Stop What You’re Doing & Read This

I LOVE lists. I especially love to-do lists. I make them all the time, and have always told myself that they help get things out of my head and give me focus. But I am now realizing that all of these to-do lists might just be making things worse! I look at them all and feel like I need to constantly be doing something. How could I not? The lists are endless! This does not really help me maintain white space OR my sanity, both of which are very important to me. So, in 2019 I plan to stop making so many to-do lists.

But what else is on my stop-doing list? (Notice I didn’t say I was giving up lists altogether – that’s just crazy talk.)

• Being my own worst critic. The truth is, we are often the source of a lot of negativity in our own lives. We internalize messages of how we are not good enough, we should be thinner, more successful, better at cooking, stronger athletes. I am going to stop telling myself I need to be MORE, and appreciate who I am today.
• Saying yes at all costs. Although I have gotten better at saying no, my overwhelming desire to make people happy means I still say yes more than I should (or want to, if I’m really honest). Probably how I ended up with two exchange students from China in my house two weeks before Christmas! So, this year I will (keep) trying to stop saying yes when I know I need to say no.

Here are a few other things you might want to change in 2019. Either of them look familiar?

• Trying to change others. It doesn’t work! Instead, focus on changing your own behavior, and your reaction to others. I promise you that it will be more effective.
• Believing the stories you are telling yourself. Your friend doesn’t answer your text for a couple days, and you are sure that you did some sort of terrible awful and she will never speak to you again. Right? Or…maybe she’s busy like everyone else and she got busy and hasn’t had time to answer? We make up stories all the time about other people’s thoughts and behaviors. Stop believing your stories about others, start asking more questions and making fewer assumptions.

We had fun asking Facebook friends for their ideas about what to stop in 2019, and here’s what we heard:

• Being bothered by bothersome people.
• Doubting and worrying.
• Tying my own personal sense of well-being to whether or not OTHERS are okay.
• Aspirational grocery shopping – I am going to stop shopping for the seasonal organic foodie I want to be, and start shopping for the frozen pizza chef that I am.

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