STOP "SORRY" now !

"Sorry" was I too forceful in my heading? I am so "sorry" if I upset you and I really apologise if it caused you any concern. STOP STOP STOP apologising for STUFF you are really NOT sorry for. I am not apologising as I want you to read this article and understand that by apologising for stuff because you think you should....you are giving away your personal power.

Sitting with a friend in a large office area three young men come and start playing table tennis at the table just near us. During the game the ball kept landing at my feet. All three men said "sorry" After the fourth time we decided to move out of the way. We could move they couldn't (due to where the table tennis table was located) As we got up they all said "sorry" three or four times. My question here is were they really sorry? No not one little bit (which is totally fine for me I really didn't mind moving) The point being if they were really "sorry" they would stop doing what they were doing.

Just walk through any shopping centre and you will here the word "sorry" a number of times. And while it is nice (and not always the case) if someone bumps into you that they make comment the word "sorry" is it really what you/they feel ?

A client sent me an email the other day to ask where he had gone wrong in his response to his client. His client was being unreasonable with in the terms and conditions of the project however given the way the email was written my client allowed him to hold the power. The email was full of I deeply apologise, it was not by intention..., sorry, please accept my sincere apology, sorry, I do hope you can forgive any... etc etc

NOW please understand that I feel everyone needs to accept responsibility and when the need arises it is important to respond. You may need to apologise for something you are responsible for however it must match the situation.

Our words hold power. Never give your power way. How many times have you said "sorry" and not really meant it?

The word "sorry" comes from "sorrowful" Let's look at the definition

feeling or showing grief."she looked at him with sorrowful eyes"

synonyms:sad, unhappy, dejected, regretful, depressed, downcast, miserable, downhearted, down, despondent, despairing, disconsolate, desolate, bowed down, wretched, glum, gloomy, doleful, dismal, blue, melancholy, melancholic, low-spirited, mournful, woeful, woebegone, forlorn, crestfallen, broken-hearted, heartbroken, inconsolable, grief-stricken; More

• causing grief."the sorrowful news of his father's death"
• synonyms:tragic, sad, unhappy, awful, miserable, wretched, sorry, pitiful, pitiable, grievous, traumatic, upsetting, depressing, distressing, disturbing, disquieting, dispiriting, heartbreaking, heart-rending, agonizing, harrowing; raredistressful
• "the sorrowful news of his father's death"

In all three of the situations I have mentioned above (to the best of my knowledge) no one died, no one was hurt and no one was really sorry (look again at the definition) They may have made a mistake or needed to address a situation. Choosing your words will make all the difference. There are times for "sorry" and times for other words: ensure you match the words with the situation.

Tips for holding your personal power

• Think about how you feel and express that (look at the meaning of the words)
• Use the words appropriate to the situation
• Only say it once, then move on
• If you can change the situation then do it and there is no need for the apologise
• Only apologise (using appropriate words) when you feel there is a need not because you think it's the acceptable or "right" thing to do
• Never justify or make excuses, do it and move forward

Every situation is different and I am all about resolution of any type of conflict. There are times where others are not and when you pass on your personal power to some people they will gobble it up and want more. This is about YOU and what works in your world.

A REMINDER HERE TO TAKE ACTION:

“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda - The Empire Strikes Back

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