Stop thinking you’re a “good person." Here's what else we learned on 'Working Together' this year

Happy almost Thanksgiving to the 60,000+ strong Working Together community. Since launching in March, I’ve had the opportunity to speak with countless leaders across industries about how we can make the workplace more equitable for everyone. In advance of the holiday season, I wanted to share a quick update with some key learnings from those conversations. 

Also: We’re booking guests for next year’s Working Together Live! Who do you want to hear from? Let me know in the comments below. 

If you find yourself ahead, bring other people with you.

“If this becomes about one person's journey, then I feel like that's sort of a waste. I consider it a responsibility to bring other women with me and try to cross my career and ... to give women opportunities, to put women in positions, to hand over jobs and responsibilities to other women. If not us, then who? How would we ever expect men to do it if we're not doing it? It starts with us.” -- DDB Worldwide CEO Wendy Clark

Modern leadership requires vulnerability. 

“I didn't realize how important [being vulnerable] was until I did the scariest thing I could imagine and came out as trans in my work life. I thought I'd lose half the team and all of the engineers would leave. What actually happened has been really beautiful. Most founders are aware that whether they like to be or not, whether you're a CEO or a manager, you are scary. Often, that puts us in this position of power where we want to appear perfect. And so we hide our vulnerabilities instead of showing them. When you show them, it create[s] many more genuine and sincere connections and it takes away the, ‘I'm scary,’ that you never wanted.” -- RebelMouse Founder and CEO Andrea Breanna 

You’re not a “good person” all the time at work. Pay attention to that. 

“A good person thinks they're never supposed to make mistakes and therefore doesn't learn from them. A good-ish person, when they make mistakes, is mortified, but then there's a path to getting better…. If we're viewing a good person as someone who's basically just trying to ignore the bad, a good-ish person is actually trying to notice it. The work of noticing becomes critically important. I know I'm going through my whole day stumbling at work. I go into a meeting and there's a person of color setting up the room and somehow I instantly assume that person is an administrative assistant setting up the room as opposed to the client, right? I have done that. I'm not proud of it. The work is noticing that when that happens.” -- NYU Stern Professor Dolly Chugh

And when you feel like a loser, know that’s OK. 

“I am in charge. I've always been in charge. But that doesn't mean that I don't ever feel like a loser. That doesn't mean this morning I felt like, ‘What am I doing?’ And then I say, ‘Okay,’ I look at myself in the mirror and I say, ‘If you doubt your power, you give power to your doubts.’ And boom, you go.” -- Diane von Furstenberg

If the workplace is going to get better, it will take courage from all of us. 

“We have to lean into our courage to speak up because if we want to make the workplace better overall, it's going to require me to step up…. We all know when something has been said that should not have been said. It doesn't mean I have to get on the table and call you out. But it means that I may take you [aside] at the end of the day and say, ‘You know what? That wasn't okay. Why don't we think through why that was a problem. I know you might not have meant harm, but that could be harmful in these ways….’ I think it's important for us to try a new way; redefine what success looks like in the workplace by speaking up when it counts.” -- Author Minda Harts