter to our societal "Just DO IT!" messages. I do know. I spent decades pushing myself to the max! I worked harder and longer and more intently than anyone I knew, and yet it netted me exactly ... nothing. Nothing in terms of satisfaction. Nothing in terms of financial reward. Nothing in terms of big accomplishment.

It is only now, after 2 years of deliberately focusing on breaking the internal "rules" of "work hard/harder/hardest" that I realize the physical, emotional and even external needs for me to get some relief FIRST, instead of waiting for the money or position or acknowledgment to make it all better.

This is a seriously major challenge, especially when we're trying to accomplish something. We simply don't have a lot of human models for this balanced approach. The other thing we don't have is patience: we want to see the external result RIGHT NOW. It helps incredibly to realize that it is our personal changes that are the most remarkable in themselves and that those changes are what will transform our external reality if we will just ... wait. And challenge those parts of me that are conditioned, as you are too, that say, "Make it rain, TODAY!"

But get that cup of coffee or tea, and dare to ENJOY it. Take that walk in the middle of the daggone day, and dare to ENJOY it. Wow. This may confuse, or frustrate you. That's entirely possible. But it's worth a shot if all of the efforting has left you pushing against walls that simply won't move.

Now go get your coffee. And don't forget the cookies...

***********************************************

Breakthrough coaching is available. Click here to schedule a free discovery session with Lori.