Stop Worrying (How To)

Prominently displayed on the wall in my living room is a 4' x 6' canvas with a quote that reads:

Stop Worrying

It Will All Get Done

And Tomorrow There Will Be More

I created this years ago and have sent dozens as gifts because worry is a useless emotion.

I have known this intellectually for a long time yet require a reminder from time to time.

Why do we worry?

Worry is a patterned response to an uncertain future associated with potentially adverse outcomes or consequences.

• Will I get it done?
• What will happen if I don't?
• How will that make me look?
• Where will I go from there?

It's challenging to avoid worry; even our language traps us.

According to the dictionary, the opposite of worry is 'unconcern.'

The definition of Unconcern is "a lack of care or interest."

So it would seem one must choose between 1) worrying or 2) not giving a shit.

Why stop worrying?

Worry neither contributes to nor expedites the completion of anything.

Instead, it degrades our 'experience of' the journey to whatever we are trying to 'get done.'

Worry reduces our quality of life.

Stop worrying is only half the battle.

Most people see worry for the reflexive habit it is and understand our desired future is no more likely (or more unlikely) to occur without it.

Rarely is 'how to stop worrying' the problem.

Instead, because we are accustomed to the presence of worry as we move towards something; we interpret its absence to mean something must be wrong.

The challenge, therefore, is managing the story created by its absence.

You can't prove non-existence.

One of Fear's most insidious tricks is asking us to justify the absence of something.

Consider a phrase we might utter leaving the house; "I feel like I might be forgetting something."

When faced with this challenge, we can run through a mental inventory checklist or scan our surroundings.

If we identify the missing item, our concern is simultaneously validated and assuaged.

If we don't find anything missing, there is little we can do because it is difficult to prove the non-existence of something.

"I should be more worried," presents a similar situation.

The trouble with 'not thinking about.'

When seeking freedom from an unpleasant emotion, the natural tendency is to try and move away from the thought.

Unfortunately, the human mind is poorly suited to 'not thinking about' anything.

As such, we end up focusing on anything we work to 'not think about.'

"I shouldn't be sad," turns into "I am sad."

"I don't want to be unhappy," becomes "I am unhappy."

"I don't need to worry," turns into "I need to worry."

Move towards the positive.

Remember, worry is a patterned response that at some point created results in our lives and kept us safe.

Letting go of worry as a patterned response is easy.

The challenge comes as Fear demands you justify the absence of worry.

Energy spent 'not worrying' leads you directly to worry.

To free yourself from worry first be aware of Fear.

Then acknowledge its' power and accept the feeling of worry rather than deny it.

From this place, you can choose to move towards something positive.

If you want to return to Peace, try speaking the following affirmation out loud.

"At this moment, Fear asks me to justify the absence of worry. I know the future is uncertain. Fear wants me to believe I can only have Peace as long as I know what lies ahead. Instead, I choose Peace whether or not the future is certain."

To receive my posts direct to your inbox subscribe HERE