Stop and Start

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. ?— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Growing up, we all received guidance from our parents or guardians. ?If your childhood was like mine, you constantly heard instructions. ?My dad would say, “Kent, stop running that water,” while my mom would urge, “You better start cleaning that room, Kent.” ?One would tell me to stop, and the other would push me to start something. It was a frustrating cycle, but their goal was to guide me toward becoming responsible. Though I wished for more freedom, their guidance helped shape who I am today.

As leaders, we learn through observation and trial and error. ?Regardless of where you began, you had to learn what to start and stop doing. ?Starting something new requires effort and discipline to build a habit, while stopping something often means overcoming ingrained tendencies. ?Both can be challenging. ?Take losing weight, for example.? You must stop eating unhealthy foods and start eating healthy ones in smaller quantities. ?It sounds simple, but the multibillion-dollar dieting industry shows it’s not.

Your own leadership has similar types of challenges.? To grow as a leader, there are going to be some things you are going to have to stop doing and others you will have to start.? Along those lines, I will be adding new content to the 3L Club that focuses on what to stop and start.? But that in a week away.? For today, I am going to give you four common things to stop and start to help you become a better leader.

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Stop Focusing on Where They Are/ Start Focusing on How They Progress

Performance is a crucial part of leading others.? When we think about leadership, it tends to be very results oriented, and that is a good thing.? However, development of talent is equally if not more important than just the result.? Jim Collins, author of the book ‘Good to Great,’ had a quote about the balance of these two in organizational leadership saying, “An organization cannot be great if it cannot be great without you.”? This means that while you focus on the overall success of the team you can only be as successful as the success you create for your successor.? At the beginning, you will have people who start out of the gate flying and others who struggle.? One might think that the first person will be the best employee for the organization.? However, the goal is to set up a system where everyone can grow to be successful.? In the right system, everyone will maximize their potential to be their best.? Thus, you might find a situation where the person who started slow was taking time to learn the system and would later become a more valuable team member than the fast starter because they had a better growth mindset.? So yes, you will always exceptional performance, and yes, you want to create an environment where all can successfully contribute to the team’s success.? Thus, while it is important to understand where someone starts, it is more important to watch how they progress.

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Stop Telling / Start Asking

One of the worst pieces of advice I ever received as a leader was the saying, “There is only one way to do things, and it is the right way.”? While there are certain cases this might be true, this is an innovation killer.? It gives the impression there is only one way to do things.? Take for example the job of a consultant.? They have answers based on their experiences, but their job is not to just provide answer.? Their role is to help facilitate solutions that enable their clients to be successful, and if the organization has a better understanding of their culture and what works within it.? If the organization understands its culture and what works within it, the solution may not be the one the consultant would have initially proposed. ?To reach that conclusion, consultants must ask questions to better understand the culture and what has been tried before.

As leaders, we often have answers to situations, but many times, what is needed are not our ideas.? Our goal should be to?foster?the innovation and talents of our team. ?When situations arise, we should not dictate how to deal with them.?Instead, we should ask our team for their ideas on how to solve the problem and provide guidance when needed.

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Stop Focusing on Other’s Success/ Start Planning Yours

A consultant once shared a story about a young man training as a wrestler. ?He worked diligently with his father and had become one of the best wrestlers in the state. ?He made it all the way to the state finals.? Unfortunately, he lost on a controversial decision. As they drove home, his father consoled him over the loss, noting the unfair nature of his defeat. ?Later that evening, the father heard grunting in the basement. He went down to observe his son working out.

“What are you doing?” the father asked.

“I’m working out for the next time,” the son replied. ?“He was better this time because I did not prepare well enough, and I won’t let that happen again.”

One of the most dangerous personality traits is being so competitive that we struggle to celebrate the success of others. ?We should all celebrate successes within the team and organization. ?While we may question at times why we have not met that success level, our goal should never be to fret over the success of others. ?Instead, it should be to prepare better to be equally, if not more, successful in the future.

This means looking at what we are doing today and identifying what changes are needed for our success tomorrow. ?It may even require learning from those you perceive as your competition and duplicating or perfecting their strategies. ?There is nothing wrong with losing, but it is what you learn from those losses that prepares you for success.? So, if you struggle with watching others be successful, stop letting it bother you. ?Focus on how you can be successful and what learning is needed to accomplish it.

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Stop Spending Energy on Fixing Weakness/ Start Maximizing Your Strengths

Over much of our professional lives, and perhaps even further back, we have been measured by two things:?the things we do well and the things we do not.? Most of us excel in many areas, and some even exceptionally so. ?On the flip side, there are areas where we might only partially achieve average results. ?For some, these might be called weaknesses.?? We all have them, and we often spend a great deal of time fixing them.? While that time is often necessary, particularly when it can prevent you from being successful, the greatest potential lies in developing our strengths.

Marcus Buckingham, an expert in an aspect of positive psychology called ‘Strengths,’ spent a lot of time studying the topic of performance excellence. He found that we are not all the same- not difficult to figure out.? However, he also discovered certain characteristics that successful people leveraged. ?They utilized these talents and abilities to perform their jobs well. ?This is what he and his colleague, Donald Clifton, called ‘Strengths.’

President Ronald Reagan was not the most strategic President, but he certainly was one of the most charismatic. ?His vision of the United States as a shining light on a hill for freedom and democracy allowed him to achieve foreign diplomacy, leading to the fall of the Berlin Wall and the creation of a unified Germany.? That is not to say he did not surround himself with people who excelled at strategy. ?But he delegated areas where he was not as strong so that he could focus on his strengths.

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Leadership is not a destination but a continuous journey of learning, adapting, and growing.? There are many things we will learn to start doing and many things we will need to unlearn to stop doing.? As we strive to become exceptional leaders, let us remember to focus on the progress of our team members rather than just their starting points. ?Let us ask more questions and give fewer directives, enabling our teams to find their own solutions and grow in confidence and capability. ?Let us celebrate the successes of others while diligently planning and preparing for our own. ?And finally, let us spend our energy maximizing our strengths rather than fixating on our weaknesses.

As you reflect on your own leadership journey, consider what you need to stop and start doing to become the leader you aspire to be.