Stop trying to be happy...

Well there is a controversial title to kick off the month of March! ??

For those regular readers of my newsletter you will know that I am focussing on what makes us thrive as individuals, specifically within the work context and the broader impact this has on society.

So, why do I think you should stop trying to be happy?

In business you are measured on results.

Money in, time in, profit out. If the later is higher than the former well done, you've cracked it ??

(P.S I am a strong believer in stakeholder capitalism, so profit is definitely not the only output a business should be measured by, but bare with me as I simplify in order to make the point!)

If we look at how we as a society are performing in regards increasing our happiness using the same simple equation:

Increasing ￡Billions (and that is no exaggeration) spent on lifestyle hacks to make us happier, the result? A western world seeing, increasing/high rates of anxiety, loneliness and depression...

Any business based on this model would instantly go bankrupt, any sports team would cease to exist after one season, by any measure we are surely getting this wrong.

We also know that humanity, despite its obvious faults, is incredibly creative, imaginative, adaptable and brilliant at finding solutions over time.

So why can't we crack this problem of happiness?

Well I believe that we've got the whole premise wrong.

If you seek happiness, then you are very likely to look for those things that make you happy, not illogical. However that leads to adopting behaviours that focus on short term comfort and pleasure.

Perhaps the trick is to focus on those things that seemingly DON'T make you happy, that are hard, difficult, uncomfortable, painful even. Those things that you don't want to do. In those moments, those actions, lie the seeds to long term satisfaction, fulfilment, confidence and happiness ??.

In a business context, what does happiness look like?

Is it the pizzas, football tables, 4 day weeks etc? The outcomes would suggest not, these short term happiness incentives look very successful in a high growth context, but look as useful as a chocolate tea pot when growth stalls, recessions hit, and companies struggle to remain profitable. People, investors, customers tend to simply drift away.

What works in business, what works for us as individuals, is in the hard stuff. Commitment to a team, to a mission, to a set of values, through the ups and the downs, going that extra mile (and sometimes the extra hour at your desk) to take that call, work on that project, learn that new skill.

What works for us as individuals is committing to relationships through the ups and the downs, living our values even when its hard, giving away your time and energy to help others, doing the exercise when you don't want to, avoiding the yet another bottle of wine when you're feeling under stress, etc, etc.

None of that feels good in the moment, but it feels GREAT when you see the results, feel the confidence and become more than you were before.

Look at businesses that have survived for generations, talk to centenarians, these are not people or organisations used to taking the easy road. They will all talk about values such as:

Hard work, commitment, self-sacrifice, gratitude, love, endurance, resilience, adaptability to change, most of which feel a lot less than fun in the moment, and don't feel particularly happiness inducing. However, over years, decades even, these values promote a sense of fulfilment, confidence, belief, deep relationships, a sense of belonging and ultimately happiness.

Go and read about and listen to people and teams like this, they really do come across as happy, by NOT doing those things that the modern world tells us makes us happy...

Happiness is found in the friction... not in the moment, but over time.

This is true for business, this is true for us as individuals ??

AND FINALLY - Podcast tip for the month:

The 'Huberman Lab' Podcast - If you have any interest in ANY form of self-development he consistently interviews a stream of inspiring people with lots to pass on.

Have a great month! ??