Stop Trying So Hard. Own Your Imperfections And Become The Best Version Of Yourself

When I was in college, I came face to face with The Other.

The Other magnified everything that was wrong with me. I wasn’t as smart as The Other. I wasn’t as popular as The Other. I didn’t have the nice car, or the nice clothes as The Other.—But it wasn’t just the material things; The Other seemed to possess all the qualities that I, in my self-reflection, deemed lacking. It was as if their mere presence cast a spotlight on what I believed fell short in myself—I wasn’t as intellectually sharp (though I was an A student), as socially sought-after, or as impeccably styled. The contrast with The Other became a persistent internal narrative, a litany of self-perceived inadequacies that echoed through my college experience and early adulthood.

The intriguing aspect of our existence lies in the importance we give to the “The Other,” don’t you think?

In philosophy, the concept of “The Other “is thought-provoking. It’s often associated with thinkers like Emmanuel Levinas and Simone de Beauvoir. In a nutshell, “The Other” refers to the idea of encountering someone or something that differs from oneself. It’s not just a recognition of diversity; it’s a deeper exploration of the alterity—the state of being different.?

Levinas, for instance, emphasized the ethical implications of encountering The Other, suggesting that our responsibility to others is a fundamental aspect of human existence.?Simone de Beauvoir’s philosophy, in her work “The Second Sex,” delves into the concept of “The Other,” particularly in the context of women’s experiences. She argues that women have historically been relegated to the status of the “Other,” defined in relation to men rather than as autonomous individuals. De Beauvoir’s exploration extends beyond societal dynamics, delving into the internal struggle, highlighting the existential tension between one’s authentic self and societal expectations.

I find myself drawn to the philosophical exploration of The Other, not merely as an external force but as an internal struggle. And that’s because?it’s not merely the external encounters that shape us, but the internal negotiations within ourselves. In essence, The Other Within.

The Persistent Inner Voice

The “Other” is a constant companion in our private lives.—that inner voice can lift us up or bringing us down. Every day, as we face our reflection in the mirror, it affirms our thoughts about our current identity- the wins, the failures, the struggles, the dreams, the doubts, but also about the potential versions of ourselves that we wish to become. As we navigate our routine lives, we often wish for more but hesitate to do what we have to do, or are held back by the fear of taking action.

If the Other Within is an internal struggle, then the “Other” in our story suggests that our personal narratives are not solely about the polished versions we present to the world, but also about the struggles, fears, and aspirations that lie beneath the surface.?

The ongoing battle between these contrasting versions of ourselves does indeed shape the trajectory of our lives. It’s like a constant negotiation between the aspirations we hold and the barriers created by self-doubt, fear, or uncertainty. But it’s in embracing and understanding this “Other” that we might find the strength and inspiration to become the successful versions of ourselves.?

“Embracing The Other Within—becomes a philosophical dialogue, the internal negotiations within ourselves."

The imperfect self, that voice in our heads, influences our thoughts, actions, and it ultimately our future. This internal dialogue, sometimes a cheerleader and at other times a critic, guides our interactions with others. In this context, self-realization, whatever that looks to you or me, becomes not just an external achievement but a reflection of how well we navigate and, sometimes, conquer this internal battleground. It’s a recognizing that happiness and success aren’t solely measured by external markers, but also by the internal conflicts we overcome.

The ongoing battle between these contrasting versions of ourselves does indeed shape the trajectory of our lives. It’s a constant negotiation between the aspirations we hold and the barriers created by self-doubt, fear, or uncertainty.

Accepting and understanding the internal struggle to overcome it is powerful—acknowledging them rather than suppressing or ignoring them. In doing so, we gain a deeper understanding of our own dynamics and work towards a more harmonious coexistence with our imperfections—to finally overcoming them.

There Is Beauty In Imperfection

Kintsugi is the Japanese art form which embodies the concept of beauty in imperfection. Kintsugi is the art of repairing broken pottery using lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.

In the process of kintsugi, a shattered ceramic vessel is pieced back together, highlighting the cracks with precious metals. Instead of disguising or lamenting the breakage, the philosophy is to celebrate the history of the object, embracing its flaws as an integral part of its beauty.

The lesson learned from kintsugi is profound—it communicates that brokenness and imperfection are not things to be hidden or ashamed of. Rather, they can be molded and transformed into something unique and beautiful.

The mended pottery becomes a work of art, more valuable and captivating than before, showcasing the resilience and transformative power of embracing imperfections. Overcoming the negative dialogues, and being OK with your vulnerabilities is the first step.

Your Imperfections Are Your Superpower

Understanding and respecting the “Other” within ourselves becomes a superpower.

