Stop 'Shoulding' on Yourself

“I should do this, and I should have done that,” the man essentially said to me, referring to a long list of uncompleted tasks.

We were talking about preparing his business to sell. I had asked about his daily/ weekly/ monthly to-do lists as a way of understanding him and how he does whatever he does.?

How we do one thing is the way we do pretty much everything. Our thoughts, words and actions are interrelated and create our well-established habitual ways of doing whatever we do. How we think is reflected in part by the language we use, whether it is speaking with others or to ourselves.

We need to be especially thoughtful about the words we choose to convey our thoughts and the meaning behind them. Our thinking, of course, leads to the actions we take and the results we create. Our vocabulary, especially our self-talk, needs to enable our upward progress, not get us lost in thick weeds that perhaps obscure the more important tasks.

Why is it worth thinking about this or any particular word? It is frequently used, but in my experience doesn’t result in anything but taking up space in our minds and to-do lists. To me it means something that’s not a ‘Heck Yes’ or a ‘Heck No’, but a Maybe that’s either not currently necessary or just sounds good. It shows up in very lengthy beginning of the day/ week/ monthly to-do lists filled with tasks that might sound good but never quite gotten around to being done. Those tasks remain on our to-do lists. We see them every day and they remind us of something we haven’t done, and we see ourselves as people who get things done. They take up space in our minds that could be put to more productive use. They are a distraction.

If you are wanting to improve your results but don’t know how-begin by paying very close attention to your daily language-whether spoken out loud or your self-talk. Is your language proactive or vague, positive or negative?

My suggestion is to look honestly at your to-do lists. If something isn’t immediately important, put it on a Maybe list to be reviewed at the end of each month. Stay focused on your ‘Heck yeahs!’

Listen to the way you talk to yourself. Is your vocabulary helping you or distracting you? Is this a good time to stop ‘shoulding’ yourself?

Little things are big things. The words we habitually use are vitally important. They reflect what we are thinking and the actions we take. But we are all so close to ourselves that we often can’t see how to improve our them. And yet the results we get are created by those actions.

If you want to improve your results, we can help you take an objective look at your thoughts, actions and results.

The Brokerage LLC is a team of professionals deeply experienced in working with business owners to maximize their results. We are business brokers as well as commercial and residential realtors.

In what way can we help you?

Let’s talk.

Stuart K Kimball

Business Broker and Adviser

The Brokerage LLC

[email protected]???843-209-0784