Stop Should-ing on Yourself

Stop Should-ing on Yourself

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Before wrapping up last week's three-day online workshop, I had an opportunity to share my key takeaways with someone else. My partner enjoyed the conference but complained that he was distracted throughout because he was thinking about everything he?"should've"?been doing over the last three days.?

As he shared, I felt his strain because plenty of things also piled up for me. Then on Friday morning, I was in the hospital nervously waiting for my medical team to take me back for my colonoscopy when I laughed out loud at some things on my to-do list - a lot of it was stupid shit - the world will be okay if I don't post on Instagram.?

What moments are memorable when you look back?

I did a ton of stuff in my corporate career, but I only remember a few moments. That might sound sad, but I spent too much energy on urgent and unimportant things, unproductive meetings, emails, or worrying about the next project.?

However, I do remember early morning coffee clutches, promotion calls, and seeing guests' reactions on award trips, as well as that beautiful summer night sitting by the Salmon River in Idaho with my wife, how the sun kissed the Grand Tetons, 5:15 a.m. bagels with my oldest on our way to volleyball tournaments, and discussing why Taylor is the best ever with my youngest.?

There have been memorable, painful moments as well. Like when I discovered my friend's marriage was ending, another lost her battle with cancer, one of my reps took his life, and being with my mom when she took her last breath.?

All these moments, from the tragic to the beautiful, are about human connection and not wanting to be anywhere or believing I "should be" doing something else at that moment.??

Today at 5:24 p.m. eastern, we welcome the vernal equinox. At that moment, darkness and light are equal. Like every moment, it's fleeting, but as we step into spring in the Northern Hemisphere, we have an opportunity to Pause Breathe Reflect and determine how we wish to begin a new season.?

Here are a few P.B.R. questions to support your reflection:?

  1. How are you when you're at your best??
  2. What could happen when you care for yourself??
  3. What would be possible if you stopped being the hero??
  4. How could you manage your stress differently??

I'm not suggesting that we should be present for every moment or that all of them should be memorable - we are human, after all. We live and work in uncertain times but still get to decide how we show up. We can scroll them away and continue should-ing on ourselves or choose to focus on the moments that matter, embrace life, and let go of the stupid shit.?

If this was an easy decision, everyone would do it.

Ultimately, it's your call, but you don't have to dance alone.?

We've got you!?

Until next week, have fun storming the castle!?

Michael?

And you can welcome spring with some fresh Pause Breathe Reflect swag to help you remember to be in your moments. Everything is 37% off until March 25th.?

Michael OBrien (He/Him)

Resilience, Stress Management and Executive Coach | Speaker | Kintsugi Podcast Host | Meditation Teacher | Cyclist | Husband | Girl Dad x 2

2 年

Thanks for rippling this out to your connections Paula Walker Thejus Chakravarthy S. Lynne Vincent, BSN, RN

Adam Bower (ICF PCC)

Coaching leaders with Community to amplify human potential and drive change

2 年

Thanks for sharing Michael OBrien (He/Him). Happy Equinox. I love the power of 'What could happen if you stopped being the hero?' question. It leaves a lot to ponder!

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