Many of us have a the tendency to measure ourselves against others. Why do compare ourselves to others? It could be a need for validation or a desire for benchmarks to gauge our progress. However, recognizing that these external comparisons cast doubt on our abilities, resilience, and potential, is key to breaking the habit and unlocking our potential.

Instead of dwelling on what you lack, channel your energy into what you can do. This shift in perspective will propel you into action, and free you from the shackles of self-pity, hesitation, or powerlessness. It’s in the acceptance of our imperfections that we find the strength to navigate our unique paths and harness our personal superpower for growth and accomplishment.?

Do It Scared.

In life, the initial victory in our internal struggle comes from embracing "The Other" – that imperfect, insecure part of ourselves not always visible to the world. Our desire to conform to societal norms often compels us to project an image that aligns with expectations. It goes beyond mere conformity; there's also the fear about being perceived as inauthentic, fake, a wannabe, or someone trying too hard. And so we set highly unrealistic standards that we must meet before putting ourselves out there. We do this to protect ourselves from potential ridicule or criticism. However, these unrealistic expectations become counterproductive, obstructing our ability to be authentic and raw and show the world who we truly are.

Instead, we impose strict rules on ourselves and our conduct in an effort to control what we share. We demand that we never make mistakes, never feel insecure, and never question our choices. When these unattainable standards aren't met, we confront The Other.

And the vicious cycle starts again.

Chasing perfection, is a roadblock to success. It often becomes a hurdle, setting a high bar that, when not reached, sparks self-doubt, fear of failure, and a hesitancy to keep moving forward. It's like a cycle of creating and destroying, of taking action and then not taking action. The key is to release the constant need to have everything figured out and embrace ourselves as we are.

Meet Yourself Where You Are.

Real growth happens when we embrace our imperfect selves and meet ourselves where we are. It’s about facing those moments when it seems like everything is going wrong or when confidence is nowhere to be found. Even amid feeling messy, foolish, or insecure, there’s an opportunity to rise above and still take action. It’s not about having it all together; it’s about accepting the journey, flaws and all.

The sooner you accept yourself as you are, the fastest you will grow. When you take the pressure off and you meet yourself exactly where you are and work from there, you grow and reach your potential faster.?

Taking imperfect action is a practical approach tied to the belief that success often comes from consistent effort. Recognizing imperfections in ourselves enables us to move ahead without the crippling fear of making mistakes.

That initial, imperfect step is a fundamental aspect of my philosophy, but not an original thought of mine; rather, it’s a concept I’ve gleaned from the diverse voices online and the wisdom of writers over the years. The idea of taking imperfect action underscores the understanding that growth and success often stem from an openness to the learning process. Every action, no matter how flawed or modest, contributes to the journey.

The Imperfect Self

In entrepreneurship and in life, the imperfect self can be a powerful asset. It adds a genuine touch to your brand, making it relatable to your audience. There's a deep connection that forms when people encounter genuine, imperfect stories. It's the resonance of authenticity that fosters a sense of relatability. People genuinely appreciate seeing themselves reflected in the experiences of others.

It’s through embracing imperfections, that we pave the way for a more authentic and successful life. Remember it’s not just about nodding your head; it's about incorporating these principles into your daily routine.

Internal Reflection:

• Embracing imperfections invites internal reflection. By recognizing and accepting our own flaws, we delve into a deeper understanding of our internal selves. This self-awareness becomes a crucial foundation for personal growth.

Shifting Self-Perception:

• As we navigate the journey of imperfection, our self-perception undergoes a transformation. The acceptance of flaws challenges rigid standards, fostering a more realistic and compassionate view of ourselves. It's about understanding that growth isn't about perfection but about progress.

The Struggle Within:

• Often, the internal struggle with imperfections mirrors the struggles of "The Other" within ourselves. This recognition of shared internal battles creates a bridge between our own perceived imperfections and the concept of "The Other" within.

Connection with the Authentic Self:

• The journey of imperfection is a journey back to the authentic self. By shedding the unrealistic expectations, we reconnect with our genuine desires, aspirations, and values. This authenticity becomes the driving force for meaningful personal growth.

Breaking Internal Barriers:

• The acceptance of imperfections internally breaks down internal barriers. It's about dismantling the walls of self-doubt and fear, creating a space where genuine self-expression and growth can flourish without the constant pressure to conform to an idealized version of ourselves.

Cultivating Compassion for the Internal Self:

• Embracing imperfections fosters self-compassion. We become more forgiving of our own mistakes, understanding that these moments contribute to our growth. This internal compassion becomes a powerful motivator for continuous self-improvement.

By applying these strategies, you can actively embrace your imperfections, begin taking action, and grow into the person you want to become.

One last thought:

It’s okay not to have everything figured out when you — take that first step.

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