Stop Selling and Start Leading!

"I'm tired of snake oil sales people and coaches trying to sell to coaches."

This is a LinkedIn message I received loud and clear. Yup! This is a common thought running through our heads right now. I have had a similar thought pop into my head too and I also had to stop and look inward about my judgments and what I am stepping over! You aren't selling, you are serving! How you choose to serve says a lot about your business.

If you're curiously engaged, keep reading. If you have had similar thoughts, keep reading. If you're tired of people trying to sell you, keep reading AND if you want to know what to really do about it, you guessed it, keep reading. I'm going to flush out what I believe is really going on (Not reality, just my reality) and my thoughts on how we can all start showing up as authentic leaders!

Let's get one thing out of the way and it's a question really...Why do we see different attempts to connect as "Salesy"?

Why is it that some people appreciate when people share and see it as added value while some see it as salesy and get annoyed and others simply ignore and are indifferent? Coaching is a mirror reflecting back at us, what we see in others, is something that lies within us and we might not be completely be aware of how it is showing up in ourselves! What you believe becomes your reality and your reality creates your world! So, let's have a breakthrough now, if you're open to seeing a new view. Let's begin with a typical LinkedIn journey and see where the breakdown is!

1. You make a connection- people ask to connect with you or you ask to connect with them. Chances are you are connecting with people who you believe would be potential clients, potential helpers or potential connectors- unless your game is "I just want to say I have as many connections as I can without really connecting with people." That happens too! If this is happening you may see attempts to share as salesy because you just wanted quantity not necessarily quality connections in the first place. Nothing wrong- just notice it. This could be the breakdown!
2. You accept or decline and then take some kind of action. After you connect you may engage, drop a link to something you have to offer, share value- like this article. It is an attempt to connect. It may seem like a cookie cutter approach but the reality is you are a leader up to creating lots of great things in the world and the deep connecting happens on a call with people who value what you offer. How will they know if you don't share?! If you see this as a "Marketing ploy" this could be your breakdown- you are all marketing if you are growing an online business.
3. You form an opinion about how people engage with you! You make it mean something and you create stories in your mind. (How sweet for them to share; what great vale; this is a brutal sales attempt). If you believe that last statement this could be your BREAKDOWN!

"Sounds like a soft sell to me."

"You've reached out two times. Please take me off your 'marketing' list."

"What do you even know about me?"

"What makes you believe YOU can help ME?"

The list goes on. We've all done it.

This judgment stops us from actually connecting with people.

I had an NLP Coach reach out to me and then share his page. I was curious about what he does and he offered me a call. I said, "Yes". My view: I have conversations with people all day long and some people aren't my ideal clients and I want to be able to refer them to people that I know can serve them better than I can. I ended up referring him to others. This wouldn't have happened if he didn't share himself with me! It wouldn't have happened if I would have thought, "This slimy sales person is trying to sell me." People come into our networks to serve different purposes!

What Can You Do To Show Up As a Bold Leader?

1. Find Time. When your objective is to deeply connect, show up in the conversation. Regardless of what your bodily sensations are or how you feel take it for what it is (an opportunity or not and RESPOND). Take the time to say, "I'm not interested or tell me more." Ignoring messages is not straight communication. People don't know if you're busy, don't care, forgot, distracted.... so responding regardless is great!

"I love how you support coaches to grow their business and help them build their confidence and it's not something I need at the moment. I appreciate your reach out."

2. Look for positive intentions. Flip the narrative. Be curiously engaged. What response would you like to hear from a connection? What stories are you making up in your head about how people might respond to you if you reach out to share what you do? How can you shift it powerfully?

The better question is, "How is this belief stopping you in your business?" Remember being a coach is always shining a light on our stuff that shows up. It's never about someone else. One of the beauties of being a High Performing Coach, you take on what others won't and that's being responsible.

3. Be a Leader. Be kind. We are all on this journey to live life and we are all doing our best. Let's love one another and be patient.

Share what you offer. Share your posts. Share yourself. Be willing to transform how you see others in this situation and in the process you will transform yourself! This ability speaks volumes about who you are as coach and mentor and leader. We are all human beings. We all have feelings, thoughts and emotions and we don't have to BE our thoughts, feelings and emotions.

The truth is less than 24% of coaches are earning a full time income and pretending they are. They are stuck or stopped and are struggling. I don't know who that might be and you better believe I am going to find those people and give them a ton of value- even if they don't want to work with me.

I know what that was like to have a gift to give and no one to give it to! I also know what it's like to look like a high paying coach with all the credentials and to not be making money- I felt alone and I don't want others to feel alone! I also know what it feels like to come out on the other side and show up powerfully for those that need me and reap the financial benefits of showing up powerfully.

If this is you, I am going to share my group. I am going to share a Coaches Score card that tests your unshakeable belief in yourself. I am going to connect with you and offer a call to help you- you will get value from me.

If this does not interest you and you are making the money you want and making the impact in the world that inspires you and you don't believe I may be able to contribute to you in some way through referrals or content value then please don't be afraid to cancel the connection.

Not everybody will be my people. I really hope you are and we can contribute to each other.

With respect and so much love,

Tina

P.S. I have a service I offer and if you tell me you are looking for support I am going to share my services with you and I encourage you to do the same for the people you serve. That's what leaders do!