Stop Settling for Lukewarm Love: Transform Your Relationships by Unpacking Your Past

In 2018, I went through one of the most challenging years of my life. I was in the midst of a painful divorce, I lost two grandparents, and there was a lot happening with my family.

Amid all this chaos, I was desperately trying to save my marriage, Googling, reading blogs, watching YouTube videos, and consuming any information I could find. But nothing quite gave me what I needed.

I discovered that much of the advice out there focuses on treating symptoms—how to communicate better, what men or women want—but none of it addressed the deeper root causes of the issues I was facing.

It wasn't until after my divorce when I began therapy and immersed myself in personal growth, that I started to see the full picture.

Yes, there were problems in my marriage, and yes, some things simply made us incompatible. However, what I came to realize was that I had entered into that relationship without the skills necessary to sustain a healthy, long-term partnership.

I didn’t know how to communicate effectively or regulate my emotions during conflict.

I carried unhealed wounds from my past—specifically, early childhood experiences—that were dictating how I showed up in the relationship.

As I reflected on my patterns, I learned that the anxiety, emotional withdrawal, and poor communication weren’t solely the fault of the relationship—they were deeply rooted in my past.

By diving into inner child work and understanding my emotional landscape, I started to heal those wounds and transform my communication.

I learned how to ask for what I needed, truly listen to another person, and heal the pain that I had unknowingly carried from relationship to relationship.

Now, as a relationship coach with a background in social work, I help others build and maintain healthy, supportive relationships through this same inner work.

Whether it's breaking old patterns, healing wounds, or learning to express your emotions in a healthy way, I guide people through the process of self-discovery so they can show up fully in their relationships.

That’s why I created Relearn Relationships, a community hosted on Substack. It’s a space where I share the knowledge and tools to help you unpack your past, heal, and cultivate the skills necessary for lasting connection. You’ll get insights from my Blueprint Awareness Method, weekly clarity questions, action steps, and more to guide your journey.

I understand that not everyone has the time or resources to invest in private coaching. Relearn Relationships is a more accessible way to gain that same knowledge and experience support as you grow.

As a free subscriber, you’ll receive:

• The podcast delivered straight to your inbox
• Weekly clarity questions to help you reflect on your past and patterns
• Action steps to apply what you’re learning in real-time

For paid subscribers, you’ll also get access to:

• Monthly workshops on relational topics
• Group coaching calls
• The “Ask Lilly” segment, where I answer your personal questions on the podcast

Founding members will receive all of this plus a 60-minute Relationship Strategy Session with me, where we can dive into your unique challenges and create a roadmap for growth.

I created Relearn Relationships because I believe deeply in the power of doing the inner work and how it transforms not only you but also the relationships around you.

Whether you're in a struggling relationship, on the verge of giving up, or have never been able to sustain a long-term partnership, this space is for you. And even if your partner isn’t on board with change, your growth can shift the dynamics of your relationship.

If you’re ready to start unpacking your past, break old patterns, and transform how you show up in your relationships, I invite you to subscribe to Relearn Relationships today. Let's dive deeper into the work that will reshape your future connections.

www.relearnrelationships.com