Stop Trying to Sit at Tables You Are Meant To Flip

"The problem is, some of y'all are trying to sit at tables God sent you to flip."

When I read this quote I gasped. Thank you to Camille Walker for it. Regardless of your religion (or lack thereof), the sentiment still remains the same.

This quote was my catalyst to finally write this piece, though I'm afraid I'll be far more long-winded and far less eloquent in doing so. I read it stunned because it sums up so much of my career so succinctly.

The Glass Cliff

In my career, when given the choice to fight or flight, I default to flight.

I'll fight a few battles, however; I've rarely been willing to go to war because I'm unwilling to consistently force my way into spaces that weren't meant for me.

There's a term called "the glass cliff" which according to its Wikipedia page is "a hypothesized phenomenon in which women are more likely to break the "glass ceiling" (i.e. achieve leadership roles in business and government) during periods of crisis or downturn when the risk of failure is highest."

This phenomenon extends to people of color, one study includes a 2013 study by Alison Cook and Cristy Glass called "Above the glass ceiling: When are women and racial/ethnic minorities promoted to CEO?" To quote the abstract:

"Consistent with the theory of the glass cliff, we find that occupational minorities—defined as white women and men and women of color—are more likely than white men to be promoted CEO of weakly performing firms."

So, quite often after you've waged the war and fought for your place, you're left in a situation where you're set up to fail. And as a woman, as a person of color, as someone from any underrepresented community, when you do fail after every card has been stacked up against you, they'll say to themselves, "this is why we don't hire blank" and "this is what happens when you make a DEI hire" and replace you with a white man.

As an article by Kate Choi in Psychology Today expands upon the study by adding:

"The opportunity to be promoted into these positions may rarely present itself outside of times of crisis... In fact, the interviews revealed that many racial minority executives build their careers by taking risky assignments throughout. Because racial minorities tend to have more limited access to traditional avenues of promotion, glass cliff promotions may be a high-risk/high return strategy implemented by highly qualified and competent minorities to achieve their career goals."

We're constantly reminded that these tables aren't meant for us. We have to break through so many doors in the form of micro (and often macro) aggressions, requirements for additional degrees, additional experience, additional training, being overlooked, being questions, and being talked down to, to then finally get into the room where it happens, be told to fight amongst ourselves for the few seats and then finally get a chance to sit at the table where you often still have no say as to who else can join you at that table. And once we've finally sat, they'll tell us how lucky we are to be there and how grateful we should be that they gave us the opportunity while they had the door opened for them and just took a seat.

When I Realized...

I recall the exact conversation when someone so casually dismissed my chance of progression that I knew then and there, that it wasn't the place for me. Playing the game, climbing the later, building my alliances like it's Game of Thrones all to be told a decade down the line after I "proved my loyalty" and "paid my dues" that that I still had no shot was not at all something I was willing to do. I actually should thank that person because it so clearly outlined how it would end for me, and I wasn't going to let that be my fate. I looked around at senior roles across music as a Black woman with a marketing & tech background and saw few to aspire to, there wasn't a path forward that made sense. I realized, probably too late into my career, that this wasn't a fight I was willing to have.

I have a friend and former colleague always ask me when I'm going back to my former employer and my response is always in jest but rooted in truth... "What would my job actually be?" because there isn't space for me in most of the 'traditional' music industry. It was never clear what to do with me in spaces that value specialists more than generalists and in spaces with few that look like me, so I've been far more successful outside of that world than I ever would have been within it. As I gained success outside of traditional industry roles, I gained influence, I gained perspective, and to be frank, I gained the audacity which lead me to realize I can be the change I want to see without being in the most high profile roles.

While I aspired to the big roles and the big titles, it was never for me. It was because it was the only way I thought it was possible to make real change in the music industry. Unfortunately, change rarely happens in 'change' focused roles. In 2020, I watch dozens of executives hired into senior level diversity & inclusion roles without any support, budget, stakeholder buy in or authority and then watched them subsequently be fired 2-3 years later without any lasting change. Yet, I've watched senior leaders in large organisations make swift, real & impactful change because they had the authority to do so.

So, I just changed up my approach.

Stop trying to sit at the table you are meant to flip.

You Can't Just Build Your Own Table

It goes beyond building your own table. Building your own table keeps everyone else far too comfortable. Building your own table makes it easy to overlook. Building your own table gives people the catalyst to say, "oh but you have your own award show", "you have your own television channel" and "you have your own charts".

It makes people think they've done enough, that the problem is solved, that you're willing to happily stay in your own lane, and therefore, they get to keep everything exactly how it's always been.

That's why you need to flip the table.

Because when you flip a table everyone pays attention, when you flip a table everyone's uncomfortable, when you flip the table you gain the control--you can take the pieces for yourself and for everyone else that never would have gotten to that table.

Flipping the table means speaking up when something isn't right. It means actively redistributing wealth and power. It means leveraging your privilege to benefit others. It means doing things differently than how it's always been done. That's everything from small acts like recommending smaller companies for big projects and refusing to speak on all male or all white panels all the way up to changing the access artists have to their fans, only training AI models ethically or setting up companies that take funds from bigger companies to fund smaller projects and to support smaller artists. It's being unwilling to wait around for the industry to give you permission. It's being unwilling to do bad things because everyone else is doing bad things. It's maintaining your integrity while using your unique skills, perspectives, and privileges to change how things are.

It's a (Emotionally) Heavy Table to Flip

It's also exhausting. It takes immense privilege and support to actually be able to do this. I couldn't speak like I do, do what I do, or make space & time for others like I try to do without the experience, background & network I have. I recognize that many begin to build their own tables because they've been completely shut out of access to the 'traditional' music industry so attempting to do more than survive and make some semblance of a living doing what they love takes up all the oxygen in their proverbial room.

I recognize not everyone wants to shake things up. Many just want to put their heads down, do the work, and get through the day. If that's because you think your work 'speaks for itself', I wish that were the case in the same way I truly do wish the music industry was a meritocracy, however; I've reach more people and helped more artists by being loud than I ever did by being quiet and just 'getting the work done.' When you speak up, people pay attention, and then you can tell them all about the excellent work you're doing to help artists & music execs.

If you don't want to rock the boat out of exhaustion, that's entirely fair. Especially coming from any underrepresented background, getting through the work day is exhausting enough without simultaneously attempting to dismantle years of oppression. For those that feel that way, I hear you, I understand, and I want you to protect your peace.

And finally, for those that have it in them to fight (especially the allies!), I implore you to choose your battles wisely so you can make it bigger than yourself. As you flip the tables, rock the boat, and challenge the status quo, make sure you're rebuilding more empathetically, more sustainably, more intelligently, and more inclusively. Take the good parts out of the bad and build it back up better.