Stop Using Your Mood as a Weapon—You Have the Power to Choose Better

“Mood swings” are no excuse for poor behavior. Yep. I said it.. hear me out.

So, a couple of days ago, I got a call from the Idaho Unemployment Department…

Background: I’ve been applying for unemployment since I was fired from my job, and even though I’ve done all the qualifying activities every week, I hadn’t been paid for any of the weeks yet.

Anyhoo, I was frustrated but grateful that they were finally calling to help resolve the issue.

As I spoke with the woman on the phone, I thought I was making progress. I was hopeful that at least one of the weeks I’d applied for would get approved. But instead, she told me something I didn’t want to hear… something that set me back to square one.

When I got off the phone, I was livid. I was seething with anger, seeing red, and wanted to destroy everything in front of me. I felt like the whole process was pointless, and the frustration was boiling over.

Typically, when I’m that upset, I explode and project my frustration onto the people around me.

From the second I came into the room, my husband could see right away that I was pissed, and as I started telling him about the call, he asked me if we could “just talk about it.”

Normally, my reaction would have been, “I don’t want to talk about it… just let be mad for awhile, I don’t need your help right now!”

Instead, I took a deep breath, sat down, and told him exactly what I was feeling.

I said, “I am livid right now and seeing red. I’m seething with anger and just want to destroy everything in front of me right now. I feel like this whole process is pointless.”

We had a surprisingly calm conversation.

I listened to his perspective, shared what I needed from him, and we came up with a plan together.

The entire time, my daughter was sitting nearby, watching us. And even though I was still seething, I chose to be graceful, open, and present.

When it dawned on me that she was watching us, me in particular, I was so proud of myself for keeping my cool in spite of the anger and intense feelings I had bubbling up inside me.

I realized I was modeling for my daughter how to handle intense emotions without letting them take over and that means everything to me!

“Mood swings” are no excuse for poor behavior. There it is again… and I know it might ruffle some feathers.

It’s one thing to feel anger, frustration, or sadness. We’re human, of course we care going to feel these intense emotions! It’s entirely different to weaponize those feelings and unleash them on the people around us.

Too often, women justify lashing out with, “I’m just in a bad mood,” and people even excuse it.. like, “Oh, that’s just Betty being moody…” (no offense Betty).

The truth is, that’s not about the mood; it’s about choice.

Experiencing emotions is part of life, but responding out of those emotions, especially in a way that damages relationships, is a choice. And so is choosing to rise above them.

We all experience powerful emotions, but it’s not about denying or suppressing them. It’s about recognizing that you always have a choice in how you respond. You can lash out, project your frustration, and let your emotions control you or you can take ownership, pause, and respond in a way that aligns with the version of yourself you’re striving to become.

When you choose to act in a way that’s not aligned with your values, you’re not just hurting others. You’re also holding yourself back from growing into the woman you want to be.

Growth comes from the ability to feel the anger, frustration, or sadness and still choose to act with grace, respect, and integrity.

When you experience strong emotions, remember this: you always have a choice.

You can respond out of those feelings, or you can take a breath, pause, and choose to act in a way that aligns with the version of yourself you’re proud of. The version of yourself that’s growing into your future self.

Next time you feel anger, sadness, or frustration bubbling up, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself, “How do I want to respond? What version of myself do I want to show up as right now?” Choose to act in alignment with that.

Because in the end, your emotions are valid, but they don’t have to dictate your actions. Responding with kindness, respect, and intentionality isn’t just better for those around you, it’s better for you.

Respond out of choice not because you’re not in the right “mood,” but because you choose to own your power rather than giving it away to your emotional state and moods.

What’s one situation where you’ve let your emotions take over? How would you respond differently now?

Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear your thoughts.