Stop Wearing Busy as a Badge of Honor
Bill Watkins
Acceleration Coach | I coach proven badasses to win at Business, in Life and Self, at the same time | At-the-ready Tools & Resources you need | Peer Cohorts | Old Grad business owners are my speciality | Proven Badass
I was that guy.
The “I’m too busy” guy. The “phone always in my hand and don’t wait to start dinner” guy. The “I don’t have time to take a vacation, but when I do go to Disneyland with my family, I’m still working” guy.
It was crazy, and not the fun kind.
Years ago, I believed busy and success went hand in hand.? My mission was to be successful in business and I’d be damned if I failed a mission. Being in constant motion made me feel like I was moving towards the success I declared for myself. Yet I felt that I was failing in other parts of my life – namely spending enough time with my family.
And this is exactly the problem with being “busy.”?
Writer and philosopher, Charles Eisenstein, powerfully articulates this paradox in a recent essay, “The Paradox of Busy.”
He says that our vanity, or ego, around the word “busy” happens because we associate it with importance. Busy people are needed, wanted, loved. On the other hand, we feel annoyed because we know deep down that as busy people, we are not masters of our time, but subject to the whims of our calendars.?
“I can’t go on vacation, I’m too busy.” We often use this excuse because it tells the people around us that we are so important and our work is thriving.?It validates our success and self-image.?
In reality, we’re usually just insecure that things aren’t going well so we feel like we can't take a break. Tunnel vision prevents us from properly assessing our progress.
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We keep chopping wood with a dull ax.?
My challenge to you is to start uplifting yourself for the right things. Celebrate taking two weeks off to recharge – and never once answering a work email. Give yourself a pat on the back for going on a family vacation to Paris. Be the mom or dad that gets home by 5:30, plays on the floor with your kids, joins the family at the dinner table, and - most importantly - maintains presence.
I spoke about the revolutionaries in my Independence Day email a few weeks ago. Let’s represent what freedom and success is to badass 0.01%-ers, not the world’s unrealistic and damaging ideas about it, i.e. chasing the glory of the constant hustle and grind. Or what Mike Steadman and I called out on Dog Whistle Branding’s podcast as “hustle porn.”
I’d love to see some of these gurus who talk about not sleeping but constantly “work, work, work” 30 years from now. How many will be spewing the same philosophy? How many will be buried in the ground from exhaustion??
Will their children think about them fondly? Of course, we all know no childhood is perfect, but will there be consistent memories of happiness and? joy? Or will there be memories of empty seats at the dinner table, missed baseball games, and distant relationships.?
Which type of parent do you want to be?
I believe that by focusing on the 0.01% journey—which is enhancing your business, life, and self—all at the same time, we’re building better families. This leads to a stronger society, making a positive impact on the world. And that’s what our Cohort is about.? Our band of revolutionaries challenge pre-dated mindsets and explore the possibility that you can have it all—business, life and self—working successfully at the same time.?
Get out your ax. I have the sharpener.?
Artist - Author - Helping Women enhance their emotional well-being through creative practices.
2 年Great article, my husband and I are definitely at that fork in the road. Busy busy has been over used in our house. I look forward to moving towards a more impactful and rewarding time. At the moment I join my husband‘s business to help bring it to the next level. I am enjoying it but as I am an artist I do feel I need to spend some time painting and creating. Trying to find a flow in what I do. Thanks for again for this great reminder!
Founder @ Quantive | West Point Grad | M&A | Value Creation for $3-15M EBITDA Companies
2 年Awesome - incredibly true Bill Watkins. Busy is a marker of many things.... but it doesn't always correlate to winning.
Helping build better places to live and work.
2 年You're so right, Bill Watkins. I learned to be busy in commands that defined a person's value to the unit by how visible they were. While it was affirming to be among the most in-demand people in my peer group, it came with beating the skipper to work and being there until after he left. And more responsibilities than were actually useful to my professional growth and destructive to my health. But I got so many psychological rewards for being busy. It became an addiction. Being busy would make me feel good as long as I stayed busy. Meanwhile, it was harming the things that truly mattered. But I couldn't see that--I just thought I was doing it wrong, and got busier. I learned how bad busy is a few years into my startup, and how especially toxic it is for business owners. It has been an incredibly tough habit to break. It required shifting "busy" from describing who I am to being a thing I used to do. On occasion, I relapse. When I'm feeling discouraged or doubting myself. But I know busy is bullsh!t and a surefire way to set me back rather than move me forward. Thanks for the share and the call to action.
I help companies run smoother, grow faster, and generate more revenue! #HR #HumanResources #TakeCareOfYourPeople
2 年As I would say to my tank gunner, "Target! Cease Fire". You nailed it Bill. I am, unfortunately, well-acquainted with the "busy" trap. Great job pointing it out.