Stop tearing down women of color

This is a story... but maybe not the story you're expecting.

This is not the story of two well-known Wh!te male "sustainability leaders" who tore down two women of color in front of all their LinkedIn followers.

This is not the story of those two women of color, also leaders in their respective domains.

This is not even the story of "race, race, race, and by the way did I say race?!" -- though the Wh!te - color relation is absolutely relevant.

No.

This is the story of domination.

Such as:

• How dare you question me. I'm the smart one here, and everyone knows it.
• Do you know who I am? You're nothing compared to me.
• Fix the hurt you caused me right now or I will destroy you so severely, you'll pay me for the privilege.

The "sustainability leader" part 1

Several years ago I witnessed a Wh!te male "sustainability leader" tear down a woman of color in response to a LinkedIn comment she made. His message was so severe, so unnecessary, it took my breath away.

I still remember the putrid, disgusting length of it.

And I remember key themes of it:

• You keep coming around and kicking dirt at me and I'm really sick and tired.
• You're the only one criticizing me so maybe check yourself?
• All my besties feel the same way about you so I'm not crazy...

He could have said all that in a private message. Or, he could have deleted her comment and maybe used the block button... you know, like a well-adjusted adult member of society?

Instead, he chose to dominate... and do so a way that his thousands of followers would see on their own LinkedIn feeds.

I "promoted" that man to my block list, and I will never do business with him.

"But Chris, he's a leader in his field"--oh come on now. I live in New York City; I can toss a feather from any window in the five boroughs and hit a toxic "leader" pretending to do good. You readers in Washington D.C. could do the same.

That man's not a leader. He's ordinary.

Replaceable. Substitutable.

The "sustainability leader" part 2

Earlier this year I witnessed a woman of color post her appreciation for the work of a Wh!te man within sustainability, while adding that his work still manifested colonial patterns. That man came to the comment section and said, paraphrased: "If you think my work is colonial, you have no idea who I am!"

Not, "I'm surprised to read this from you; could you share more?" Not, "Thank you for this perspective; maybe I have more learning to do." Not any of that.

Instead: "You have no idea who I am!"

Instead: "King Kong ain't got sh!t on me!"

Yeah, I "promoted" that man to my block list, and I will never do business with him.

"But Chris, he's a leader in his field..."

That man's not a leader. He's ordinary.

Replaceable. Substitutable.

The irony

Now it's time for me to share a plot twist with you:

The two women of color I discussed above are also on my block list.

Ironic, huh?

Actually, it's not ironic at all. It's consistent. Like I said: this is not the story of "race, race, race, and by the way did I say race?!"

No.

This is the story of domination.

Such as:

• How dare you question me. I'm the smart one here, and everyone knows it.
• Do you know who I am? You're nothing compared to me.
• Fix the hurt you caused me right now or I will destroy you so severely, you'll pay me for the privilege.

Here's the real irony:

My block list itself.

That cuddly, lovable little digital trash can that certain people go into and never come out of. It's a list of people I've erased from my life. And erasure is a form of domination, is it not? Indeed, it might even be the pinnacle...

Domination.

It's not just toxic.

It's not just violent.

It's not just Wh!te-supremacist.

It's not just colonial.

It's not just patriarchal.

It's ordinary.

Surely we can do better than to dominate others. Surely we have more creativity, more compassion, more consciousness. Surely?

Now pardon me while I step away from my computer and go look in the mirror.

Here are my questions for you

• Where do you see domination showing up in your life?
• Where do you see yourself as the dominated... and where do you see yourself as the dominator?
• Think about your block list. When you throw the words "domination" and "security" and "safety" into a blender and press the "Start" button, what do you see emerging?

Leave a comment and let me know.

Image: A U.S. Air Force Boeing B-52H Stratofortress of the 2nd Bomb Wing static display with weapons, at Barksdale Air Force Base, Louisiana (USA), in 2006. U.S. Air Force photo 060202-F-6809H-100 by Tech. Sgt. Robert J. Horstman.