Stop Stressing.. Start Thriving!
Coach Dana Cavalea
New York Yankees, High Performance Executive Coach to C-Suite Leaders, Sales Teams, Tech, Private Equity & Venture Capital, Bringing Sports Culture to The World of Business. "I write what you really think."
Have you ever had that knot in your stomach that just would not go away?
Perhaps the feeling of nausea where you felt like you were going to cleanse the person in front of you with projectile vomit?
Or maybe, your neck and shoulders feel so tight even the most subtle of movements may cause you to pop or break...
Been there.. and so have many of the CEOs, Leaders, Professional Athletes, and Music Stars out there ( many of which I have worked with...)
But, I think the absolute worst feeling is when all of the above causes you to feel like your armor has been damaged. You feel weak. Your energy is down. Wounded. Even.. scared.
For many years, I believed I either had a good day or a bad day. I could not trace the origin of the good days because I didn't think about them. As for the bad days, well, those I thought were the result of the weather. Make sense, right?
Partially true, but at the time, I did not realize I actually had something deeper going on.
That "deeper" thing was really anxiety. Stress. Fear. You name it. I had it.
Not because I was somebody without confidence, but rather, I was somebody without boundaries. The lights were always green. The answer was always yes. My work had no clear starting and end time. My phone was always on, available, and ready to hit send.
It was always game on for me. Competition mindset.
After all, I was trained that way.
Being in Professional Sports for my whole career and competitive entrepreneurship, I knew no other way. Put the team on your shoulders, run full speed, and get the job done.
Until, you feel like you are going to barf.
What I thought were stomach bugs, colds, and just a rash of "bad days", was really my system totally overtaxed, burnt, and exhausted from traveling around the country, fighting for my goals and dreams, while totally neglecting sleep, hydration, nutrition, "unplugging", and choosing the correct training method for somebody who was totally smoked beneath the surface.
Bloating. Weight Gain. Bad skin. All parts of the equation.
Do I have gluten allergy? Maybe it was soy? Or Dairy? I don't know!
It has to be something like that.
I mean look at everybody else. They are all on Almond milk lattes, maybe I should be too.
Nope. I just need digestive enzymes, cryotherapy, ice baths, and to "be on social media" less. Or, spend a weekend in the mountains to "rebalance" or go for a long road trip to clear my head.
After this 12 month rendezvous I needed answers.
I was determined to find solutions.
I went to the Doctor and everything was fine. Great blood work, but I still felt like crap.
Next, I attacked Amazon. After ordering every self help, nutrition, and mindset book on the market, what did I come up with?
Nothing.
Because life is an individualized sport.
My whole life had been spend coaching and giving service to others. I love giving. I love coaching. Especially when it comes to helping others find their health and ways of increasing their performance.
This time, I had to turn the tables.
I soon came to realize my best method of "healing" was rest, surrendering, and "not fighting" to win my own game.
Type A, hungry, underdog, hustler = Me.
I was a sniper in trouble.
So here is how it all works. When you have a panic attack, realize you are not dying. Your body is just fighting for survival. You worked it to hard. You "broke the horses" back a bit. Go rest. Get off the caffeine. Get away from your work for a bit and balance it with something fun.
Realize your answers are within you and not within books teaching you how to be successful. I started to think the more success I had, then I would cure myself and maybe even buy myself out of this state/ condition. Totally not true.
When you are tired, overworked, and burnt, you must go the opposite way. That high intensity workout is the worst thing you can do. Massage, hot baths, massage, floating, and just plain old chilling is the best recipe. But, not for a week, for months. Go for a bike ride. Shoot hoops. Swim. Change your thoughts from negative to positive by choosing to do so.
Your negative conscious mind can and will hot-wire your subconscious mind to manifest lack, fear, and self-deprivation.
Give to yourself. Treat yourself. Indulge a bit.
Give to yourself more so than ever before. Get rid of the timelines you created. Be more forgiving. Be creative. Go for walks- slow and long.
You must change your tracks. If you do not, your state of stress will turn into distress. Your train will derail.
Get on top of it before it occurs. Realize, like an electronic, you too will burnout with overuse. It is real. Breakdowns. Insecurity. Lack of trust in yourself can all come to the surface.
Put your mask on before that of anybody else.
Remember this: You must be selfish to be selfless..
Get yourself back on track one day a time. Don't expect rapid gains. Get busy with your self-care and in the end, you will be glad you did it.
Your pain will ease.
And, best part of all, you will no longer need to travel with that little baggie in the seat in front of you supplied so graciously by most airlines!
Start thriving.
COACH DANA CAVALEA